Starting a new life...

[Rachelhw1990]

Ok, where to begin...?
Basically I'm moving back to Edinburgh (it's my hometown) on the 1st of April with my son who was 5 in December. He isn't at school yet, but more about that in a minute. So hopefully, there may be someone out there would could help us make friends? You may think - making friends? That's simple, just go down the local park, get chatting, etc. But for me and my son it's never been that simple.
To begin with I was 16 when I had my son- and I look younger than I am (22 now) so people often actually make comments TO MY FACE "you don't look old enough". What? Would you care to see my stretchmarks. As you can tell I'm sick of the stigma of being a teenmum. And I also find it hard to talk to mum's who ARE friendly to me as I still occasionally feel inadequate. Which, I think, are some pretty solid reasons for my lack of friends (who are parents at least).
Now to my son.
He's seen paediatrics about a possible diagnosis or high-functioning Autism. He doesn't understand social boundaries. He finds it difficult to talk to people in context. He is very demanding. He cannot understand dangerous situations. And I'm sorry to say it, I have sometimes found his more extreme behaviour embarrassing and have felt like I didn't want to take him out the house.

On starting our new life I am DETERMINED not to slip into the habit of not talking to people and REALLY want my son to experience friendships as he's made such progress in the past 4 months (so have I).

So, now some positives about us, since all I've probably done prior to this not promoted how great my son actually is.
My son- is obsessed with numbers and puzzles. Loves finding out how things work. Enjoys music. Like any child he is crazy about running about, sometimes its been a little TOO far. He has an absolutely hysterical view on the world. He is polite and well mannered. He is intelligent and articulate about subjects which he enjoys.

Me? I'm just someone who has done so much to try and lose the 'teenmum' tag, but is slowly starting to realise it doesn't matter what age you are as long as you try your best.

We would love to meet a like-minded mum preferably with a child around the age of 4-6 nursery/Primary 1, just maybe for going to the park on a sunny day or any interesting activities.

Rach x

Oh, I forgot to add, I deferred my son's school entry for a year. That's why he isn't attending yet. This was to do with his behaviour at the start of summer last year- it was totally out of control.

Rach x

Welcome back to Edinburgh, my children are much older than your wee boy. But most people are pretty friendly in Edinburgh. Which area will you be moving to?

Hey there, thanks for the reply! I'm moving to Oxgangs but I'm originally from the North, so it's gonna be different. I haven't decided on a school yet, because of my son's difficulties I may have more of a choice, but I've heard some in the area have good ASN departements. Other than that I'm just gonna try to go to as many things that he'll find interesting and see who we meet. It's just really difficult sometimes if he's playing up and I get stressed- the amount of times we leave things is unbelievable. But- new starts don't happen a lot so we're going to make the most of it :)

if you get a diagnosis it's well worth joining Lothian Autistic Society, they have all sorts of social events. :)

DD is 5 and has fairly severe ASD but most of the children of people I have met there are high functioning or have AS.

Hey Rach. I was a teen Mum and then had my 2nd at 33 . Looking back I wish I hadn't felt so insecure, always wondering whether people liked me or felt sorry for me/judged me. Now I couldn't give a shit, but I remember the feeling well.

My friend's son has HFA and went to a primary which gave great support and is doing well in mainstream secondary now.

Also, try here www.kindred-scotland.org/

Hello Rach, I am really impressed by your positive attitude and wanting to do your best for your lovely son. If your son is not starting primary school just yet perhaps it would be good to get him into a state nursery school where he can learn social skills in a supportive and non judgemental environment. I think it is also important to have an official diagnosis as that will open the door to some support and also it is easier to explain your son's behaviour to teachers, others etc. Don't bother what people think of you, especially if your son is playing up, if they are judgemental it is due to their ignorance! Kindred and Lothain Autistic Society are good places to get info etc. Don't let fear of your son's behaviour stop you from going places and meeting people - that would stop you meeting people and prevent opportunities for social interaction for your son, be proud of yourself that you are doing your very best for your son and celebrate the differences of life!

Hi there, thank you for all the replies, I'll certainly check some of the local support out. Me and my son went to occasional Saturday morning groups for children like him, and I always felt accepted by the parents there, but it just wasn't frequent enough (twice a term).
I have brought my son's full records with me as the school gave me copies to let potential schools see so that they didn't have to request records- I was told they may only be able to do this once he's been given a place- so whichever school it may be will have a fair idea of difficulties and the measures that his previous nursery had in place when taking him onto the register.

After hearing your responses I already feel more positive about putting ourselves out there. I've been checking some 'what's on' websites around Edinburgh for family activities. Anyone got any particularly good sites they rely on? Most of the ones I have accessed seem to be strangely orientated to two or three 'big companies' who run things. I'd probably be looking for something a bit quieter to start with.
Failing that we'll be at Camera Obscura every Saturday- He loves it :)