What do you want from a village? Do you want to be rural? Still close to Durham? Do you know where your dd will be going or is that still up in the air? By college do you mean 6th form/A levels or other courses?
Areas I know something of: Newton Hall/Fram are suburb really rather than village but are nice areas, you can walk in to Durham and in good area for schools.
Shincliffe is very naice. I'm not as clear on Bowburn and Coxhoe in that direction. I think they have some nice bits and not so nice bits but I don't know which is which.
Towards my side of Durham you Have Langley Moor which has a decent little high street and you can walk to Durham (quite nice going back way to river and in towards the Cathedral). But still feels like more of a suburb.
Ushaw Moor is a fairly deprived area (but then a lot of villages are. Ex mining = deprived. Agricultural background = less so) but has a very good community going on with active community group. Durham Community Business College is in Ushaw Moor. Used to be an over my dead body sort of a school/college but has improved a LOT in recent years so is not to be discounted. Depends on what your dd wants to do.
Further out from Ushaw Moor you hit Esh Winning and the surrounding villages (Waterhouses, East Hedley Hope, Cornsay Colliary, Esh Village). Esh Winning is where the shops are plus Dr, NHS dentist etc. All pretty nice places to live with a fair amount going on. I'm in Waterhouses (we have a website if you google to get a flavour of events in the village), feels nice and rural but still only a mile along a nice cycle path to Esh Winning and shops. You are looking at being 5/6 miles from Durham in this area. 7/8 if as far as East Hedley Hope.
Also in the same direction is Lanchester which is nice and pretty and has a very good school up to 6th form. Nice little array of shops, agricultural not mining. Great cafe.
As you move on to Stanley, Consett etc I don't really know much.