Living in America....... summer 2010!

[redflipflops]

So.... new thread.... please join me

introductions:

redflipflops - California (central Coast)

Aha!

Wow, reading that post brings back memories of DH talking about the inner workings of a computer.

Too bad about the shopping spree. The DC's have counted up they have about $28 and think they're insanely rich and can't wait to go spend it.

Lol, about the $28. Did I tell you about ds2's birthday? He is one of those children who says he want everything for his birthday. From a nerf gun to zhu zhu pets to the special collection "Tangled" Barbie. It doesn't matter. If it's in a commercial, it's gotta be good. Soooo, I really wasn't sure what to get him for his birthday. I settled on adding to his birthday money from aunts, etc. and going to Toys R Us. The catch was that I went to the bank first and had them change it into all $1 bills. I had two envelopes marked "Money to Spend" and "Money Spent". People stared at us strangely as we discussed and counted our way through $75. In the end, he spent $74.60 including tax and really made some very good choices - lego sets, an I SPY book among others. I was impressed...and relieved.

Oh, and the talking Bee transformer helmet thingy soon lost its appeal (thank goodness!) and was on sale so not too bad on that one

Hi everyone. It is 1am uk time pouring with rain outside, no change there then. I am moving to NJ end April for 2 years with husbands work. They are being brilliant doing all the logistics of the move, but that still leaves me to sort the grungy stuff!!. plus I have 3 kids. Husband moves out in 6 weeks, leaving me here to sort everything, and I am beginning to panic. I am sooo dreading that last day at schools for my 6 yr old, although he is excited to go, I don,t think he quite understands it, any advice. I am really really dreading saying farewell to my pArents, although they can come and visit, my kids are their only grand children and they are really close, I do not want to have that last get together as I know we will all end up in bits and I really don't want the children to get upset, what should I do?? I think it has suddenly hit me that we are going, and yet their is so much to do still. god I am crying now, not really sure why. So any advise about anything would be great.
Thanks x

Hi Oscar - welcome to the thread! Two years will fly by. We've been here for 2 years and 8 months already and had said we'd give it 3-5 years initially!

I had to sort stuff out on my own with a toddler and a baby while my dh moved out 6 weeks before me, so I feel your pain. Checklists are the only way to go! It is tough with the gps and all I can advise is getting them set up with skype before you go. Both sets love speaking (or at least seeing ours)on the PC. Continental fly into Newark direct from a lot of UK airports. Suggest that to them. You won't have time to go back in only years if you want to make the best of your opportunity.

I can't advise about dcs' last days at school, I'm afraid. Mine still haven't started yet! Best of luck!

dd's last day of school i went in & took pics of her with her class - i had to arrange it before, because of getting permission for the photos. they had done her a big card, and all drawn pics of themselves. you could send in some snacks (if allowed) & make it a kind of 'party' to keep it fun?

she won't get what it's like at first.

dd was 5 when we moved here, and seemed to think it was some long holiday. then we moved into the house we bought & she found school hard, and she got v upset.

but then, none of our family visit us, ever, so there's a limit to how often we see people.

if you know it's for a fixed time, and will be moving back to your current house, then it will be different - try to treat it like one long holiday & get out there to travel & see things as much as possible. i found thinking about saying goodbye was worse than doing it. by the time you're ready to go, you'll be saying, call you next week, speak to you on skype, and it doesn't feel so bad. and get set up with jajah for phone calls, it's v cheap & doesn't have the time delay of skype, i find it easier just to ring up & chat if i'm by myself.

how much do you have to sort yourselves? we had to do everything. i had about 6 weeks when dd was in school, dh still home but trying to wrap up everything at work (they were closing the uk office, so a lot of deadlines to meet), so i had to organise the entire house move, sale, banking etc etc

one tip for the physical packing - we put everything we might need into one room (which we cleared first) then did a practice run with packing, weighed the suitcases etc, to make sure we could do that. then we kept stuff in there, and the removal firm knew NOT to touch anything in that room. because we needed to buy a house once we landed here, we dreaded having some vital paperwork being put into storage where we couldn't get it.

if you're sending anything by boat, allow about a month for it to get there. oh, and even a 'full service' removal co. won't unpack boxes - they just pile them up in your house. KEEP those boxes, cos when you go back the other way, they don't provide boxes & you have to pay for them.

oh, gosh look at me, the 'moving expert'. i have to say, i am sick of moving, and would like to stay put in one place for 10 years if we can manage it.

Hi, thanks for your replies, very helpful. I think I am just in a panic, there is still so much todo and my brain was in overdrive, my lists and lists of lists are done, and starting to tick them off, whilst adding to them. I am usually so laid back nothing fazes me, maybe I am allowed to be a little fazed by this. Am really looking forward to it it is an amazing adventure for us all and I know the kids will enjoy it. I am hoping to work, I have been told that as my husband visa L1 means I may be able to I am a swimming teacher, if not I would volunteer, could I do this????
We off to the US embassy next week to get our paperwork stamped, I have been told it is quite austere, never mind a day out in London to follow.
I hope to keep in touch as things progress. Anything else I should know greatly appreciated. It is still raining here by the way. Xx

Thanks. Xx

I have a work permit paid for by dh's work and he is on an L1 visa. You do have to apply for it, though. Hope it doesn't rain while you are waiting at the Embassy.

Welcome Oscar!

When you arrive on an L2 visa (dependant of an L1) you can apply for social security number straight away (needed for diving license). Then if you want to work (on an L2) you need to apply for another permit from the immigration dept - you can only do this AFTER you've arrived in the country. It can take several months for immigration dept to send through the paper work / 'permission to work'. So the first few months you might not be able to work. I think you can volunteer on an L2?

I'd recommend getting to US embassy early (even earlier than appointment time) as then you can get ahead in the queue (ahem the line!).

Saying good bye to family is really hard. I think it helps to have a visit planned and skype set up!

driving license

not every state require a ssn for driver's license - i didn't have one.

oscar - don't expect to be out of the embassy quickly - we were there 6 hours. it is horrid, and getting in is like going through airport security 3 times over. CHECK the entry rules before setting off - you're not even allowed a digital watch, let alone phones, ipods etc.

take something to read & some food, no liquids. get there at least half an hour before your appt time - it takes a while to get through those security checks.

don't take the dc's unless you have to.

DO TAKE THE LETTER WITH YOUR APPT or they won't let you in at all.

Hi everyone. We're not in the US yet but hope to move there in the future. Can I ask those of you who moved with school aged children how long you gave them to adjust before sending them to school? We are home educating here but plan on reviewing that decision when/if we move. Eldest will be 5/6 by the time we've got our act together!
Ta in advance.

kids don't start school til they're 5 anyway.

the gov is pushing for kindergarten to be all day, but there are places that still do half day, but these are being phased out. atm, we'd have to pay extra for full day not half, but that is also disappearing.

each state has its own 'cut off' date for the age of kids. in MI, they should have turned 5 by sep 1 to start school that year.

however, where we are, there's the option to hold them back if their birthday is between sep1 and sometime in nov. OR they can start early, OR they can go to 'young 5s' for a year, then start K the year after, but it has to be full days.

so, here, they are v flexible, and you can choose depending on how you think your child will cope.

where you live decides which school your kids go to - so each time you look at a house, find out which school it goes to (if you buy, it's listed on the realtor's details), and visit that school to see what you think.

homeschooling is 'allowed' here, but again, varies on the state. in MI they do check up on progress, but a lot of people do it. the libraries allow people to take out up to 100 books at a time in order to help parents with this.

dd had already done a year & a bit at school when we moved here, and we were living in a one bed apartment, so i got her into school quickly. we had to have some paperwork to prove where we were moving to, before a school could take her. so she had to wait 3 weeks to start school, as it took us that long to choose a house to buy. some areas might insist that you were in your house before taking the child.

i found schools v good at answering questions i sent by email, and very open to having us visit & look around. also, v flexible in when dd started, half or full day etc.

we're lucky - public schools here are lovely. teachers have actually just taken a voluntary pay cut to stop redundancies, and class sizes are about 20. classes also much better equipped than one i've seen in the uk. BUT it varies hugely by area/state etc, so ask first.

Thanks for the reply. We are looking at New York somewhere. That's where Dh's new office would be. I definately like the idea of finding a school that will let him do half days to settle. I'm finding the education system over there really confusing. I have a friend who's from the US and she's tried to explain it to me but since it differs state to state it's hard work.

Another random question. Those of you that drive, how easy did you find it to adjust? That's probably one of my biggest worries.

Our son was in P1 till end of nov, and then he started kindergarten, full days, two days after we arrived, when all the kids here went back to school after Xmas hols. Between snow closures and moving he'd been out of school a month, and we felt he'd be better off arriving in on the first day of a new term.

While it is a long day, they have a lot of rest, including a hour of nap time and another hour of playing outside. He has been there two weeks now and has totally adapted. We were very particular about which school he would go to and visited loads. Like kickass, once we decided on the school, we then bought our house specifically in the school catchment area.

As for driving, I was quite nervous about it too but it's been fine. Whenever i have a moment of doubt, I remind myself that the driver is always nearest the meridian. Works every time!

I don't think I'd have much useful advice as I live the other side of the country. Driving in winter is tricky though. Maybe when you buy your winter tyres and snow chains (compulsory to have in Oregon,not sure about other states) you can get them to teach you how to do it?

tad - we just have to have all weather tyres, so don't know about ny.

you can always get yourself a lesson or two for driving - but they don't seem to have dual control cars here, you just get in the instructor's car & go.

automatic is way easier. round here also roads not nearly so crowded.

Do you not get lots of lake effect snow kickass? The last couple of months have been a bit crazy for weather haven't they?

we're on the east side of MI, most of the lake effect gets dumped to the west, as it comes off lake mi, then it picks up the next lot over lake huron, to our east.

basically, as it travels west to east (or left to right) it goes dry, wet (lake mi), dry, wet (lake huron), dry.

we get quite a bit of snow, but not huge amounts, usually only a foot or two at most.

We get the common or garden 'it's a very tall mountain in winter' kind of snow!

Are you on Mountain time or Eastern time there?

eastern. wwe're the furthest west you can go.

actually, i never thought - but i'm pretty certain that michigan's upper peninsula (up) is also on eastern time, but it loops west & is pretty much due north of illinois, which is on mid-west time.

i need to go & google now

Isn't the UP above Wisconsin? I didn't mean Mountain Time (that's just East of here), sorry for being so stupid. Duh!

Do you get to cross time zones regularly then? I imagine the novelty wears off after about the first time!

yep, up is above wisconsin, which is above illinois

i think indiana is still eastern time - we have to drive for at least 3 hours to cross the time zone. it's not really a big deal, until we went on a night out in chicago to see a band. we got in the car around 11 pm il time, which was midnight our time, as we had a 4 hour drive ahead.

still, we got an extra hour earlier that day when we drove over.

Indiana reminds me of The Middle, which is really quite funny!