Help needed to make my 7yo daughter feel good after bullying

[courgetteDOTcom]

My Y3 daughter's arm was broken on Friday by a little boy at school. Long story short, it was two years of bullying coming to a head. One of the things that came out today was that the two boys involved have been calling her ugly. I don't believe any child is ugly, it's a word as horrible as it's meaning, but my daughter is far from it, she's very pretty and has such a lovely personality.

I want to do something for her to make her feel special and pretty again. I am hoping to arrange a mini-makeover and photo shoot for her. I have someone on the task of sourcing a photographer and need to find someone who can give her a little bit of pampering.

Her ARM broken? That's quite a serious safeguarding issue. What are the school going to do about the boys that hurt her? Are you keeping her at that school or moving her? It sounds like the school has some VERY severe procedural issues if they gave let it get to the point where a 7yo has her arm broken in what amounts to an assault (were the boys 7yo too? They won't even be criminally responsible. )

I think a photo shoot is excellent. Just lots and lots of reassurance and cuddles, she is the pretty one inside and out.

God, are YOU OK? This must really have shaken your sense of trust in the school, they were in loco parentis and didn't protect your DD. I'd be fuming in an ice cold legal way.

I'm just that a 7yo could have her arm broken at school by two boys, after 2 years of bullying.

Actually. No. I'm not. I wish I was. I have a DC that is giving counselling for PTSD after his Primary school ignored his systematic bullying by pupils and staff for his entire time there. And he was once injured so badly that he had concussion for two full weeks, and the hospital suspected a fractured skull (luckily it wasn't) and he was only 7yo then. Thread is probably still searchable. I try not to think back on that too much. That was over 5 years ago now.

Why are some schools so awful, why don't they care about these DC's.

Your DD will need lots of love, hugs and reassurance. And ice cream. Horse riding is good too - exercise combined with outdoors combined with horses DOES help them to clear the mind.

I said it was long story short lol it gets worse - and better.

It happened on Friday lunchtime, she was pushed over so hard that when she put her hands out her hand went back and touched her arm. She complained all day of being in pain, they didn't say anything when she was collected (she just brought a slip home) and home she said she was in pain so taken to A&E. Called the HT on her mobile and she didn't answer so text her, she sent a lovely text saying she was angry, it would be dealt with and to tell her that she was thinking about her.

She then text the class teacher and asked what happened to her, he said she was complaining her arm hurt but he looked and she was OK. Which made her angry and she replied "No she's not she's in hospital!" and gave him whatfor on it not being his job to diagnose she should have been sent to the office.

Yesterday morning she started off with my daughter, who went into great depth about what has happened over the last two years. The HT was slightly dubious about some of it, but didn't say it then. She called the two boys in, before she could say anything first said they'd made a pact that morning not to pick on her again. Second boy (one who pushed her) tried to act like he hadn't done anything, she asked if he pushed her over on Friday he said "which time?" he'd done it twice that day! So she interviewed the whole school (tiny school!) and found out that everyone in the school (children and adults) knew what was happening, everyone of her claims have been backed up. All of Y3 and Y5 saw it as they were both in the queue together at lunchtime and backed up that it wasn't an accident. She's horrified that the only people who didn't know were her and the deputy (who is totally in love with my daughter so it wouldn't have gone on if he knew - I mean that in a nice way, btw, it's sweet not creepy lol)

Boys are suspended, at least one waiting on anger management. The rest of the class were amazing helping her out with things and looking after her. She's a different child already. She's off today as she's been recast. She's not impressed they said she could choose any colour and they didn't have purple, she's had to have pink

At least they are doing something about it. The class teacher seems like a bastard idiot. You could get a purple Sharpie and draw stripes on her cast?

Yeah, they're being brilliant. The teacher is really upset as is the dinner lady who signed the accident slip. I think everyone knows they've let her down.

The person who did her today said she has to charge adults £1 to write on her cast then when she has it removed she has to split it with them and buy sweets. She's so straight that she's a little on this idea

Courgette, I'm so shocked this could happen - and how did the head not know what the rest of the school knew? Your poor little girl. Will rack my brains to find someone who can help with a makeover...

I think the head wants to know too! It's a tiny school, one class per year and they're not big classes. First time I took Mum to an assembly she said "is it just the infants?" Nope, this is the whole school. So everyone knows everyone and everything there, makes it good for the kids looking out for each other.

Oh I forgot to say, my dad picked my other daughter up 15 minutes later for her SALT appointment and they didn't even mention it to him.

Thank you I'm not sure where to start with finding someone so anything anyone can find would be gratefully received.

(BTW, you know who I am, BrumLE, we met at the MAC, a neighbour in a couple of senses - don't want to out myself on my main ID)

Hello!

I'll tweet a shout-out for sympathetic beauticians and see if that brings up some names…

How is your DD now? Was she okay going back to school?

Thank you!

She's a totally different child, like a weight has been lifted. The school have assigned her best friend to be her buddy and everyone is looking after her. She didn't go in yesterday because of having her cast done but my other daughter got an award in assembly so she went to that and everyone was coming up to her to ask how she is. I'm hoping she starts sleeping better now and doesn't get as emotional as she has been.

Thank goodness! Sounds like it's a huge relief to her that it's being acknowledged and dealt with at last. for you both!

I think so. She's very confused by it all, she is a genuinely nice person, she just doesn't get why people aren't nice. I'm surprised she wasn't asking if she could take sweets in for the boys, not to buy favour but because people just should be nice.

She's usually very secure too (which I think will help in this) we've had this thing since she was 2.5 and her sister was born. I said to her "got new baby now, don't love you any more" and she pushed me and said "Yes you do!" After the baby was born I said "I can't love four babies" so she said "Yes you can, you could love a million!" My mum does it with her now, she tells me " I haven't fed her today" to which my daughter will tell her she has and Mum says "No I don't, I'd have to love you to feed you and I don't even like you" and she tells her she does love her and does feed her. People think I'm mean but it's our humour style and you can see that when she tells you she's loved she feels good about herself. That's why the ugly stuff has really upset me, she's so confident and she knows she's beautiful ("why are you so beautiful?" "because my mummy made me" ) so they must have really got to her.

I'm glad she is feeling better in herself. Have you asked how the school are going to manage the situation when the boys' suspension ends? It would be wise to get plans in place in advance.

It did end and now they're back on it... Accidentally did something similar to another child