Schools for extremely sensitive girls

[CambridgeType]

Hi, my dd is ending y5 and we are looking into schools (including private schools) for a y7 start in 2018. My son may get a place at King's Ely but we are sure if that is the right school for my dd. She is EXTREMELY sensitive, socially mature and aware, compassionate and completely not sporty or competitive. She has much better resilience and confidence now that she's had some therapy, but she's still quite a delicate soul. I think we need a school with excellent pastoral care and I'm wondering if anyone has relevant experience to share. I don't know what I think about single sex schools. We are Christian but not fundamentalist or creationist so keen to avoid that.

That should say NOT sure Kings is the right place for my dd!

Have you heard of Sancton wood - Independant school in Cambridge city, they have very small class sizes (15 max I think) but I believe what they excel in is pastoral care, there's a good chance there would be some spaces available as they are currently expanding to two form entry.

Would St Bede's work for her? A friend from church teaches there and I'm very impressed with both him and what he says about its ethos.

Thanks, both. I have signed up for ALL the open days, including both of these.

I just wonder if anyone has a child like mine that they have sent to a Cambs school they were happy with!

My boys are at kings ely and certainly in their year groups there are sensitive children alongside the more outwardly robust ones. The pastoral side of things is what we have enjoyed most about it.

What about looking at St Mary's? It is the only girls' school but it does have a catholic ethos if that matters to you.

Our friends with children at the Heritage School are very happy with it.

Thanks so so much, everyone. It is good to hear all these experiences!

I've hard good things about St Mary's, Sancton Wood, St Johns, Stephen Perse, Heritage on the pastoral side. St Faith's trumpets their pastoral care efforts but when we were there (left 2015) it was truly rubbish. Sport is dominant and there were some very inclusive sports personnel on the plus side.

St Bede's has a good reputation as does Comberton, Impington and Sawston.

Many thanks! I think we had discounted St Faiths since it only goes up to 13 anyway. But good to know about the others too. St Bedes is definitely an option but we are right on the edge of where catchment came last year. :(

St Bede's does have a very good reputation for this kind of thing. Might be worth having a special chat with them in advance of an application.

Friends with similar daughter were very happy with Sancton Wood, then local village college 6th form. Moved her to SW after local primary not working out. Daughter starting at Cambridge in the autumn...

Thank you so much both.

I would be careful about St Mary's.
My DC go to a different school, but my DD has a new girl in her class (y9) who transferred out of St Mary's due to extreme bullying from other girls in her year. She suffers from anxiety and an eating disorder.

I know people whose DC have gone to Sancton Wood and Heritage and have loved it. Heritage a bit harder to get to as right in the centre, but classes are small. I think the school is populated across all year groups now.

Thanks, both. She is not keen on the idea of a girls school anyway, so probably won't be opting for St Mary's. Thanks.

Another idea. Impington Village College has special support for kids with a wide variety of SEN and emotional issues, and a small unit within the school for people to retreat to if they find the wider school environment a bit too much. Just a thought. They are one of the best schools for this kind of thing for miles.

Sancton Wood has a long-standing and excellent reputation for being very good in such circumstances. I know a lot of people who have moved their children there from both state and private when they have encountered difficulties with schooling of various kinds, and I've heard nothing but good things about their care.

Yes I would think carefully about SM due to the bullying issues.

Just in case anyone is still looking at this in real time. My 2 dds had terrible bullying problems...in years 7 and 8 and 9 at Friends. In the aftermath of the announcement of Friend's closure my 2 dds chose st mary's specifically because they were most confident it would not have bullies. I let them decide because they had so many changes in their lives.
THey got in and could have gone to any place that had spaces at that time that we knew of - Feldsted, Stephen Perse, Bishops' Stortford College, the interational school.....I have found the pastoral care excellent at St Mary's. My kids are agnostic at best. Their views are supported, even welcome, though Religion is a required GCSE. There are services (mass) and other Catholic elements, but its the best of Catholicism concentrating on the kindness and empathy of Saint Mary. It's very pro girl power good it's right in Cambridge (not like boys are right there, just at arm's length). They (admin, tutors, head) deal with girl issues all the time. They are so sensitive to it all. Please consider sensitive daughters going there! Of course kids can be mean everywhere. But at St. Mary's they really really care. At it doens't hurt for girls to have a few years away from the boys in upper grades anyway.

I have a son at Sancton Wood. A great school. But it's quite chaotic and there is such a diverse community. My sensitive son (year 7) is not doing well there. Perhaps if we lived in Cambridge it could be better. He gets bullied on the way to school from the train and on the train a bit. Teased by boys from Stephen Perse. The school cares very much, and I'm sure for the lower grades it's wonderful. But it's difficult with such a diverse population in such an urban environment to cater to all. At the upper levels there are so many classes and teachers (just how it is in UK), they can't all get on board or know what is going on.

On the general point of bullying and pastoral care, I would echo mastertomsmum regarding St Faith’s. DD is in Year 2 and is happy now but had a very tricky Year 1. Really felt the school weren’t at all supportive or interested - they only began to act when we complained loudly and over many months. They just want to make sure any problems are kept very quiet, to keep their waiting list nice and long I guess! Similar story from a friend who moved her daughter out at Year 6 following months of bullying. Another parent I know has DD aged 17 at Stephen Perse having an awful time in what sounds like a v. pressured, academic-focused environment. She is being bullied by other girls for being ‘thick’. School are apparently not doing much. It is so hard to know which schools really do provide a caring environment - sadly, often you can't be sure until you’re signed up and in.

Parkside is a small school with excellent Pastoral care, but it is over suscribed.

I should add that the St Bede's criteria go - sibling, church attendance regularity, proximity. For the last 2 years they have not got to criteria 3 and on criteria 2 some people we know who had regular attendance but were neither c of e or catholic didn't get a place.