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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

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Original poster

Expats recently returned to the UK - Regrets or relief to be home?

19 replies

gotmunchies · 03/06/2010 21:19

I think I speak for a lot of us MNetters on the Living Overseas section who constantly wonder how it would feel to be back 'home' but worry about the 'grass is greener' idea. Life abroad can be great but there does seem to be sadness about being away from family/friends and the place I grew up, and nostalgia overtakes me sometimes! That said, I know England certainly has changed a lot. So is there anyone out there who has moved back, especially if it was on their initiation, and how are you feeling?
Thanks for sharing!

OP posts:

Original poster

gotmunchies · 03/06/2010 21:21

PS ! I'm assuming those moved back still read the Living Overseas?!!

OP posts:

castille · 03/06/2010 21:30

We moved back for a few years because I was horribly homesick when the DDs were little. DH found it an interesting but stressful experience (he is French). I loved it. Life was suddenly SO much easier, and it was great to see family nearly every day.

It was hard to move away again, but now that the DC are older and we are more settled, I'm not sure I would want to do it again, at least not for the time being.

redflipflops · 03/06/2010 22:47

Hello gotmunchies

We were wondering this on the Living in America thread if other expats or former expats had any experiences of returning to UK to share.... How was it go 'home'???

kickassangel · 04/06/2010 03:49

bump, in an attempt to reach a wider variety of timezones.

i'd love to know about people living in Oz - dh is interested in moving there, but it's just too far away for me - i like that i can get home in less than 12 hours (including car journey, check in etc)

Original poster

gotmunchies · 04/06/2010 05:27

Hi kickassangel

we were in Oz a few months ago for a wedding...it's lovely, but I said to DH it just seems SO FAR AWAY!!!! Love Sydney, but just don't think i could live there because of distance from family, door to door from west coast USA to London is nearly a day of travel, that seems bad enough!!...so exhausting with DC's [tired face if we had one].

OK, going away from subject....any expats who have returned to UK...? How are you feeling?

OP posts:

Original poster

gotmunchies · 06/06/2010 17:45

ANYONE???? Where are all you recently returned expats (seemingly not on the thread?)

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nocluemum · 08/06/2010 07:51

We moved back from Oman nearly 2 years ago and I still miss it. Living in the middle east is so much easier than this country. What with a maid and great (albeit hot) weather all the time your mental frame of mind is so much better (she types having woken up to rain this morning). Would go back in a shot

admylin · 08/06/2010 08:08

I went back last year but only lasted a few months as I quickly saw that the reality of living there doesn't compare with the few weeks holiday we used to have there.

People, family especially went about their daily work and din't have the same time that they made an effort to show when we were just visiting. Every act of babysitting by my parents was chalked up as a 'you owe me one too' by my sister. It was quite a shock for me and I came running back abroad!

The cost of living was enormous compared to over here too and the dc found it hard to adjust to not being allowed the usual junk and treats that I used to give into because we were on holiday.

There definately is a grass is greener syndrome among expats and I think you have to make the best of what you've got and not constantly think of what it might be like to move back home.

steph53 · 08/06/2010 11:08

Just back in the UK after being overseas for 12 years - gosh its changed, but so have we. Left with one child now have three. Missing everything that was familiar including the weather.
Only been back 2 months so still feeling a little shell shocked but the children have settled into school and life here. Mum will catch up!!!

whiteflame · 08/06/2010 19:33

I moved back to the UK for a few years once, and I think surreal would be the best way to describe how I felt about it. I pictured myself going back to my old life, and just sort of belonging. It didn't work like that - I always felt like an outsider and was seen as the person from a different place.

Looking back I think it was a mistake to look at it as moving 'back', because you can never go back. Perhaps if I'd thought of it as moving to a new place (which it was, in terms of friendships moving on etc), I would have found it easier.

SatinandTat · 08/06/2010 20:08

I moved back to the UK after two years in the USA about ten years ago. I always knew that it was a short term stay and we would be coming back to the US after our visa issues had been sorted. Well, I loved it. It may have been the particular point in my life (children were that wonderful toddler age) or where I lived (didn't move "back" but moved to a new town) or that I found the perfect house with great neighbours. However, the cost of living was horrendous! I also didn't appreciate the general dumbing down of society. Even though we lived in a very lovely part of the country our local playground was rarely without vile graffiti and broken glass - people just seemed to tolerate it. I could go on to mention the prevalence of nasty language, crude magazines at eyelevel, excessive drinking in public but I will probably end up sounding like Mary Whitehouse. I did very quickly become immune to all the negatives though However overall I just felt like I was "home" - I was desperately sad to have to leave again. If we go back it will not be to the same town as I know that I will never be able to have that life back again.

QSincognitoErgoSum · 08/06/2010 20:11

I am Norwegian and my husband is Polish, we met in London, and lived there 17 years together. We moved to Norway 2 years ago, and I miss London and our life there terribly. We would go back, if the situation was different.

orienteerer · 09/06/2010 07:25

Moved back to the UK 2 years ago after 5 years in Austria. UK is obviously "home" and it is so much easier dealing with the problems of day to day life in English. However we'd go back to Austria like a shot if we could, really miss the quality of life, slower pace of life, better transport etc....need I add more.

mumoverseas · 09/06/2010 12:04

I'm in the ME and have been here for 4 1/2 years now despite saying I'd only stay for 2. The last few months I've been torn between returning 'home'. DC1 and 2 are back in the UK at boarding schools and DC3 and 4 are here with me. DC3 is due to start in F1 in September (assuming she passed her assessment which we find out about today!) and DC4 will start nursery then.

We were lucky enough to be offered a place at a nursery attached to the first school a few minutes walk from our UK house but took a gamble and turned it down a few weeks ago. I've changed my mind hundreds of times since whether that was the right thing to do. So hard knowing when the time is right to go as once we do return to the UK there will be no going back

scanty · 14/06/2010 23:21

moved back from Singapore last year after nearly 3 yrs there. We always knew it would be short term so maybe that helped. We had a great time there, huge house, live-in maid, private schools, club membership, about 4 hols a year, great social life. We were lucky as we made great friends straight away. But, quite happy at the moment to be home to my much smaller semi detached house, no maid, limited social life, state schools etc. Singapore was great, but the UK (if you live in a nice enough area) can be lovely, especially in the warmer months. Love the weather (apart form maybe 4 mths in winter), the stunning countryside, caravanning in Devon, country pubs, country fairs ect. Hausband desperate to move back to Asia and could be happening - totally mixed feelings. The whole upheaval could be starting all over again.

sanfairyann · 14/06/2010 23:32

we've been back 5 years now, moved to a new town so it was like moving anywhere really. agree about family - we hardly ever saw dh's family after we moved back so from that pov it wasn't worth it. but now we're totally settled and can't imagine (well almost!) uprooting now the kids are settled in school and got friends. it's hard when you've got kids and school to think about as well. we used to move round a lot and I'm not sure how long that lifestyle would have worked

chloeb2002 · 16/06/2010 21:11

I went back to the uk afetr 4 yesr in aus and was so truely blown away with the cost of living , lack of facilities for children... especially ones taht didnt cost an arm and a leg! and the lack of different foods! so i trained to be a nurse... married my wonderful husband and now we have been back in aus for 3 1/2 years.. lodged our PR and am in no hurry to go back to the uk!

DebInAustria · 18/06/2010 22:20

This has been good to read, if all goes well then we will be back in the UK in August after 5 years in Austria. I think we have decided to go back to a new area though

Fernie2 · 22/06/2010 23:26

moving back to uk after 14 years living abroad and feeling pretty apprehensive about it. feel it is the right thing to do for our family situation but for me personally i think it will be a big adjustment. It's not the same country i left all those years ago and am worried I will feel like an invisible foreigner ie everyone will expect me to fit in and be 'normal' but I will always know that I am different.

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