Have you ever thought about being a Foster Carer?

[Mertonfostering]

Hello, my name is Chloe and I work in the fostering department at the London Borough of Merton. I am really interested to know if anyone has any questions about fostering?

Is there anything that would put you off from becomming a foster carer or any issues that would concern you? Maybe you have some questions around the assessment process, payments & allowances, support & training etc.

Feel free to ask away, I am here for 2 weeks and will endeavour to respond to anyone as quickly as possible!

Thanks!

Hi Chloe

It's not really something we've ever considered as a family.

What is the process for being accepted for fostering? And what are the criteria (personal and in terms of one's household) for being accepted.

Sure I've read somewhere that a foster child has to have their own room. Is that correct? Possibly in Merton a lot of families simply don't live in large enough properties to do it (know many families living in two bedroom flats/maisonettes with a boy and a girl sharing a bedroom).

And do you have many foster parents where both work? Is that even allowed?

I am a single mum in full time work, would that rule me out completely for fostering? It has been something I have thought of before, my older daughter is now nearly 22, and we would have liked to have done it when she was younger, but we weren't in a suitable position then, and am now also concerned I might be out of the acceptable age bracket

Thanks to both posters for your thoughts and comments. Foster carers come from all walks of life but the main criteria for the approval process is that one carer (if you are applying as a couple) is available during the day, you have a spare bedroom, childcare experience (this can include raising your own children) lots of energy, enthusiasm!

With regards to working and fostering, this is possible. However the children in your care and yourselves are likely to have a lot of meetings. There may be regular contact with the child's birth parents, if you have a baby in your care, contact with their birth parents can be up to 4 times a week, there will be meetings with your social worker, the child's social worker, health appointments etc. So a flexible part time job during school hours may not be an issue but with a lot of cases you sometimes have to drop everything to be there for a child. That's why a strong support network is so important and if you do have a flexible job we will take into consideration any family or friends that live close by that you can depend on.

Foster children do have to have thier own bedroom which is why having a spare bedroom is an essential criteria. If you have a large bedroom it is possible to have a sibling pair of the same gender and similar age.

There is no age limit to fostering. We just ask that you are fit and healthy and have enough energy it takes to look after a child!

What type of training and continued support is available to foster carers? It seems like a tough gig. It must be emotionally very demanding.

How on earth do you know if you and your family would have the resilience and what it takes to undertake this role?

I have indeed considered being a Foster Carer and attended a meeting organised by Haringey council when I lived there as I wanted to become a fotser parent. What suprised and indeed annoyed me was how difficult it was to become a fosterer. The amount of hoops you have to jump though is ridiculous yet anyone can become a parent no matter how unfit they are for the purpose. Remember this is the same Haringey that is well known throughout the world for the Baby P scandal as well as Victoria Climbie. It is no suprise to me that there is a shortage of foster parents so my question is when is the whole fostering scheme going to be looked at to make it easier for people?

Perhaps I could rephrase that ;-) What are the criteria apart from a CRB check that potential Fosterers have to go through?

A lot of people don't have a 'support network'. People live away from family a lot nowadays. That's cutting out a whole swathe of society that could possibly be wonderful foster parents.

Hi All,
With regards to training, you will undertake a 5 day 'Preparation Training' course which gives you the skills and understanding of taking on a child in care. Once you are approved there is continued training available to you. You will be expected to take a minimum of 6 training courses a year from anything from 'dealing with challenging behaviour to 'record keeping'. You can attend as many training courses as you like to further your skills and experience as a foster carer.

With regards to support, once you are approved, you will have a dedicated social worker who will be your main point of contact. There is always a social worker on duty 24 hours a day, 365 days a year so there will never be a moment when you wouldn't be able to get hold of someone. Your social worker will meet with you regularly to discuss any issues or concerns and you. It's important to note that you will be taking care of this child as part of a team of people working towards a positive outcome for the young person so you should never feel that you are on your own.

It can be emotionally very demanding HaydonWomble, we hope that the training prepares you for challenging circumstances but the emotional side of fostering is something our current foster carers say gets easier over time and with each child they have in placement. The most rewarding aspect they say is seeing a change in the child and the child leaving its placement with you in a better place. Knowing if you are prepared for such a role is usually tested during prep training. Some people drop out saying it's not for them and many people finish the training, excited and prepared for the job.

Twistedblister - the process of becoming a foster carer can at times be frustraing and intrusive. There are numerous checks including CRB, health, finance, housing and employment. We ask for personal references and employment references. All these checks and assessments ensure that the home in which we are placing a vulnerable child is safe and secure. They also protect you, for example we will need to ensure you are financially secure so that when you don't have a child in placement you can afford to live (you only get paid when you have a child in placement).

Thanks for the answers, Chloe.

We're factored out on not having a spare bedroom, I'm afraid to say (and I suspect many other people in Merton will be for the same reason!).

Why is it that foster children have to have their own bedroom BTW?

And just out of interest, do foster carers have any say over the type of foster placements they are available for?

Is there an age limit on Fostering? For the Fosterers that is?

The bedroom issue puts us out of the running too, that is until DC get their own places, which at the moment will be 2050

We haven't fostered since I became pregnant with dc1 as it wasn't practical but it was a great experience. We wouldn't be able to foster again for a few years but is there a different process for getting back into fostering as opposed to applying the first time over? We would be living in Merton but we last fostered in Oxford.

Hi All, sorry for the delay. Twistedblister, not having a spare bedroom rules a lot of people out from fostering unfortunately. However a baby under the age of 2 can share a room with his/her carer. A foster child having his/her own room is of paramount importance. If you imagine a child has just been removed from its parents and taken to a strange home which they have to share with strangers; their own bedroom needs to be their sanctuary. In what will be the most turbulent and unsettling time of their live, their own bedroom enables the child to maintain their identity, their sense of safety and security and it recognises their own space. It also protects your birth children from any challenging behaviour the foster child might exhibit and eliminates any potential power struggles which may occur when sharing a room with another child.

Siblings can share a bedroom if they are the same gender and of a similar age.

With regards to types of foster placements, you will have the overall say on the type of placement. At Merton, we would aim to approve you to take on children 0-18 and then you would state your preference. This means that if your situation changes and you wish to change your preference we would not need to approve you all over again.

There is no age limit at such, however you will need to be fit, well and have enough energy to look after a child!

DMalaprop, we get a lot of people coming over from agencies or having fostered some time ago. The process is no different from if you were new to fostering however the process should be quicker having completed the assessment process previously with Oxford should take no more than 4 months.

Chloe

Thanks for the answers to the questions! Another one is about foster parents fostering children of different cultural heritage. What's Merton's policy on this one?

It sounds like a tremendous commitment and intense process. What are the personal qualities you are looking for in a good foster carer/foster family? do you find birth children generally accept foster children without too much difficulty? Do yuo think having other children in the family/foster home helps the children to settle in?

Hi All,
Willemdefoeismine - at Merton, we will always find the most suitable match for a foster placement based on age, ethnicity and culture. It is very important for a child to be placed in a home that understands the needs of children from different cultural backgrounds and if a perfect match cannot be made then all efforts will be made to place a child with a family that can understand and help maintain religious and cultural beliefs.

TortorSW17 - Foster carers come from all walks of life but the main criteria for the approval process is that one carer (if you are applying as a couple) is available during the day, you have a spare bedroom, childcare experience (this can include raising your own children) lots of energy, enthusiasm, patience and understanding. Another good quality is the ability to see things from another point of view, especially if there is contact with the birth parents and negotiation is a key quality when looking after teenagers!

We tend to place children younger than your eldest birth child and not the same age as its important your birth children have the space to 'act their age' without anyone else competing for that space in the house.

Birth children generally enjoy the experience, as they are usually older they have the opportunity to act as a role model and it feels nice to have a younger person look up to them. Birth children are spoken to during the assessment process and it's imortant that you pursue your role as a foster family together and have every member on board with the journey. We have examples of birth children forming very close relationships with foster children who they stay in contact for years afterwards and we also have examples where a foster placement has broken down because of its impact on birth children. Your birth children will always come first and we will make every effort to ensure the that your family is the most suitable placement for a vulnerable child. We are actually celebrating the Sons & Daughters of foster families this month and saying 'thank you' to each and every one as their role in the family is an incredibly important one and one that should not be over-looked.

Yes having other children in the household can help a foster child to settle and our training demonstrates activites that help the settling in period especialy when you have birth children. It can be very confusing for a child having lived his/her life in a particular way to then join a family who do things a different way so our training prepares you for this.

I've often thought about it but I think the rules seem to rule so many people out - in most cases once their children are over 5 because of the cost of living in Merton, both parents work, and for the same reason with the cost of property spare rooms are rare. Maybe it gets easier once you are 50+ and some of your children have left home and you might be retired?
We do have a spare room but it's also used as my office for preparing lessons and for family visits, as our family all live away from us. We both work (I work 2 days a week, term time only, but it's not flexible as I'm a special needs teacher and can't just not turn up to teach) so although we have 3 children, love kids and would be happy to look after more we are not eligible :(