Help! Childbirth options for first-timer

[donttrythisathome]

Hello,
I'm 9 weeks pregnant with my first, live in Hove and don't know anybody here to ask.

My options are RSCH or Worthing, or a homebirth or Crowborough Birth Centre.

None sound ideal, as the community midwife told me they are really busy in RSCH and that postnatal care there is non-existent (she works there).

She said that often midwifes are not available for homebirths (though it's getting better).

She said that besides the long journey to Crowborough, the nearest hospital in case of transfer (Tunbridge Wells) is not good in her opinion.

She doesn't know much about Worthing, except they're more relaxed about letting you stay on post-natally as they are less busy.

I appreciate her honesty, but feel like just crossing my legs when the time comes and going nowhere!

Any suggestions? I am really open to any advice, whether hospital/max pain relief, or hypnobirthing at home.

I can't afford private care, but could stretch to a doula if anyone has recommendations!

Sorry - long post.

Congratulations!

I had planned homebirths for all 3 of mine, in Brighton then Hove. Really lovely midwives, all my children ended up being born in RSC in the end, but I was so glad to have laboured at home. It felt supportive, no regrets.

Agree with everything thefreak says above re preparing for homebirth if you want that option.

I also did yoga/ birth preparation classes with Karel Ironside who's at the top of Ditchling road, she's amazing and really helped me to make good confident choices and to feel ok when it didn't go as planned. She runs post-natal groups too.

Thanks for that.

I would love a birth partner with experience, but my sister/friends with kids are all overseas Will check out Karel Ironside.

3 years, but work full-time in London and been renovating the house so no time to scratch, not to mind meet folks!

Mind you, I seem to have plenty of time to lurk on MN

i had dc5 in RSCH and it was fine, good in fact. I had an amenity room afterwards (£90 I think).

If I were you I would go for a home birth - I think they often try to put people off this - and be open minded about a transfer to RSCH if necessary.

Just wanted to chip in to say I had DS in RSCH; I had a terrible time (not their fault) and the care was excellent. They were VERY busy, it is true, but there always seemed to be someone on hand. HTH

Have you considered PRH in Haywards Heath? I'm just outside of Brighton, and have opted to go there. Its quieter and smaller, the staff seemed that bit more friendly and relaxed.

Congratulations x

Thanks.

EricaMaye I haven't considered PRH. Is it because it's friendlier that you chose it, or have you heard other good things about it?

It was suggested because of my health concerns - I have a history of mental health problems and they have a physc. team allocated to the ward - but decided to go there after I'd looked round and encounted the staff. The antenatal care has been fantastic, I couldn't actually fault them, and seeing as this is my first time, and I'm a worrier, thats saying something And when I had to be taken to the labour ward once because I was in pain and the antenatal unit was closed, they were all abolsutely fantastic. All very kind, very funny and upbeat. I found that they had more time to comfort and reassure than they have at the Sussex.

Sounds great. My sis had PND, so I'll have to be on alert for any psych issues myself. Kind and funy sounds ideal - my cy midwife is a no-nonsense pragmatic type which i found a bit off-putting. My OH says I put her on the defensive by grilling her though.

That shouldn't have put her on the defensive, you're quite entitled to ask as much and as often as you want! If you're concerned about PND then I'd really recommend PRH (I could totally be their sales person, rereading what I've written!!! ) simply because everyone is checked out for it from what I can gather. They also have a maternity physc. team that you can book to see before hand to discuss your concerns if you want.

I had both my DC at home - am near Worthing.

Brighton and Worthing both v good re homebirths. Midwives very supportive. DD (6 weeks) I was told to go into hospital as no MW available BUT my coomunity midwife had told me to ask for the Supervisor of midwives in this event. Istood firm and ended up with the \Supervisor delivering DD.

I had pool and used hypnobirthing and had a great experience.

If you think you might want HB book one.

Terrible one-handed typing - sorry

i had my first child up in the midlands, we had to pester for everything including gas and air and the post-labour care was poor. sadly i don't think is that abnormal as there is very often a shortage of staff on the wards and it depends on how busy they are. nevertheless, i have opted to have my second child (due this october) in the RSCH as i don't want a homebirth. i have heard mixed things about the RSCH, both very good and bad. my friend had her first in brighton and second at HH, she said HH was a nicer hospital but there is no special care unit there so it depends on how nervous you are in case something goes wrong (which i am sure won't happen but just in case that was a factor for you). as for pain relief - keep an open mind and don't rule ANYTHING out! i have had friends go into labour assuming they will get through it with just hypnobirthing but the reality has been very different because you just don't know how your body adn baby are going to be. i managed with just gas and air but was very prepared to have the whole range of pain relief if necessary. my bro is a consultant in obs & gynae and he told me with my first one that midwives get really frustrated when women come in with very set views on how their labour will be as that can make their job harder if something unexpected happens. oh, and he told me that you should never make your birth plan more than one page, never laminate it or colour code it - if you do it can sometimes end up on the midwives' desk where they laugh at it!! final piece of advice - some people seem to really enjoy telling pregnant women horror stories about births they had or know of. try and ignore them, yes it hurts a lot but it can't be that bad all the time or noone would have more than one baby!

sorry - just re-read that post and i don't want anyone thinking that i mean people on HERE are telling their horror stories! what i mean is that when I was pregnant with my first baby i couldn't believe how people who didn't even know me would tell me awful stories about people they knew and things that went wrong in their labour which really upset me and were completely unnecessary and were not constructive in the least. hope i didn't offend anyone who thought i was referring to them!

I had DS1 in RSCH and DS2 in Worthing hospital. I hated RSCH and wouldn't have gone back even if I'd still being living there.

I may have just had a bad experience but I know a colleague of mine had her first in Brighton and vowed never to go back.

I just wasn't very impressed with the care during or after the birth. I had a much better experience in Worthing.

Lots of food for thought there. Ta everyone!

Looks like EVERY option has good and not so good points. Was very interested to hear you can get a homebirth even if they tell you no-one is available. My midwife didn't tell me that!

Yeah, the horror stories are not that helpful especially as it's hard to accurately describe feelings. They probably just want to prepare you...or are evil

I think my biggest fear is having to have an emergancy CS, as a friends sister so comfortingly told me recently that because she'd drunk some fluids in the earlier stages of her labour, she lost enough blood that she nearly died when they had to operate. So I'm pretty shit scared!!!

I'm going to order a couple of books on natural pain relief, simply because I've found it helpful with my disability, so hold an open mind for labour, too

Just wanted to let you know I had my son in Worthing hospital back in Feb this year and they were brilliant. He was in Special care for 3 weeks and the staff there all looked after him really well. I cannot recommend their maternity unit and SCBU more highly. The midwives, doctors and all the nurses are lovely and the hospitals not too bad either. Only down side is the food but with a brand new baby food really will be the last thing on your mind. They run a one day course where you can go and have a look around the delivery suite and also they go through the whole process of labour and birth. I would recommend the tour so you know whats going to happen but I didnt like the rest of the day, it scared me more than anything so wuldnt reccommend that so much.
Good luck

Thanks lauarmoore1976!

i also had two homebirths near Worthing (very interesting to hear to ask for the supervisor! I'll bear that in mind if they say they are busy)

was about as positive as a very painful experience can be! That is, not unbearable, and once over, fabulous.

Though make sure you book in in advance. I found M/Ws very variable depending on which one you got (and probably the same lovely MW that attended my HB could be someone elses cow on a bad day)

I think whatever you choose in the way of birthing strategy, having a good person with you is a real benefit, to support you in your labour. So if there's noone to hand, maybe a doula?

What a great thread - I am also preg and new to Hove, so this info is really useful.