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(WARNING: DV mention) Housing, pregnancy,

8 replies

Kaitlyn445 · 07/11/2025 22:49

Hi I need some advice thought maybe putting a post here can help me get my head around things... IV recently gone through DV it's been a hell of a journey for me but basically where I am it isn't safe so I called different councils to try get some help with moving to another area where I can restart my life away from everything that's happened... Every council IV spoke to have told me the only emergency accommodation they can put me in is a shared mixed sex hostel there is nothing else IV pleaded with them saying iv got mental proof that because of what IV been through it's severely affected my mental health I'm also currently pregnant and need someone that I could have suitable cooking facilities cause I need to eat properly without using packets of noodles and tinned foods but the councils are insisting that it's going to be a hostel not to mention they've also said if I want to turn down the emergency accommodation I can look into private let which I certainly don't have the money for... Can anyone help me because this is beyond ridiculous IV gave over proof of everything that's happened proof that I cannot be in a hostel or B&B or hotel because of what's happened but yet they're still wanting to place me there cause according to them the "shared male and female hostels are the only accommodations we have"
Someone please help there must be something I can do!

OP posts:
Sohelpmegod25 · 07/11/2025 22:51

Im so sorry to read this; I would contact women’s aid as they will hopefully help in providing a safe space for you.

Kaitlyn445 · 10/11/2025 08:46

Hi IV already contacted woman's aid they're going to give me support but as for a refuge they won't do that

OP posts:
Burningbud1981 · 10/11/2025 08:49

Kaitlyn445 · 10/11/2025 08:46

Hi IV already contacted woman's aid they're going to give me support but as for a refuge they won't do that

Then you haven’t got any choice but to accept the emergency accommodation. Unfortunately emergency accommodation can be lower standards then you are used to and usually aren’t self contained. And is normally what is available on the day.

If you decline the council could end duty to assist you with housing. They shouldn’t keep you there more than 6 weeks. Ask if they have financial assistance to help you into private renting

Holdonforsummer · 10/11/2025 08:50

I’m really sorry for your situation but the housing situation is dire in most areas and you will almost certainly be placed in temporary accommodation for a while. This is usually a HMO, a hostel or a hotel. I am a midwife and I have seen some truly upsetting housing situations but unless it is actively unsafe, I don’t think you will have loads of choice. There just aren’t properties out there waiting for people. Agree that Women’s Aid might be able to give advice but they can’t work magic. Have you got any family you could stay with?

Kaitlyn445 · 10/11/2025 08:57

Hiya I completely understand the housing crisis I do and at least I'm getting support it is just with all other accommodation isn't suitable for me even then one of the councils told me it was a hostel I have family in the area and said it's too dangerous so I went with another council and the amount of times they said they'd put me in a bedsit or 1 bedroom property but then turn round and say it's a hostel it's so confusing my baby dad called and asked as well for me and apparently he was very angry at the fact that the woman said I can take the accommodation or I can stay where I am at this point I think I'm just gonna need to take it I'll try and not stress myself out because last time I was placed in a hostel it affected my mental health so badly that I was sectioned and no I don't have family I could stay with iv 2 older sisters I ask if I could stay with them but I can't cause they're both married and have kids it would be classed as very over crowded

OP posts:
Burningbud1981 · 10/11/2025 09:00

Kaitlyn445 · 10/11/2025 08:57

Hiya I completely understand the housing crisis I do and at least I'm getting support it is just with all other accommodation isn't suitable for me even then one of the councils told me it was a hostel I have family in the area and said it's too dangerous so I went with another council and the amount of times they said they'd put me in a bedsit or 1 bedroom property but then turn round and say it's a hostel it's so confusing my baby dad called and asked as well for me and apparently he was very angry at the fact that the woman said I can take the accommodation or I can stay where I am at this point I think I'm just gonna need to take it I'll try and not stress myself out because last time I was placed in a hostel it affected my mental health so badly that I was sectioned and no I don't have family I could stay with iv 2 older sisters I ask if I could stay with them but I can't cause they're both married and have kids it would be classed as very over crowded

Unfortunately unless you have somewhere else to stay you’ll need to take it.

jackstini · 10/11/2025 12:17

When are you due?

I would take whatever they can give you for now as things could change in a few weeks and they will likely move you

If you turn it down you will not be in a good position for getting anything

Look on local pay it forward or free cycle pages and see if you can get a small microwave and air fryer to help you eat more healthily

Holdonforsummer · 10/11/2025 16:28

with sympathy, everyone is in the same boat and unfortunately pregnancy and mental health are not special factors.

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