Sommer, Sonne und Hitze - living in Germany thread

[admylin]

'All welcome, Austria & Switzerland & any German-speaking Leute too'

Summer is here at last, now we can complain about it being too hot - when it isn't raining!

oops did not want any bold words...

It's not the Germans; the Austrians are into it as well.

Your DSIL will have to get used to people telling her that her DS is underdressed, he will catch a cold if he isn't wearing at least 5 layers (10 in winter) and may find people zipping up his coat for him or pointing out bare skin between socks (he should have tights on!) and trousers.

Despite the fact that I recklessly allow the DC to go without a hat/gloves/scarf/coat etc. if they feel warm enough, they are rarely ill. But if ever I point this out to anyone convinced that being underdressed will give you a cold, I'm told that my DC are "hardened" and used to it (i.e. they would never want to risk it with their own DC because they would catch a cold).

Think ur right about germans overdressing children esp babies!! But surely she's got her own mind and could ignore what the midwife says!!

"She mentioned that the midwife had told her to dress her ds (who is admittedly quite small at 2.4kg, he came 4 weeks early) in 2 vests, a babygrow and socks underneath"

poor kid but as a young mother or first-time mother of any age, you just odn't know what to do. I think in this weather just a nappy would do. I remember my midwife coming round after I was back out of hospital and she said we needed to get a little cotton hat ASAP to cover the skull. Apart from that, she didn't fuss about at all but that was autumn. I think the baby was totally overdressed with all that on. Maybe just a light cotton top and a nappy. If I am hot, the first thing I want off are sox

well he's her first and I think she's feeling quite insecure, particularly with him being a bit small and early . She's going along with everything her midwife tells her. Although there was evidently a seed of doubt in her mid as she remembers visiting us in the UK just after ds was born, and ds being dressed 'only' in a vest and babygrow, in the middle of winter.
The midwife also told her to not read the La Leche League breastfeeding book I'd sent her .

midwife sounds a bit of a nutter. Breast feeding is totally normal in Germany and you do it anywhere without being frowned at or hassled.

What kind of midwife is she?!

Yes, it's difficult as a first-time mother to ignore the midwife's advice and giving birth in a foreign country can be quite bewildering too. I didn't have a clue what I was supposed to be doing when we brought DD1 home from the hospital and didn't have the confidence to ignore advice until DD2.

But I do remember the midwife here telling me when DS was born (at the height of summer) to undress him down to his nappy when I was feeding him as "you wouldn't want to eat in the sauna; neither would he".

should clarify that dsil is German. She is breastfeeding - of sorts - with lots of hassle: nipple shields, bottles, dummies etc.

I did suggest (nicely) that the midwife might not be the fount of all knowledge.

I had the same thing, both my dc were born in Germany but when it was hot they were stripped off, basicalyl because I can't stand the heat either so I presumed my babies would be the same!

Never understood why other babies were dressed in loads of layers and alot of dc never seem to take their bonnets off until they are about 3 years old.

When i went back to the scottish borders though I was abit shocked at how little my nieces wore and they never had anything on their feet!

Sympathy to your sil, I also had to try nipple shields made of some sort of metal, then a midwife told me to put quark on them then I had silicon shields, extremely painfull feeding times until I gave up at 3 months. Wasn't worth the stress it was causing both of us.

i also didnt have a clue with my PFB dd but i think i'd have still been a little suspicious of any health professional trying to tell me to overheat my newborn baby!! especially if i could see it looked too warm! common sense and all that. but it is stiflingly hot in germany at the mo so think they are probably all hot/stressed/exhausted!

but with the breastfeeding - as a 1st time mum you listen to any advice that goes whether you're in germany or not! hope the next few days are better for her!

I'd completely forgotten about using quark - I had to keep sending DH out to buy it and had some in the freezer for ages afterwards. I still can't stand the smell of Topfen - too many literally painful memories!

I think my common sense went out the window with my PFB, canella!

Did it help you? It didn't help me - just made a mess!

Just spoken to another friendly person on the phone to order our new phone line at the new flat. I think Germany might be improving on it's customer service side, I keep coming accross such friendly people lately. Although all my bad experiences were in Baden Würtemberg - can never spell it properly (Schwabenland) so maybe that's why.

I think it did help, but I remember it being incredibly messy; I had to have cloths everywhere! And then I discovered some kind of cooling gel pads at Boots that you kept in the fridge - just as effective and far less messy.

It's good that customer service is finally improving. The only bad experience I've had here was in a cafe that I used to go regularly with a German friend and our DC. The waitress came up to us one time and said she'd spent 15 minutes clearing up after our last visit, and we were brought a dustpan and brush with our bill! My friend was saying how typical it was of Austria; I asked her if that kind of thing never happened in Germany and she said not to that extent. I was tempted to tell her I'd experienced far worse in Germany on many occasions (I think I did tell her actually...).

lol at the brush and pan. Can so imagine it.

I missed the quarking your breasts thing. Thankfully. No idea I was supposed to be doing that. And what, please, are nipple shields?

They're for protecting sore/cracked nipples, but I seem to remember being advised not to use them - can't remember why now, though. Quark is supposed to help if you get a blocked duct.

You must also be v. careful not to let your breasts get cold or you will get mastitis. My MIL did so when she went out in a thin top. I managed to get mastitis with DD2 and was told by a nurse that I had probably been in a draught when getting out of the shower (in July) and I should make sure I had a towel to hand. (To be fair to the Austrian medical profession, the nurse I saw a week later told me this was nonsense.)

The idea of quarky breasts - I believe there are websites for that kind of thing... In Ireland, the mw asked me did I have some cabbage leaves on standby - following my look she explained that they were just the thing for engorged breasts.

If I'm ever fed a dish made of quark and cabbage leaves, I'll know that someone was expecting problems and didn't have them after all!!

We are having lots of leider keine Plaetze emails back from the schools. I read that all children in Germany have to go school from age 6, so presumably if we have that obligation, then some school somewhere must be obliged to take pupils on...?

which schools are you contacting - regular German ones, Europa? You need to call and speak directly to the head if you can, bypass the secretarial staff...

if you can tell me where you'll be working or living, I can have a think.

quark and cabbage OMG

your problem may be honesty, come to think of it. Have you mentioned it is a short stay? Tbh I would not. Once you are registered with the Buergeramt as living at a certain address, the zoned school has to take your kids. If they absolutely cannot (which I doubt), they will allocate the next nearest school.

hmmm, interesting - I always was honest to a fault!!

DP will be at the Freie U, but not on a daily 9-5 basis (it's a research trip and he's not a scientist!), so we can be pretty flexible and were really looking to see where would be nice and where dd1 could go to school and perhaps dd2 to a kiga (she's only 3 so it's not necessary, just more that she's very used to nursery here and loves it, and I think might be a bit bored with me all the time, and also it might be nice to let her have some German exposure too). DD1 is the "issue" tho - if she has to go somewhere, we'd like it to be somewhere that is (a) not too overwhelming for her with no German and (b) that is nice and welcoming and actually wants her, iyswim, rather than an irritating non German speaker being foisted on a school.

We had started with Blauer Engel's recommendations, and then looked on further at what the neinsagers were suggesting.

I don't know what she has told you about schools so don' t want to just repeat it.

There is a Montessori bilingual kiga in Zehlendorf which might be nice for your youngest if you are planning on living SW (Dahlem, Zehlendorf, maybe Kleinmachnow, possibly even Babelsberg might be nice)

I suppose she told you about the JFK Am-German school whihc might not take you since you are not American and they tend to fill up year 1 so coming in late is tricky unless English speakers leave and they prefer to have American families. Then there is the Quentin Blake state Euopa-school bilingual in Engl and Gemran and located quite near that MOntessori Kindergarten.

There is a Phorms in Zehlendorf. I can't recommend it, no idea at all. Essentially it is a non particularly expensive private school German-English but they have no real established grounds, new set-up. Not sure about that.

Local schools in Dahlem/Zehlendorf should be ok if you want the purely German route. I agree though too short for your dc to learn enough GErman to participate really and they will not get much extra help.

Ther is also the Nelson Mandela State International school in Wilmersdorf which might work but it is a pain driving about town to get there at 8.

If you can wangle it , I'd recommend probably the JFK school, call directly the head of the American elementary school section. If you google JFKS Berlin, the school site would come up.

BBIS just outside Berlin in Kleinmachnow is convenient and has nice facilities. Expensive. Not sure about it.

BIS - 3 families I know personally had problems with this which may in the meantime have been resolved. You'd need to go round and investigate if it is really for you. I tink one embassy at one time was advising their incoming staff against it as a result of complaints but as I say, maybe that has been dealt with.

Hi, sorry - we started with the Quentin Blake and the Tom Sawyer Montessori (which I think is the Zehlendorf one you are talking about). The QB had no places. We then tried Berlin Mitte, which also had no places but suggested some others, which DP is in the process of emailing and getting answers back from. But as you say, it might be better to talk to principals direct.

Sorry if I'm being a bit thick, but what is BBIS and BIS - Berlin Internationale Schule and something with an extra B?

The Nelson Mandela one seemed to positively dicriminate towards "hochmobil" families, so I wondered if they might be more sympathetic - hopefully will get an answer soon.