Hello, thanks for hijacking, this has been the topic of my month. I come back with my own stream of consciousness :)
I and all the other parents I know are feeling anxious about the schools we chose or didn't choose first.
Except for those with siblings in their chosen school, for them the decision has already been made a long time ago. In that respect I have friends at Matthew Arnold, Bartholomew and Cherwell who are all very pleased with their children's progress and happiness.
I concluded that our problem in Oxford is that we are spoilt for choice. Whatever your choice/allocation your son will likely do well, especially if he is keen on a subject already. And his success most likely hinges on his home life and friendships, the latter is really pot luck wherever you go.
For mixed ability classes, I have various thoughts, if your DS is talented and doing well already chances are he'll be in the top of his subject class and will be nurtured to exceed and depending on your child's personality it could help his confidence and subsequently his success by being at the top,
It's a good place to be although the perceived risk here is your DS not being challenged enough. It is my belief that our DC's success will largely depend on their friend group and hang onto the hope that if they are smart, they'll likely hang out with smart people and they will strive together.
I wonder if the risk is greater for the child that isn't doing well than the child that is. My youngest is an undiagnosed ADHD and the youngest in her year, she struggles emotionally from being middle in the class with the top being seemingly unattainable. She could feel more relaxed being with people working at her level but she most likely wouldn't strive so hard.
Interesting about your guide, our guide was not brilliant. He kept getting lost :-D MA did feel more cramped compared to B which was more spread out. But the ceilings were higher, giving a feeling of space to MA.
I think if we didn't live right next door to MA would would have seriously considered B first. For us there was not a significant enough difference and we weren't in control of what we felt were the true success influencers (friendships/teachers) to choose a school further away.
Incidentally we went to the MA fireworks night, in an attempt to immerse ourself, and hopefully not recoil in horror at our first choice and was pleased that they had a fantastic live band (kids from the school) and a great atmosphere, children dancing with parents, the energy and laughter as people poured out of the school at the end of the night, filled me with reassurance for our choice.
But a day doesn't go by where I and my close friends don't worry about it because we all want our child to succeed and put so much weight and stress on our decision for fear of having made an incorrect decision that will impact our child's life.
When I think about my own school, and what a hole it was and how well we all did despite of that. I take a step back and relax.
That success was based on finding myself in a great friendship circle and having a good homelife. I am meeting a friend later to talk about her experience of MA as she has a son there.
I'll update this post with more info then.
I should add that we looked at private schools too. I do believe she would definitely have done better academically in a private school but I'm not sure about her having a good grounding life experience there.
Whatever your choice, allocation. I would just rest assured that (easier said than done) they are all good schools and I'm sure your DS will strive and achieve wherever he goes.