Need to vent.......

[thinking2much]

Hi all,

I am left to chat on here as at this second in time I feel tearful and introvert.

I am a very bubbly and chatty person and get on with everyone. I am a mother of 3 children including a step son of 15. I have been with my current partner for 11 years (although we had a 3 year break in the middle) and I feel my relationship with my family is the best and I feel proud.

The thing that is getting me down is that I have only 1 friend. I did have lots of friends (all from the same group that I met a few years back) but now I have chosen to not be part of hteir lives as I feel vidicated by them all the time and as though my friendship was never accepted. I also felt like they rated me as lower then them and I was 2nd rate. They are all from the music business and have this ora about them that says they are better.

After several years of feeling sidelined all the time I felt it got me down to much. No matter what friend I made from being with that group my friendship with them was never strong enough for them to take my side or be a good friend to me.

I am nearly 30 and feel that making new friends (good freinds, normal freinds with normal lives) is so hard, like I am a failure of some sorts.

Anytime I made new friends not from that group I was questioned all the time, like where are they from how did you meet them. Dont forget about your real friends kind of jibes. They would often slag them off and make me feel like I wasn't allowed to have other friends or I couldn't possibly have my own.

I am now left crying at my pc! It is not because I miss them, far from it.....in the end I hated them for what they made me feel and how they treated me. However now I just dont know how to make friends at all!

I worked ofr so many years of my life and no am a home mum and my husband is the full time worker. I love my children and my family and as said before not unhappy about that at all. I dont suffer from post natel depression I dont get stressed around my children at all. I just want to be around some female friends that are nice.

There is so much more to this story but to much to convey in a post on this site.

Also, it is hard for me to make new mum freinds in this area as one of the girls is a mum in this area and she gets everywhere and she is such a big mouth and always spreads gossip, so no doubt she has told them about me.

I am lost.

xx

Seems I cant even talk to people on here only 1 helpful answer after 1 hour -

I feel even ore deflated - cant even talk to people on the net! lol

Hello - not sure if you are still here! You do sound very down. How old are your younger children? What sort of life do you now lead with them? Are they in school or pre-school? Do you get out and about and try to meet people? Sorry for all the questions but I wondered if you are suffering from some sort of depression - you say not postnatal depression suggesting that you kids are young. Often people who do have PND don't realise it.
I think you have a lot of issues to work through and without doing that it will be tough for you to make new friends because you will carry these with you. You say you are bubbly and chatty but you really sound very low here....tell me a bit more. I am listening.

you sound miserable, no one ever tells you how judgmental people become when they grow up, you think it ends at school.

you say you have one friend, i that friend is a true friend, you have more than others do.

try to stay positive, it will get better x

Whilst I'm not in the the exact same situation as you are, I often feel lonely, and alone. My boyfriend works long hours in the bar business, and due to several years at university, where I was moving around a lot, chopping and changing my degree and adding on extra degrees after, I have only a few friends, none of whom live nearby. Since finding out I was pregnant, I've decided to stay local to my mum as she'll be able to help out with childcare etc when I need to get back to work. But I also use her mostly for support at the moment!! I've spent several weekends in tears as I can't bring myself to phone my mum yet again, my boyfriend is working and none of my friends are nearby. Nor have any of them got any idea about what it's like to be pregnant - I'm 26, and the first of any of my friends to be pregnant (most are single or committed no-children couples!)

I've gone through some 'bitchy girl' times in the past (all girls school for 7 years!) and have come out stronger. So you must look at it that way. No matter what those other women think, or say, you must rise above it. I know it's easy to say 'get out there and meet some new people' but it's what I'm telling myself I have to do at the moment. It helps to vent on forums such as these, but it's also a way of meeting people, chatting to them. But maybe you could find a class to go to during the week, or something? Bit cheesy I know, but it gets you out and about!

And don't feel let down by people not replying to your original post, whilst it's hard for you to have written all your thoughts and feelings down, I think a lot of people just don't really know what to say, I'm generally useless in crisis situations!

You'd get a lot more replies if you posted in relationships than in MN local. Its not such a high traffic here and people tend to be asking practical questions. try reposting you'll probably get a lot more advice.

Hi, i used to have more friends when i wasnt a mum, now i cant say i eve
n have one true friend so you have one more than me :) I find its harder to make friends with genuine people as i get older, and have learnt to accept that i may never find that one true friend. I find richmond is all about materialistic people. What about websites to meet friends? Just a suggestion, take care x