Lockdown shared care issue help needed

[Twinztwo]

I have 2 children and share their care with ex partner who lives nearby. I am the primary carer - the split is usually 4 overnight stays with me and 3 with dad. He is a capable involved father.
During lockdown he has been able to easily work from home /home-school the children whilst I cannot as a key worker . I work 4 weekdays 1 day off .

We both want them at home not school during lockdown. There is no legal agreement in place.
I have tried emailing/speaking/text and have given notice that I will refer us for mediation although I fear this will make things even worse short term.
Main issue is : He is spending 4 school days a week with them and still wants 50/50 outside school hours which would mean they effectively spend 70/30 time with him Also : i can’t establish a schedule which is adversely affecting their behaviour when they are with me plus he giving them negative (untrue!) messages about me which is making them angry alienating them towards me as they believe what he tells them .

In the recent past I’ve had good legal advice and knew where I stood but this situation is different.

You need to negotiate or refuse to return the children. But then your only childcare alternative is to send to school.
Keep a diary of any comments of what the children say ex has said.
Keep any written information and try to only communicate via text or email to ensure a paper trail.
Moving forward, you may well have to instigate mediation with a view to move to court.
You have no legal agreement and though you deem you're the rp, given this situation of the coronavirus isn't going away it may well be that he's actually better placed to be the rp, given further lockdown etc are likely. The issue really need to be that if your days are not set and change on a weekly basis, allowing for continuity is going to be challenging. He shouldn't get just the school workload days nor should you not get quality time.

Re the parental alienation, in writing be blunt and state that you believe he is alienating you and that this is viewed dimly by the family courts. I would also quote the QC on this link. www.familylaw.co.uk/news_and_comment/parental-alienation-treading-a-treacherous-path

I apologise for misreading your work pattern as a rota.

Given that you have one day off in the week, I think that you may have to accept that you need to compromise here and accept that if he's homeschooling and working, that this is a hell of a juggle and that he should get a quality day with the children. So my suggestion based on this would be (assuming Friday is your day off) :
Thursday evening you collect children. Then you return them Saturday evening or Sunday morning depending on ex's agreement. This will only give you 2 overnights per week, but is "fair" and in the best interests of the children, so they get quality time with both parents. You do with this, actually get more time if you're not educating on your time.

I would be wary of blaming all poor behaviour on the father. Parental alienation is unacceptable, but remember that all children are struggling at this time. It's confusing for everyone and for many being cooped up has reached its limits.

Hth
I will

Thanks SoloMummy- it’s so helpful to get an objective view - do you have a legal background (wishing I did!) - I’m struggling to get clarity . I definitely realise juggling homeworking/kids is a big ask and offered to take leave but was rejected . I agreed to split weekends to allow each person a quality day each week during lockdown.
Mediation and a stable schedule is a must . I always worried about what he would do in retaliation if I started formal process.
The idea that he might be the rp because I have to work is my worst fear and something I have fought against for years .. i would effectively loose the little control I have left .
The judges comments in the article are chilling but true. Thank you for including that . I will keep a diary , I have often written notes . I agree not all bad behaviour is the other parent- it’s also normal ! So hard to differentiate.. but I can see it getting more entrenched -

Good luck.