Wexham or Frimley? Recent birth experiences please

[pringlesnap]

I had a bad experience at Wexham in 2020, particularly highlighted by the lack of post-natal care post ECS.

I know the NHS is understaffed but every time we asked a question or sent for medicine or colostrum for our baby who was having trouble latching, it would take hours to action and only after being reminded 3x-5x for every little thing.

I had to buzz for over an hour straight in the middle of the night to get a nurse to help my baby who I couldn't lift out of her crib while I was sobbing non-stop from exhaustion (42 hr labor, no sleep) emotions and hormones. Zero words of comfort given.

The cafeteria was shut and no one offered us tea, meals, anything even after asking repeatedly.

We had to ask repeatedly to change my catheter. They forgot to take out my cannula and didn't even offer a wheelchair upon discharge 24 hrs after birth (I discharged myself as soon as possible because the lack of care and support was shocking).

Was this standard of care to be expected? I was heartened by the recent parliamentary report in birth trauma and hoping this sparks change, but the attitude I felt at the hospital was very much to suck it up and accept it as normal.

Anyway, now due to have my second, will need to have another CS (because of complications from the first - although at least this will be planned).

The thought of returning to Wexham fills me with dread, but I've also heard awful things about FP lately.

TLDR:
Can anyone, particular CS mummys, shed light on recent experiences at either hospital? Thank you

I don't have experience if the hospitals, but o do have experience of an unplanned CS and a planned one.

I was so much more aware the second time round, so
Much more assertive - aware of what I needed. Wasn't tired from labouring. The experience was a dream in comparison.

I was in for 2 nights either both. For the second one I asked (and was willing to pay) for a private room as soon as 24hours hit!

Was your first in Covid? Mine was, do the second time I had my husband there for a lot longer, which was helpful!

The postnatal ward is hell, but you know what to expect this time!

That sounds awful; I’m really sorry. I had good care in 2021 and my friend just had great care for there in the last few months; neither were C sections though (though I did end up with intervention on labour ward with theatre for me and special care for baby). I do think things are just a different world from the pandemic though; I was the tail end with full restrictions as was my friend for her first. All my friends who’ve had babies during and also since have found it a completely different experience so I hope that’s reassuring!

Post natal care is dire everywhere. Your experience sounds depressingly normal although generally speaking no one is offered a wheelchair at discharge after birth, including if you’ve had a section.

Generally I would expect to take lots of snacks in to supplement any hospital meals. Breakfast was served at 9am and dinner at 5pm & I was lucky I’d packed loads to eat as I was starving. I didn’t get offered the fabled toast and tea after my section either!

My NCT group had a mix of Wexham, west London and Watford hospitals and what you’ve described sounds like all of our experiences.

I had a Wexham c section less than a year ago. It wasn't great, quite a mixed bag.

I wanted a VBAC but they fucked it up.

They had no beds on maternity but they wanted to induce me so I was in limbo for 3 days, doing sweet F all with a toddler missing me at home, as I waited for a free bed. I asked to go home but was refused as I had had a small bleed. Fair enough, they wanted to monitor baby.

They then induced me incorrectly (as I wasn't dilated they should have used a balloon or pessary but they just burst my waters. Midwife later told me she had no idea why they'd do this). Unsurprisingly the labour didn't progress so c section it was.

Fantastic man did the epidural. Clearly very skilled. He took about 60 seconds and zero pain.

C section took a long time as a senior surgeon was monitoring a less experienced surgeon. She used forceps to get DD out of my abdomen and caused a large cut on her head and arm. I appreciate sometimes forceps is needed and it can cut the head, but surely the arm cut was negligent? I didn't have the energy to query this. Poor DD was badly bruised and didn't use that arm much in the first few weeks.

My 1st midwife was a locum and brilliant. Very experienced and calm.

2nd midwife seemed inexperienced and smelled strongly of cigarettes. She got the baby measurements wrong (like WAY off). She had measured the head 4cm smaller than it was which resulted in a junior doctor coming and telling me DD was about to have x, y and z tests. I asked her to remeasure her head as it didn't look small to me. It wasn't small and she apologised and cancelled the tests.

Lactation lady came round lots and was incredibly helpful.

DD was back for jaundice treatment on day 3 for 12 hours and they were very good.

I got the impression they were poorly staffed and spread thin, but presume it's like that everywhere?

Thanks for replies. I gave birth before the pandemic, luckily, in January 2020 so no excuses there.

@RhetoricalRectangle that's terrible, unacceptable even. Did anyone ever walk you through this/your hospital notes? I'd have a half a mind to sue in your shoes but I guess that's the last thing on anyone's mind trying to deal with recovery and a newborn.

I'm sad that my experiences rings pretty normal.

I experienced frimley in 2014 and 2018. Generally happy with the treatment and they listened during labour.

They were a bit worse with aftercare in 2014. I had problems getting DS to feed and he didn't get a proper feed for quite a while. When I mentioned I was worried about this happening again in 2018, they were apologetic and said it shouldn't have happened.

No complaints at all in 2018. I even had gestational diabetes but no intervention was needed during labour so they didn't offer it. They were also lovely when I kept turning up for lack of movement.
Lots of people round here still have good experiences of frimley.