Commuting to London

[Isabelle554]

(wow, first time posting on any forum so be gentle!)

We have a little girl who is one in a couple of days and I've now reached the point where I'm desperate to leave London, and we are seriously considering Brighton - I grew up here and my sister lives in hove so them appeal for me is obvious, but it would mean my partner having to commute into central London five days a week.

So my question is this - does anyone have any experience of this (positive or negative)? Is it too much to expect from him? I'm not sure I'd want to do it...

Thanks in advance...
Isabelle

I wouldn't want to do it but my DH does. He's been doing it 5 days a week for about a year and a half - it's a pain in the arse and it a long day for both of us - he leaves the house on average about 7am, and gets home on a good day at 7.30 - this means he has to finish 'early' to get back at that time. More often than not he's not back til 8.30-9.00. It's a shame because he can go for days without seeing the DCs but having said all that we are both still glad we made the move.
Where does your DH work in relation to Victoria or London Bridge? Would he have to get on the tube on the other end?

Hi migola - thanks for replying so quickly! He currently works at kings cross , but hopefully moving to near tottenham ct rd, neither of which are ideal. It is SUCH a hard decision...

Kings Cross would be better, you can get the Thameslink to St Pancras which isn't a short journey but is straightforward.

Only just seen this but wanted to chip in. DP and I both commute, me part time since having DD and we're happy with it, it is the price we pay for living where we want to and we love it here (and have family, which we wouldn't have if lived nearer work). So many people in Ldn have an hour's journey home, for an extra half hour or so you get to live by the sea and in a fantastic town 10 mins drive from the countryside.

I work off Tottenham Court Road and live a little over 5 mins from Hove station. It takes me an hour and 45 door to door in the morning, less in the afternoon but I've always told myself it's an hour and a half as I can live with that. When I worked full time I left the house at 7.30 a.m. and got back at 6.30 pm. doing your average 36 hour week. DP does emails on the train, I work at home some times, so if your DP can do this it helps. I used to stay the night in Ldn once a fortnight too to break it up (v social work life) but DP was never bothered about that.

The Thameslink to KX crawls thru Ldn and the changes for going to Hove don't line up so I don't get that, get the Victoria line 3 stops to Warren St, v quick (usually). My top tip is not living too far from the station at this end as the last thing you want is a long walk or bus ride or something once you've done that long part of the journey.

It takes about 6 weeks to get used to commuting a long way, you do have to be the kind of person who can do it - work / read / listen to podcasts on the train, develop zen-like acceptance of delays. At least on our journey you get a seat and have an hour to really get something done. I am now a writer thanks to mine

I hate the commute and am seriously thinking about moving back to London. dh commuted to start with and also hated it - he moved jobs.

for me it is always at least 1.45 hours even on fast trains (i have to change at Clapham junction, but don't need to go on the tube). the trains are often late and the time changing platforms adds up too. I just don't see my dcs enough.

Lots of people do love it though and being in Brighton makes it worthwhile. it doesn't for us I'm afraid.

I have been thinking about this further since my earlier negative post!

I think that if you love love love Brighton and have links here/feel that it would be a fantastic place to bring up children and are a patient type who doesn't hate commuting and the early starts then you are more likely to be willing to put up with the commute.

For us, we didn't know Brighton beforehand, so didn't have any history from it, and we didn't have a wide network of friends (we didn't know anyone in fact) . For us we feel that it isn't such an amazing place to bring up children that the sacrifices in terms of time away from the children are worth it. Schools aren't fantastic really, houses aren't much cheaper and our life is pretty much the same as it was. Just with 4 hours a day commuting on top. (that's not to say that Brighton is a horrible place to bring up children - it's not, our dcs are very happy there etc).

aargh getting into more confusion, but hopefully you see what I'm trying to say.

I think the OP has forgotten the thread so you don't need to worry! I was positive, you not = a balanced view for them.

There are so many personal variables, e.g. between us DP and I have 70 days annual leave a year, and I'm taking 2-3 weeks unpaid every summer til DD is 8 as that's a right at my work, so get to see her more than if in other jobs. And my Mum looks after DD a lot and will continue to do so, and they have a great relationship. Working locally, for me, would still mean at least an hour's travel a day, so for an extra 4 hours a week with DD, but many fewer days leave, not worth it.

As you say, you do have to like where you're living for it to be worth it.

HI we have jobs in Essex, but want to live in Brighton. We have friends and family in Brighton, but don't know anyone in Essex, so we want to commute, but wondering about the cost for 5 days a week travel to Essex from Brighton 5 days week, especially through the Dartford tunnel..