Moving back to the UK

[oftenpurple]

Hello, we are making plans to move back to the UK from Dubai in the near future. I'd be interested to hear how other 're-pats' have got on with their moves home. How have your children coped with the move, new schools and new friends?

dont go back!! come and live in oz with us, where the sun shines and family life is the most important thing

We moved back to the UK in September last year, after having been abroad for 3 years. The DC's were 12 and 8. The move back has been much. much easier than I thought it would be. We had been letting our house whilst we were overseas, so we moved back to the same area. My 8 year old was a bit nervous as she didn't remember going to school in the UK, however she got a place at the local school and has settled really well. we had a few problems getting a school place for our 12 yo DS, but he too has settled and is doing really well at school. He's a bit of a "celebrity" with his peers as he's a fluent Spanish speaker! So all in all, it's been fine all round. Hope your return is as smooth as ours.

Wow sounds like a wonderful experience then vonnyh. DH is being very positive about it at the moment. Children would be happy to be near to my family. Just need to decide when now!

oftenpurple we are in the same boat. I'm in KSA having been here for 5 years although I originally planned only 2 years.
I now think its time to return as DD 3.5 and DS 1 and I think it might be best to get DD back and settled into a school in the UK. she is registered to start at the school here in September this year but I'm now so unsure what to do. I think if she starts at the school here we will never return.

Its such a hard decision isn't it. Where will your base be if/when you return?

vonny so glad it worked out for you. I'm worried about tearing DD about from her friends as she has loads here and she doesn't know anyone near our UK house. Come to think of it, neither to I now and also no longer have any family

Hi mumoverseas,

My children are a little older (DS6 and DD3) so DS settled in primary school here. I've come to the conclusion that there is never a good time to move but we're thinking within the next 2 years. We'll be based either in the Midlands or somewhere close by as that's where we have family. Part of the reason for wanting to leave now is that we have a limited support system here. We have lovely friends but there's only so much you can ask from them, isn't there?

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Hi oftenpurple. I totally agree regarding the support network. No matter how good your friends are, they are not family.
We'd initially planned to return to the UK last summer after DS1 finished his GCSEs. However, he somehow managed to persuade us to let him go to a ridiculously expensive 6th form so we have no choice but to stay an extra 2 years. Also, I lost my mum last summer and having already lost my dad and having no other close family I feel I don't really have anything to go back for. It is such a difficult decision for us as once we leave here, there is no going back.

I was looking on the local infant/junior school website last night which is 5 mins walk from our UK home and it looks lovely. Part of me wants to just take the kids home and send them there and not have all the nonsense we've had with DC1 and 2, with all the expense of private schools and the nightmare school run etc.

How does your DS feel about the possibility of leaving and returning to the UK?

LOL I've been daydreaming about walking the children to school too! I would love a little less time in the car for all of us.

I'm sorry to hear that you've lost your parents. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you. I feel incredibly lucky to have my parents as my DH doesn't have his.

This is the first time that the majority of my siblings are in one country - I know that they would drop everything to help us out with the children. I'd also be a bit closer to my sister and her children although still a long flight away.

DS is thrilled with the idea and would love to live near Grandma and Grandad. He's got lots of lovely friends here but people come and go all the time. It can be upsetting for them.

Where do you live in the UK?

Hi,
Our UK base is on the Surrey/Sussex border. Makes me sad that we didn't make this decision to return when mum was still alive so she could have spent time with the youngest grandchildren. You and your children are lucky you still have your parents. I feel really sad for DC3 and 4 as they won't have the lovely happy memories that DC1 and 2 had of my parents.

Been mooching at local state schools in our area this morning but its all so confusing about how you apply. It was easier if somewhat expensive with DC1 and 2 who went private.

Its a 5 min walk to our 'local' school back home but I imagine I'll be driving everywhere when I get home as I can't drive out here (as a mere woman!)

Its great that your DS would love to live near his grandparents, that would soften the blow of leaving friends. DD has made loads of friends here and is settled in her nursery, ballet, swimming etc and then of course the move (across a small fence) to 'big' school in September. Do you think its better to get out sooner rather than later before they get too settled?

we are back in the UK for 12 weeks in the summer and I'm going to try very hard to get her mixing with as many local children as possible so she can hopefully make friends there ready for when we go home. She gets so confused about where 'home' is. (as do I, I guess its the house with the most pairs of shoes in)

That's a similar line of thinking to the one I have all the time. I know my Dad in particular loves being around the children and is always taking them on little trips and to see things.

Yes, the application process is confusing. From what I've gathered (i.e. when I sent my Mum in to ask), we'll need to be resident at our address before we can apply. We don't have a house in the UK (yet!).

DD will be starting school this September and I think that's been a bit of a wake up for me. The past 3 1/2 years have zipped by!

I didn't realise that you had four children! We're thinking about number 3 at the moment and that will have bearing on when we move too.

Don't feel too bad about the not driving thing - there are plenty of people in Dubai who are legally entitled to drive but really shouldn't!!!

We are moving 'back' next year after what will be 16 years overseas. We are currently in Hungary.

I say moving 'back' in inverted commas as although we have a house in Surrey we are actually moving to Somerset where we know nobody really! And my family are all in Dublin so we are not moving much closer to them really although DS would love to.

Having seen children move to and fro where ever we have been I think they are generally very adaptable. And once in school they will usually make friends. And if the school is 5 mins walk from home then most friends would be fairly local too I would imagine mumoverseas. It is a hard decision though.

I can't wait. Have SO had enough of the expat life.

Oh no, thats a bugger having to be resident before you can apply. I'd assumed/hoped we could just apply whilst we were here as we still have our UK house and then hopefully when we get DD/DS a place I'd go home then and DH would follow later. Don't like the idea of uprooting them from here and then sitting back at our UK home with no schools for them to go to.

Looks like our DDs are the same age. Is yours a little madam too?
Yes, 4 of the little darlings. DS1 is 17 in July and doing AS/A levels at a UK boarding school. DD1 is 14 this summer and just about to start GCSEs at a (different) UK boarding school (thankfully half the price of DSs)

Feel free to borrow DC4 (gorgeous little man of 14 months) for a long weekend to see if you still want number 3. He can be with you within 1 1/2 hours of leaving here

One of my best friends moved to DXB when I moved here and sadly she is one that comes under that category of driving

LOL feel free to send him over! So many of our friends have either just had a baby, are pregnant or thinking about having a baby. At a friend's birthday party recently, I was chatting away to my two while holding her baby and had a 'oooh, I could definitely do this' moment!

Re the schools thing, we've got friend who just moved back to the UK who managed to secure an offer of a place (rather than the actual place ) from here. They had to be living in the UK to be given the place though.

mumoverseas - I think you can apply as you do already have a house in the area and you will be living there. Would assume so anyway.

buda that is excellent news, so I'm not just paying 200pcm council tax to have my bins emptied 8 times a year

purple Emirates flight from KSA to DXB lands at 11.20pm your time

Get something for that money! 200pcm!!! OUCH!!

I lied, its 197!

Oh. That's not too bad then!

I'm going through it now with a daughter who will be three in July.

The biggest challenge I am coping with is the choosing of a school and the need to rent or buy a house near the chosen school. It sounds ideal, I need a commute into central London for work and that is it. Unfortunately the very ability to live anywhere really is posing the greatest problem.

Without the net you'd never be able to do it but that and getting the brochures from the respective councils means you can build a spreadsheet with previous years admissions data and rail links with commute times. Various web tools can tell you how far a prospective property is from the school you are looking at and you can see whether that is likely to be within the catchment area for your school.

Without all the information from the net, you would just have to pick where you were going and take pot luck. I can't justify taking pot luck with my daughter's education.

We moved back from Taiwan when DS was 16 months old and I was pregnant with DD. We found it hard financially at first as we when from being quite high earners to struggling to find jobs. I'd say it took us a few years to get back into our careers. But as a family, it was the bst thing we could have done and having given birth both in Taiwan and the UK I really rate the NHS. Also having taught both in Taiwanese school and UK school, I'm glad we came back from an educational point of view.Mind you I still look at the international job adverts!

buda, only just seen you have a house in Surrey. shame you are not moving back there as we'd be neighbours

and we can't wait to leave uk! really want to relocate to Abu Dhabi next year.