If I was to move back to Tunbridge Wells?

[MissingTW]

I lived in Tunbridge Wells which I loved, and in less than a year I was able to build a lovely life there with an active social life. Prior to Tunbridge Wells I lived in London.

I met my now husband while I lived in Tunbridge Wells and at the time it made sense for me to be the one that moved to the area he lived in as he was close to his office and I worked remotely. He also already owned while I was going on viewings and trying to buy. This town is great for train links into London where most of my friends and family are and we have a lovely home but unfortunately three years into being in this area I'm deeply unhappy here. There isn't much to do, I have no friends or social life in this area (believe me I've tried to make friends), and I feel like I'm losing myself and a sense of who I was in this town. I'm desperate to move back to Tunbridge Wells.

One other big change is that we are expecting our first child in a few months.

When I lived in Tunbridge Wells I lived right in the centre of town with the High Street and The Pantiles just a few minutes walk away.

If we were to come back where should we focus our search in Tunbridge Wells now that we would be coming back to Tunbridge Wells as a family? In summary which part of Tunbridge Wells does it make sense to live in for schools and activities for children? Should we consider Tonbridge too?

I grew up in Sevenoaks OP so I know Tunbridge Wells a bit. My impression (& it is just my impression) is that Tun Wells is very much a ‘keeping up with the joneses’ type of place to bring up kids. My friend lived there with her family & found it very competitive. They had a modest house & she felt pressure as everyone at her son’s school had huge houses. It’s very expensive to live there. But maybe ok if you’re well off?

I went to school in Tonbridge & it has a very different feel. The high street is a bit rundown although the castle & surrounding countryside is nice. If you like Tun Wells I’d consider Sevenoaks as it’s nearer to London. We’ll actually be moving there next year to be near my family! I’d prefer to stay in London really as I find small towns a bit claustrophobic but it will make sense on a practical level.

One last thing is that I sense Sevenoaks is also quite competitive as it’s an affluent town & you have the grammar school system in Kent so lots of kids are tutored to pass the 11+. It’s not really my scene but my DD is currently home Ed. It’s different strokes for different folks! My mum & dad have a nice network of neighbours in Sevenoaks & are quite involved locally.

@Whereismycat thanks! We have friends in Sevenoaks and it would be convenient as most of my friends are in London but admittedly we haven't spent much time in Sevenoaks so I don't know what it's like in terms of things to do and ease of making friends.

@MissingTW TW is great, we moved here 3 years ago and couldn't be happier. Have made lots of friends through nursery and love being close to the pantiles and bustling high st. If you can afford it, look around Farmcombe rd as you'll safely be in the Claremont catchment, you're close to town, the parks and the station while still getting a decent house / garden. Yes there are some wealthy people who put value on driving the latest Range Rover but you don't have to be friends with them unless you want to be!

If you want to live in a gridlocked town that's a pita to get in and out of as well as a gazillion flats being built on every possible spot then move to TW. Access to London isn't anywhere as good as from Tonbridge or Sevenoaks as the lines split in Tonbridge so only 50% of the trains go to TW. It is very DFL these days and I haven't met one pleasant incomer. Victoria Place shopping centre is empty.

The schools are good although massively oversubscribed due to the influx of DFLs and local population increases in last few years.

Well I guess I'm a DFL (although actually a northerner) and I've found TW to be the friendliest place I've ever lived in. A lot of people on our road probably have more money than us (we both work full time in finance roles to afford the mortgage) but they've been nothing but welcoming. We moved here as we wanted to buy a house and it was cheaper than London, we commute to SE London so trains etc are handy. I'm so glad we did, best move we ever made. Kids are so happy at school and we have lots of really decent people who we can call friends who help each other out in big and small things. OP I'd recommend the St John's area for schools and also it's a little bit cheaper than the area around the pantiles.

I will say though, the roads are horrendous!

Interested to know if you actually live in TW @BotterMon as that's not been my experience. Our neighbours are absolutely wonderful and we've met some amazing friends (all a mix of locals, DFLs and others). Yes traffic can be unpleasant but honestly I think you'd struggle to find large towns without bad traffic in the south east these days.

I grew up in Tunbridge Wells, left for university, training in London and worked overseas for some years. I moved back here 20 years ago, possibly close to where you lived from your description OP - I love it here. Very friendly, the roads and parking might be bad but I don't drive. I commuted for some years and now work locally.

I would definitely recommend it although Tonbridge is also much nicer now than I recall it being in the past - was very much a commuter town and now has a huge community spirit and loads going on all the time. Schools in both towns are good.

No just work there as did DH and Dkids all went to school there both private and state and most of our friends live there.

I'm not a fan as you probably guessed! It used to be so much nicer.

@BotterMon fair enough! Different strokes and all that... nowhere is perfect after all and I think a lot of places have been affected by bad town planning, traffic and the death of the high st 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thank you all for your responses.

Are there other areas in T Wells to focus on for kids/families...I think I saw online that St James & St John's are worth looking at. I remember Pembury traffic being awful so I don't plan to look around there but I don't know much about St John's and St James.

Both St James and St John's are great for families with good schools, close to parks and lots of young families around. The area around St James' Park really go all out for Halloween and seems like there's a nice community feel. Pembury definitely feels like a separate place as it's out on a limb and yes the traffic coming into town that way is terrible. Hawkenbury is also supposed to be good for families but I don't know anyone who lives there.

Langton Green is really good for children and families. I'm dead centre in the village but lots of DD's friends were Langton based.

I’m also a DFL (although also from the north originally) who has recently moved to TW. We’re renting for a year. Since we moved our criteria for where we want to settle has changed quite a lot. I think it’s worth considering what your daily life is going to be like. The ‘village’ area around the station commands a huge premium, particularly if it’s in the Claremont primary school catchment. The street we live on feels very residential to the point that I could be in London, as parking is a pain and we have to seek out greenery. It’s nice and friendly though. We also need to drive our kids to their primary in the north of the town (no space at closer primaries). The traffic isn’t THAT bad if you avoid London road.
If you don’t need to be on the train very often you will get a lot more for your money in St John’s or further afield. Also depends on how old your kids are - we are keen for the boys to be able to walk to secondary school independently. But the really nice thing is that there is enough going on but also easy access to incredible nature, and if you fancy a change of scene, it’s easy to get to the seaside or central London.

We moved here 4.5 years ago from SE London (I'm a born n' bred Londoner so this transition felt huge!!), just before the start of Covid and it's been very isolating for me personally.. our baby was just about to turn 1 years and we didn't join a nursery or get out much due to covid for a year and half!

We live in a village, which is on the outskirts and it certainly doesn't have a cool, central feel.. more Little Britain tbh..

Saying that, I don't think we would move back to London as I wouldn't have a clue where, due to the cost of living, house prices etc., Hampstead or Notting Hill please :) (one can dream!!)

There are lovely things being here, the green space, proximity to coast etc., but I'm definitely a London girl and not a Kent gal.. I've found some people friendly, but mostly very cliquey.. the mum's are tricky to navigate, haha!

Also struggle with the pub food and coffee places being shocking in comparison to London, haha!!