becoming a first time mum and freaking out!

[littlemisspom]

Hi i am soon to be a first time mum in october and i am waking up at 3am most nights freaking out.

Im worried and unsure about the HV - what will she expect/house not clean or tidy enough?

House isn't ready - feel like 1step forward is two steps back!

and the big one... having a child here and not being cut out for it :/

Ive been fine till now but with 2 months to go I'm really stressing. I have limited judgemental family, most friends vanished when I fell pregnant and all I have his my fiancé to vent to and he responds with his own stresses.

Any advice would be great.

1. HV won't care about your house unless it is a health hazard. They'll care if it is ridiculously filthy but won't bat an eye if last night's dishes are lying around or if it's in need of redocoration.
2. Your baby will not start moving around until the new year at the earliest and will sleep in your room for a while. There is very little in your house that you need to get ready now.
3. There's not a lot you can do to prepare for a new baby. I'd never changed a nappy and had rarely even held a baby before mine arrived. We brought ds home from the hospital, popped him in the middle of the living room on the floor in his car seat and both just stared at each other thinking, "What do we do with him now." Feed, change nappy and cuddle is all that is required for the first months. I found the book What to Expect - the First Year to be really helpful.
4. Talk to your fiance now about how you will both deal with stress- e.g. if I say ... just leave me alone for 10 mins please. Agree that things may get stressful and you might say things in the heat of the moment but ee have to remember it is just the stress and we are strong together. It's so much easier to have that conversation now than when you're mid-argument.

Good luck. Ask your HV, mumsnet etc. about local help groups e.g. breastfeeding etc. if you want to get out and meet people. Libraries usually have baby groups.