To work or not to work?

[SAL27]

Hi everyone,

i have a 6 year old daughter and my son has just turned 1 years old.

I graduated last year and was very suprised to get a good job at a fantastic place.

I started full-time work in february 2009, when my son was just 4 months old!!

I worked full-time until recently and work 3 and a half days a week now and am in 2 minds.

i don't know whether i should leave work to spend time with the kids, or continue with my job. i feel at present i am a bad mother for not spending alot of time with them.

i like what i am doing and don't think i will get another position if i left, if i left i feel by the time my sons 3/4 i would have been out of work for too long for an employer to even consider employing me!!

i really don't know what to do, any advice would be highly appreciated!!!

sal

I would say that if you have a good part-time job (the Holy Grail for many mothers!) don't give it up.

You are not a bad mother for working. You've compromised already by going part-time to give your DCs more time, so - if you are all happy - don't change a thing.

unfortunately guilt seems to be a part of being a mother- most of us feel guilty for our choices at some time or other.

just take your time and see what suits you and your DC.

i bet you are not a crap mum either.

Wherabouts are you? I'm west of Newcastle- edge of Northumberland

I agree, if you enjoy your job and your children are happy in there childcare then carrying on. Even if you leave your job trust me, you will still find something else to feel guilty about with regards to your children! There is no right or wrong answer to this, everyone and every family is different. I left work to be a stay at home mum and whilst it was definitely what dd1 needed I feel like I have lost a part of myself if you see what I mean. Whatever you decide, do not feel guilty for it and don't let anyone else make you feel so. Best of luck.

It's a tough decision to make. I gave up working when my daughter was born just over 3 years ago. I was under the impression that I should not work and should give my daughter 100% of my time all the time and that I would be a bad parent if I went back to work. It took me 2 years to discover you need a break....both for the children and yourself, whether that is going to work or having a couple of hours a day while they are at pre school, you will find you miss having some adult time! Shortly after my son was born in June 2008 I decided it was time to do something for me, rather than spend all day everyday changing nappies, cooking and cleaning the house! I decided to work 1 day a week and my children both go to nursery. Everyone is different, my children are everything to me and I am fortunate that I get to still spend a lot of time with them, I would never want to work full time but I would not give up my 1 day now!

thanks for all your messages. It really helps knowing it's not just me having to make tough decisions. I have realised as women we CAN'T HAVE IT ALL!!! I now work part-time 4 days a week and love it!!

Just to let you know you're not in the boat on your own, I work part time, 3 days a week. I was also riddled with guilt, but DS is well cared for (by someone I know I can trust) while I am at work.
In an ideal world, where money wasn't an issue, I'd probably give up work. As it is, we are hoping to move from our current flat to a house some time soon, so DP and I both need to work to pay the mortgage.
I don't beat myself up with guilt anymore - DS is well cared for when I'm at work, he loves the woman who looks after him, and she loves him. I enjoy the adult company while I'm at work, and I enjoy DS's company even more when I'm not at work.