Living in America....... summer 2010!

[redflipflops]

So.... new thread.... please join me

introductions:

redflipflops - California (central Coast)

Oh! Solana Beach is lovely. We often make a trip up there to go to Clare's on Cedros for brunch (and to buy their amazing jam!). We moved here almost two years ago. The time has gone so fast! How about you?

Hi CarmenSanDiego
we have been here in SD one year but 5 years in the USA.

I like Clare's too, trendy little place.

I dare not moan about living in the here in San Diego, someone said to me the other day "well, if you don't like it here you won't like it anywhere" Bit harsh I thought.... it's still not home (birth country) though not sure where home is anymore

Are you happy here? This has been a very positive OP started by redflipflops....the other thread about missing the UK was quite sad and made me feel weepy....(this week hasn't been such a good week and am wishing I was back in the UK). Tomorrow might be better...

Sorry, don't want to hijack and make this a negative thread!

Oh, I love La Jolla! I was there several years ago and would really like to go back sometime!

I love La Jolla, too. We were just there last week. If I was absolutely forced to live in So. Cal., I would pick La Jolla as where I would want to be.

So after a week of perfect 70 and sunny weather on vacation, it is in the high 50's and has been pouring all day here. I'm actually quite fine with that.

My big gripe for the day is that apparently Oregon has a huge budget shortfall for the next fiscal year, so they're trying to fix it now by shortening the school year for every district this year. My DS will be getting out of school next week instead of the week after like he was supposed to. And they're projected to cut 10-20 days out of next year's school calendar. I'm not even sure if we meet the legal requirements for number of days they're supposed to be in school as it is.

His school district hasn't officially even told parents yet. I only know because one of my friends has a dad who is principal of a school. While it is a minor annoyance for me (mostly because trying to figure out what to do for the next 12 weeks with my kids is daunting), I can only imagine what a hassle it will be for the parents who rely on daycare and such to figure out what to do on such short notice.

Munchies... I'm going through a similar thing. Some weeks I've thought almost exactly that - if I'm not happy here, where WOULD I be happy? Some weeks I think how lucky I am to be here, some weeks I really feel like I don't fit in.

La Jolla is stunning but right now, the economy's bloody awful and we're living way above our means so in a way, it's worse living somewhere with lovely shops, restaurants etc. and no disposable income. I think if finances were better, life would be ok, but there's no safety net or benefits which is a worry.

Maybe we should meet up for a cuppa sometime. I don't mind a good British moan

Dooney... sounds like a nightmare. Have you tried your YMCA? Ours has some amazing summer camps and not TOO expensive, but still a little pricey...

Welcome to the thread Hootie - Charleston is nr Savannah? I read that book (Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil) several years ago - made it sound a very intriguing place!

Hi again Carmen - I remember your posting last year on the older thread. You were thinking of moving north a while ago? Must be hard if work opportunities not good.

gotmunchies - am trying to be positive I think it's natural to have good and bad weeks.... Am both looking forward to summer and feeling a bit apprehensive about filling 10 weeks... Feel free to have a moan in a way it's reassuring to know you're not the only one out there feeling homesick!

Dooney budget cuts seem pretty wide spread - surely they have to pay teachers an annual salary though? There is talk here about losing some teacher (so bigger classes etc..). Not sure what will happen.

Flipflops, you have a good memory!

I still am pondering moving north, but probably not for another year or two at least. Not sure whether we'll last here for that long though, mainly because of the money issue - we may end up heading back to Blighty but at the moment it's all a bit up in the air!

DH is consulting, which is great on busy weeks but not so good when things are slower. I wish it was a little more steady. I'm hoping to start working a little from home but keep dillydallying about what exactly to do

I do admit though that for summer, I've booked camps for pretty much the whole time. We're HEing so we end up with a sort of backwards calendar - the kids out all day through the summer and home all the time at term time! They'd really miss the camps if we were back in the UK.

HI everyone

It seems state education is awful in so many states, ....

Our school summer hols have started already....off to Seaworld later, thank goodness for annual passes, that way we can dip in and out of the place. These summer hols just feel too long for me though.

CarmenSanDiego sure, we could meet up. I have DC in camp next week, just for mornings 9-11.30am. Could meet for coffee at La Jolla Village Drive UTC...is that kind of central for us? Sorry, wouldn't be long meet but am free Tues and Wed a.m. If not next week, we could try for another time? Did I understand it right, are you homeschooling? (sorry to be dim?)

redflipflops thanks for your patience, sorry, didn't mean to make this thread all negative! was having frustrating week...you know what this life is like, just when things seem ok, you hit a bump....sometimes just need to let off steam to someone

I think I may start a new post, am intrigued to know how many people have moved back to the UK because they missed it only to find that 'the grass is greener' situation. That scares me a bit!

Munchies. Wednesday is great for me!

UTC is good for me. There's places in the mall or La Jolla Village Square... or I don't mind driving up to Del Mar (Pannikins or something?) if that's nearer for you?

We are home schooling, yep. We've tried two schools here and it didn't work out. My younger daughter has some ADD-like issues and the school insisted on medication as an answer which I wasn't happy with. Fortunately, they seem to be thriving at home with an online curriculum and lots of outside activities which has been a big relief.

Re: 'The Grass is Greener' - I know what you mean. I remember reading about 'boomerang Brits' in Australia - Brits that move to Australia, get fed up and move home then realise they were happier out in Australia after all so go back. I think that haunted me a little - I could well imagine doing the same thing. That said, my friend moved back to the UK recently and loves it but she has the resources to fly back and forth and keeps two houses which is quite a nice life!

Hello everyone! School holidays start here next week. Fortunately I have lived here for a long time and my children are a little older so they ship off (very willingly!) to camp for four weeks. It is the highlight of their year and they look forward to it for months. This year they pleaded to go for six weeks but because we go to England too we just cannot fit it in. Whilst I love going to England and still miss it terribly they do feel like duty visits sometimes.
GotMunchies - you should start that new post. I am intrigued as to the answers that you receive.
Dooney they are actually lengthening the days in schools here and reducing the school week to four days to save money. I cannot believe anyone thinks that children will be able to sit still and learn for up to ten hours a day.

Carmen how does it work HE with 3 kids? I love doing stuff (reading/playing or even just talking etc...) individually with my kids but find it impossible when all 3 together! Maybe because they are young still and close in age? For me this has been the hardest thing about having 3DC (feel like I can't actually 'do' much). Even trips to the park are stressful as the 4 yo wants to be pushed on swing but baby starts crying etc... feel like I'm always torn in several directions!

They do seem a bit over keen on medication with kids over here. Perhaps a cultural difference? or the medical system? I have a friend with teenagers who says half her kids friends are on antidepressants (and then sleeping pills so they can sleep) at age 16!! This sounds REALLY terrible to me - at such a young age.

gotmunchies I think that idea for a thread sounds interesting.... I think we all wonder whether missing home is a 'grass is greener' thing. There are good and bad things about both countries IMO and it's all about what suits your family and priorities....

Hi CarmenSD OK great, does Starbucks work? I could be there 9.30am Wed..I'll be wearing a British Tshirt...and will have Union jack bag...won't miss me! Does this work?

SatinandTat and Redflipflops - Right, I'm going to start a new thread, let's see if it makes us feel better or worse ...and if the grass truly is greener. Let's see what people say..don't know how to link the thread to this site, when I post it perhaps someone can do that, redflipflops , I know you did that before, (obviously more technology minded than me) perhaps you would be so kind to post the link to this thread for anyone interested? Cheers!

Flipflops...
It must be tough while they're all so young, but in a few years it should all become much easier (and hopefully they'll play together well, all being so close!)

My girls are 6 and 9. I find I spend most of my 'school' time teaching dd2. dd1 is pretty good at following the curriculum on her own with a little guidance and checking in. DS (toddler) pretty much fits in with what everyone else is doing. He's often snuggled up with me and dd2 on the sofa while we read a lesson on the computer.. or he romps around playing with his cars

What I love about HE is that we get through a lot of work quickly and have time to go to museums, activities etc. It's pretty easy if you use an online curriculum to cover the basics. I find it less stressful than dealing with all the parents meetings, fundraisers etc. of school [antisocial emoticon].

Expats recently returned to the UK - Regrets or relief to be home?

Thanks Carmen am hoping it gets easier.... It's good to know it's manageable to HE with 3 (slightly older) DC. It might be a useful option for us in the future - if we were to move to an area were schools weren't good. I've also thought it might be an option if we returned to UK and couldn't get the DC into reasonable state schools (if they're all over subscribed. At least you don't have that issue over here).

Arhh it's HOT here today... forecast for even hotter weekend. Can't cope...

I have a confession to make ...

i went home in Feb & HATED it!!!

I still get homesick, but going back, just me & dd, my parents treated me like an errant teen (which made me behave like one) & the ILs weren't much better on that front, PLUS MIL is highly manipulative, self centred & loves the use of emotional blackmail.

It rained almost every day, the roads were literally awash with mud. The traffic was horrific - i spent 5 hours driving 120 miles one day , and I got so fed up with queues everywhere - 15 mins to drive 5 mile to get to shops, 15 min queue to get petrol, which nearly bankrupted me, beggars on the streets, waiting in shops to be served.

After a few days I sort of readjusted, but when I look at the places we could afford to live, I shudder! It's not just about wanting a nice house, I just want to send dd to a decent school, not be stuck on the edge of a town with traffic problems to deal with, i want space to have fun & play etc. where we are here, crime is MUCH lower, it's so much safer & friendlier.

but i still get all nostalgic & homesick!

the only person i have told this to is dh (who, obviously, i missed), there's no way i can tell my family, and i still want to see them, but really, that last trip put me off moving back to the UK.

i'm a bad person, aren't i?

We're thinking about moving home but I'm really worried we'll want to come back - it's such a big decision and it really stresses me that I feel that I don't know my own mind.

HI kickassangel

I definitely GWYM..!!!!

Monkeytoo I know the tooing and froing (made up words?) sends me mad....

Who has seen the john Lewis add? YouTube it. You'll be in tears...I think you have to be from a certain generation (maybe not?) I'm late 30's....anyway, it seemed to affect me in a strange way.

Munchies, how exciting! I've never met a Mumsnetter!

I'll be there at 9:30... just to clarify, are we talking about the Starbucks in UTC mall by the food court?

I may or may not have DS with me but can hopefully tame him with a cookie My pic is in my profile.

Oh, that John Lewis ad did give me the sniffles. I watched it a while back and tried very hard to stay detached... didn't quite work!

I'd like to emigrate. We live in the UK. Tho Husband says we couldn't do it to his mother as then all her kids and lifelong friends would be abroad and she would be alone.

Not sure where we would go but then seeing as it's not an option at the mo. It's all just a dream.

Wow, this thread has gotten new life! Cool

I guess schools do vary quite a bit but you'll find that within individual states (that may have a bad reputation overall) there are still some very good choices. We live in AR and ds1 goes to a fabulous school. #1 in the state and one of only 12 or 14 K - 12 International Baccaulareate schools in the country.

Very of the starbucks meetup. I have met earlybird and dooney irl and it was lovely.

yes, that john lewis ad is everything that you think england should be! of course, life isn't like that all the time, but it's what a lot of us want - it may be a bit too anti-septic picture perfect, and in rl i'd get bored if it was ALWAYS like that. however, today i'm dealing with the clear-up from a broken hot water tank, so no chance of finding it all too easy right now.

I'm the same with the John Lewis ad - and I'm nearly 34 - must be our generation!

Sorry, crazy few days, couldn't get a moment on my MAC.

anyway...poor kickass !!!Yes, RL is broken water tanks, rude people, crummy days etc etc....but I did enjoy momentarily losing myself in a nostalgic moment with the John Lewis add!!!

redflipflops thanks for posting about the thread....did anyone notice the POOR response at the moment ! Maybe those expats who have moved back have stopped checking in on the Overseas ...where are they all??!!

carmensandiego phew sorry crazy few days...but yes, am looking forward to our coffee at the UTC Starbucks foodcourt La Jolla. Absolutely bring DS!!! Love little ones.

It's hot and just lovely here in San Diego...hope everyone has a great day where ever you all are.

ooh, we had tornadoes around here last night. not too close, although the siren went off. dh scoffed at my concern. this morning i discover that half the town moved into their basements for the night!!