Nursery woes..

[Minimmusicmum]

I've just joined mums net,so Hello to the regulars! :)
I'm a soo side mum with a daughter at nursery full time and another little ( HUGE) bundle on the way.
I love the care my daughter receives at nursery and feel there's great communication from the girls in the room, sadly I don't feel there is good communication from the manager, any small issues have snowballed into stressful situations.
The most recent being that my wee girl was bitten three weeks ago and scratched yesterday ( both pretty bad ) by the same child in unprovoked attacks. I asked the manager for the procedures used to deal with these situations ( for my own reassurance ) but she's turned it into an attack on the girls in the room- which it really isn't.
Has any one else had similar situations with their nurseries?

PS my blue bundle is due on the 16th Sept so I'll be on Mat leave and free to socialise with other mums soon! :D

Hi, I work in a nursery so have been on the other side (having to explain to the parent their child has been hurt/bitten/scratched etc) I always deal with it quite discreetly and also in my nursery we have what is called "Accident/Incident" forms, in your daughters case, both your daughter and the child who hurt her would have an incident form. We fill these out with as much detail as possible, however we are NOT allowed to tell the parent which child it was who hurt their own child. This form is signed by a Senior member of staff and also the parent.
We fill out a form for the child who did the hurting and their parent has to sign this too so they are aware what their child has done. Again they are not allowed to know which child got hurt. I know children do tell their parents though! But we are NOT allowed to tell them ourselves.
IF for any reason the parent is not happy with any part of it then obviously they can talk to a Senior member of staff or the Manager. I know my Manager always takes every case really seriously. And tries their best with reassuring the parent. We have other behaviour procedures we go through as well to try and stop any "spiteful" behaviour.

I don't know why the manager took it as an attack on the other staff. Maybe she was just being defensive, or something else had happened that day/week so she was worried.

Sorry for the really long message!

Can't really add anything as ds went to a childminder, but thought I'd add my welcome.

On the two occasions ds was bitten (once at the childminder, once in P1) our reaction was "what was he doing to contribute to this happening" In the P1 incident, they were playing "monsters" in the playground and I'm sure it was just chance that he was the one that got the bite that "showed" The other child's mum was mortified though ('cos as Babystone says, children are not covered by "non-disclosure" ) - but we were ok about it.

Thanks for the replies ladies, it's good to hear the other side Baby stone, I am aware there are accident forms, that was clearly explained by the girls in the room but as it happened twice in a short period of time ( with- i think the same child ) I was looking for a bit of extra reassurance that the situation would be closely monitored ( Not just from my little ones point of view- tho that's my main concern, but the wee one that's lashing out may have upsets or issues and need help. )
Communication with the manager is, at best awkward.

On both occasions my wee one was sitting quietly in the sensory area minding her own business ( my first question too pretty bird was " was she fighting, what was she doing? " As I was worried she had provoked something ) . The fact that it happened in the same 'peaceful place' when she was minding her own business... And both times she backed away immediately makes me feel so hurt for her - am sure pregnancy hormones add to whatever cocktail of emotions I felt!

My main concern in all of this has been the managers response tho, she's a lovely pleasant person, but if you have any small querie she views it as a personal attack then talks at and over you. I find her defensive attitude difficult to deal with and would just love her to listen to concerns and then have a two way conversation, it's really put me off the nursery...Not the biting/scratching -know that's common place, (my own nephew was a biter- as the manager pointed out to me! ) the stresss that any communication with the manager brings.

I suppose what I'm asking advice about is, should I turn a blind eye to the communication difficulties I face with the manager as the girls in the nursery are so so good, or should we start thinking of a move- my husband's desperate to take her out as he's more frustrated than I am.

You can tell from the length of my email I'm a bit rattled... AND hormonal.... Only a few weeks to go till I meet my wee babba no2 :)

Are you able to have a bit more of a discussion with the girls in the room, since you seem to have confidence in them if not with the manager

If your dd is happy there and you like the actual people who look after her, it would be a shame to move her.

The other thing you could maybe do, if the manager talks over you, is write her an email or formal letter, outlining the concerns you've expressed here and asking what is being done.

Good idea pretty bird. We have a meeting with her on Friday, but are already dreading the miscommunication that we anticipate. I spoke with hubby there and we are going to draft a very short email with our concerns and send it prior to our meeting to hopefully make things more clear and simple.

I don't want to talk too much to the girls in the room as I don't want them to feel uncomfortable, I get the impression they can't say any more than they have.

Advice MUCH appreciated : D

The meeting is a good idea. You could always ask for another member of staff to be there i.e deputy manager or maybe your daughters Key person to hear how the manager deals with you/help get your point across.

Personally I would turn a blind eye if your daughter is still happy to go to that nursery, you like the nursery/ girls in the room

Obviously IF she is hurt again by another child, then take her out?