Hi Wannabe
[I'm going to assume you are not a journalist writing a story about the OFSTED 'ghetto' comment. If you are, please don't quote people without their permission...
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Island is lovely for primary age. My kids are not at secondary age yet but we are already thinking of either private (Ryde has the best private school on the island), possibly sending them to the mainland when they're older (Brockenhurst - commutable from Yarmouth - is popular with some island children for sixth form), or if all else fails moving back. We would much rather stay here though!
For mainland commuting you need to be Ryde or Cowes (or very nearby, St Helen's/Gurnard etc). It is possible to get an annual carparking ticket in Southampton so you could leave a car there and come over a couple of times a week. Lots of people (DHs in particular) do something similar - quite a few mums on their own during the week. you would want a car here too though - 2 cheaper cars much better than one smart one (rural roads for starters!). Bringing cars over regulalry will add up - the ferry costs have risen a huge amount since we moved here 8 years ago.
I cannot remember the last time we had nothing to do. Summer is insanely busy - we're in Cowes so kids have been doing loads of interactive stuff, tonight there's the Red Arrows, huge fireworks display tonight. Earlier this week we went to see a Beatrix Potter theatre adaptation at Ventnor Botanical Gardens. Lots of my friends took their kids to the historical re-enactment at Carisbrooke Castle.
We have annual tickets to lots of things like Robin Hill and Tapnell Farm and struggle to find enough free weekends to use them - during the summer we are on the beach, the rest of the time we are out on bikes or scooters or in the park. Soon the kids will be old enough to add in sailing or Sea Scouts or similar and we'll have even more stuff to fit in. There are numerous dance and theatre companies teaching kids, most island kids I know learn to swim.
During the winter we go to see Santa on the Steam Railway, go to Tapnell Farm's indoor play barns, Victorian Christmas at Osbourne House, lots of fireworks displays on November 5 etc. It is a bit more of a struggle to fill than long lazy beach days, but make sure you have some decent wellies and waterproofs and there is still lots to do. We also use the winter months to go and see friends, trips to London for hte museums etc. Then in summer they all want to come down here and see us but really the beach!
Main thing really is to get involved with the community. it's a very small world down here so can be very friendly.