Mixed Race girl age 13

[polpringle]

I'm not sure if anyone can help or advise but, my daughter is 13 and so mixed up she feels she doesn't belong as a black person or a white person.
I got pregnant with her and left her father and then went on to meet my husband who is white I met him when I was 12weeks pregnant so he is Dad and they idolise each other.we went on to have 2 other daughters. We told her she was mixed race when she was 10 and we tried to contact her "father" but we had no reply and life went on. She got picked on at school for being different mainly by older kids rather than her peers. In July we contacted her "father" again and he replied and said he would meet her but only if I was there. She didn't want me there as it was about her and him not me, which I understood. There were plenty of family members and friends who offered to take her but he refused. She sent him a txt message explaining that she just wanted some questions about her heritage answered and nothing more. He never replied!! Since then my DD has become very inverted and developed Anorexia. We live in a village where there are no ethnic minorities. She is very shy but would really like someone to talk to who understands what she is going through. Are there any groups/youth clubs or anyone with a child that would mentor her as an pen pal?
Thoughts greatly appreciated x

Oh your poor did, it's such an emotional age as well. Have you asked school if they can help or refer you to organisations? I'm nowhere near you so can't help but wanted to help bump your post up and know that someone out there cares. Sounds like she has a very supportive and loving family which will benefit her. Take care x

Thank you. School have been really good as have our GP but all the organisations have such long waiting lists. We have taken her to see someone who can build her confidence (a life coach) but she doesn't understand although she teaches her to look at things more positively

My dd is twelve now but when she was nine she had some similar issues. Her school hosted an African drumming workshop and I think it just hit her that she wasn't white. She became a bit confused about it all.

Can you start taking her out to your nearest city so she can at least see other people that are similar to her.

I've always been very careful to promote that side of her heritage as although dh is here he couldn't give a hoot about it himself. He doesn't see it as an issue. Well, more he does see it as an issue but he's accepting that he will be treated differently etc.

My dd follows this girl on YouTube.

Thank you Savoy cabbage. The link is really good as she has been having a weave for the last 12m and this weekend she is taking the plunge to have it taken out x

You have posted this on a Bristol thread so do you live nearby? If so maybe you could make more trips in to Bristol where race isn't an issue; every colour of skin here! My kids are mixed asian and have only ever had positive experiences, my daughter likes that she is a bit different to some of her friends, it makes her more 'exotic'. But then I guess we are lucky in that we are surrounded by different colour skins. Could she maybe join an afterschool club here in Bristol?