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New to area - Billy no mates

5 replies

klimtmum · 10/05/2008 09:11

Hi. We moved to Friern Barnet in January. This morning my nearly-six year old daughter woke up at 5.30 (obviously as it is the weekend!) and told me she was lonely. I already knew this but now I really need to do something about it.
The thing is we know noone locally. She and I commute into Islington every day for work and school. I can't move her to a school up here because I have to be at work at 8.30 so I can't get pre-school childcare locally because nothing starts early enough for me to get to work in time. She also likes her school and doesn't want to change and, because her school is near to where I work, I can go to class assemblies etc, which I couldn't do if she was at school up here.
I have started her at local Rainbows and local drama at the weekend, but that doesn't really help because I just don't feel I can go up to parents and say "Please be our friends!" and all the kids already know each other because they are at local schools.
Only a few of my own friends have kids my daughter's age and none of them live near me and she doesn't really see friends from school, because she is at a school where the majority of mums aren't working, so they all know each other from the school run or from living on the local estates, whereas I have always worked so I never do the school run, so I never meet the mums.
I feel really quite embarrassed at writing all this, but honestly we are not social outcasts because we are horrible people, it is just because of our current circumstances. Any and all suggestions gratefully received!

OP posts:
Mercy · 10/05/2008 16:51

Welcome to Mumsnet klimtmum

Poor you and dd . I've got a couple of suggestions

Sign up for a Mumsnet meet up, either in your home or work area. I believe some take place at weekends (with children) and some during lunch hours (just parents) and all different times! That way you will at least get to meet other mums which in turn means your dd will meet other children. There have been big London meet-ups - not sure if those still happen, but keep an eye out for them.

I assume other mums go to class assemblies? Ask your dd who her friends are and try to approach the parents after assembly to arrange a playtime/tea/lunch one weekend.

Have you ever arranged a birthday party for dd? That's another way of getting to know people.

Who picks dd up after school btw?

Mercy · 10/05/2008 16:53

Also give her a bit more time at Rainbows and drama so that she can start to make friends, and then try approaching the parents. I know it can be hard but I tend to use a set line to introduce myself!

elkiedee · 14/05/2008 00:54

What time do you and your dd get back from work/school?

Could you take her to a local park at weekends or after you get home, given that it's light at the moment? Or do you do long hours?

Any groups at the library?

What do you do in the school holidays? Would a local summer playscheme be an option?

klimtmum · 14/05/2008 21:49

Thanks both of you. We do go to the park at weekends but we don't usually get home until after 6 during the week. Birthday parties at my kid's school are not run of the mill. Very few kids have parties, her birthday is during the holidays and we had a party last year. Only one friend from school came and none of the mums bothered to reply. This isn't unusual at her school. We will have another party this year...we'll see. I pick her up from an after school club,but you don't meet anyone there because parents all come at different times and it's a case of grab kid and run for train.

However she made a friend at the weekend with a little girl who lives in our block... so guilt is temporarily assuaged.

OP posts:
elkiedee · 15/05/2008 00:00

Well, that's good news - the little girl in your block.

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