Isolation after having a child

[Danii32]

Hi, Just joined here and thought i could share some worries and see if anyone can offer any advice and/or guidance. I'm pregnant with my first child, about 17weeks but I'm really worried about becoming isolated once baby arrives. The people i socialise with now aren't really 'coffee with me and the baby' kind of people so will no doubt drift away a bit. And my close friends live miles away. Any advice on how to meet new friends and still feel involved with life? Thanks

There are more of us in the same boat than you might think. Welcome aboard Danni!
I was in a similar situation becoming a mum for the first time at 45 when most of my friends' kids were off to uni or beyond. I tried the usual baby groups but hated it as it felt a bit contrived and organised.

Things eventually got easier, thanks in part to the following:

• People you hadnt expected to want to do the coffee with baby thing actually loving it
• Random conversations in places like Supermarket car parks, kids' section of local library, local parks where you get talking to a local mum
• Going to places like Pop Up Play Cafes, petting farm with your DC and meeting other mums their by accident when your DC start playing
• Posting on MN (met an awesome mum via MN who lives just a few minutes away!)
• Voluntary work (literally an hour a week, but it helped)

-Being open about your situation. You'll be amazed at how many others say 'me too'.

Thank you for your post! It's lovely to hear other people are/were in the same boat although it's a horrible feeling. My friendship groups have changed so much over the years due to moving, relationships ending etc so I'm used to finding new circles, but with a baby, it's seems very different x

Ask your midwife if your local healthcare trust does antenatal classes. Ours did a couple of afternoon sessions, like a super distilled nct course. We didn't actually have time to chat during the sessions , but we all scribbled down our numbers and someone set up a WhatsApp. There's about 12 of us and it's been so helpful having a bunch of mums who all have babies the same age

There's also an app called mush which I'd like tinder for mum friends, you can search for people local to you

I know it doesn't work out for everyone but we did NCT and I was the best money I've ever spent. Close friends with all of them and we regular meet up two and a half years later, when on mat leave I probably saw someone from the group 2/3 times a week

Thank you for your replies, it sounds as though there are lots of options. I spoke to my midwife today too and she gave me details of a couple of groups that I could join :) x

Hey hun. I just saw this post. Let Vingi to the area in next couple of weeks with two kiddliwinks and know very little people so I’d be happy tO get together for a virgin cocktail and find some friends together!

Give baby groups a go. Some people don't get on with them but lots do. The local one to me was a life saver for me.

I just became a new first time mum is Sept.
I'm all back on my feet now due to csection recovery so went to the first group - I exchanged a few sentences but it was a bit hectic today so maybe next week will get better and better as the weeks go by.

Just know your not alone and I bet all mums feel like this at one point or another x

Do give it another go Mom, and try others too. Baby groups saved my sanity but not all are friendly.