How realistic is it to try to divide our time between London and the Far East?

[wonderingwondering]

Really grateful for any thoughts. DH has been asked if he'd relocate for 2-3 years to the Far East (HK or Singapore). My children are 5 and 3. I'd be willing to do it, but on the basis that I could keep my house in the UK and return every school holiday, with DH coming back, say for two weeks, while I come back for four, and returning without DH for a week at half term, etc.

I'd like to keep contact with my current life - friends, family, the older child's school friends, even friends in my sports club. So if we were back every six weeks, I feel as though I'd maintain my UK life.

I was even thinking I could work remotely and keep my job if I could call into the office every six weeks. I'm quite nervous about becoming a FT SAHM - I work PT at the moment but I love the mix between home and work life.

But would trying to have a foot in both camps mean I wouldn't settle in our 'new' life? And is the idea completely unrealistic?

it's a 12 hour flight back from Singapore, but with all the associated mucking about/timezones basically ends up taking a whole day - coming back every 6 weeks would be challenging.

Regarding the tax thing - there's a difference between domiciled and resident - it's very easy to be non-tax resident, but non-domiciled is all but impossible (this is what they've been cracking down on recently).

So long as there are double taxation agreements (Singapore has this, not sure about Hong Kong), and you don't spend longer than 6 months in the UK in any one year you should be OK with the non-resident.

I heartily recommend living in Singapore - life is easy, and clean, and there's so much to do.

WW, if you can decide in which city to live then I think you need to think about what sort of person you are and how much money is at your disposal.

Singapore is old colonial style (Tanglin Club, Pines, British Club, etc), an island with lots of nature, ruled by a dictatorship that works well and is very safe and well-run. The medical system is one of the best in Asia and the mixture of food and culture is great. I'd say it is a multicultural village with amenities to entertain the masses and lots of shopping all year round. It is also a bit boring and bland due to the restriction of rights and the lack of lateral thinking abilities in most Singaporeans can drive one mad... It is a great place for (very) young children (before puberty) and super safe. Food is cheap unless you raid Jones the Grocer on Tanglin Hill Accom is more expensive, a 4-5 BR house in districts 9, 10 setting you back around S$18k. Cars are taxed heavily and you cannot own them in SIN, you own the right to drive them for 10 year period after which you are economically better off to buy a new one. There are road tolls, etc. I could go on and on... Schools are good: Canadian, UWC, Tanglin, German, Dutch, etc. all private. Nurseries, etc are available, too and you should definitely get a maid to look after your house.

I could write so much more but I'm getting a cramp in my arm I think the best thing to do is go to a library and arm yourself with a few books on the 2 cities and go somewhere like www.britsabroad.com/forum/ or www.geoexpat.com/ for Hk to bounce ideas around.

HK is the love of my life, I enjoy this city like no other and have loads of friends there. However, when the option came up to move there my baby was just born and I don't think it's a great place for small kids. However, it all depends on you and your family.

Btw: I would not leave my husband alone in Asia for weeks and weeks many times over the course of a year. After all, a good way for Asian girls to go from rags to riches is to date/marry an expat and they literally throw themselves at them at any given opportunity. Sarong Party Girls indeed. HK is even worse because of the influx from China.

I first left UK for Asia and now find myself in the Middle East. Seriously think idea of commuting would be very difficult what with length of flight and time differences not too mention unsettling for the children. When we left we initially decided to keep our house in UK as was, car in garage etc for the first year, just as a safety net. The second year we rented it out and so went through the palaver of packing up entire house and storing it all. That next summer was difficult culminating in DS aged 8 at the time, saying quite forcfully that he was fed up of living out of a suitcase and he wanted to go home (Asia). The novelty of moving around and staying with various rellies/friends does soon wear off and is very tiring - certainly not a 'holiday' Fortunately our tenant moved out after a year so we moved back in, furniture back in place in time for Christmas! Have kept house/car available ever since and it is great to know the children and I can go home for 6/8 weeks if we want in the summer, even if DH doesn't always manage to join us .
Now that our 13 hr flight has become 6 we can opt to go home more often, although when you are abroad there is always another travel spot that sounds more exciting/exotic that UK!
As previous posters have said the expat community can really help you settle. You do have to make the effort at the beginning, but if you do you'll soon find like minded people and at the end of the day we are all in the same boat..away from home and family. Your friends become your support network and your family away from home.
Just my two penn'th for what it's worth. Good luck..

wonderingwondering I'm definitely in the same situation as you.. and have also fantasized about commuting, rather than moving, to Singapore... but I have given up and given in to the idea that I am going to be there for the next 2 years.

My list goes like this:

• Good weather
• Good food
• Safe
• Lots of travel
• Swimming pool
• Household help
• Opportunity to have a healthier lifestyle (vs. the typical London one)
• After these 2 years my DH will have to agree to go wherever I want next!

But of course there is another list I am reluctant to think about, which doesn't look so good!

Anyway, I think that if you do like working see if you can find a job there so you don't have to struggle with the loss of identity/being far away from home conundrum. And also that way you still will have a degree of control and autonomy in your own life whilst there. (I'll be in SG too if you end up there).