Anyone moved to Australia from the UK and came back home?

[chicaguapa]

DH is doing a PGCE in Chemistry and we're thinking of moving out to Australia for a few years while DS are still young and to enjoy the relaxed outdoor lifestyle for a bit. I can't see us staying out there forever as I have loads of family in the UK and I know I & DC will miss them.

I have lived abroad before and have really enjoyed it, but have also been pleased to come 'home' eventually. I have a few reservations about going to Australia though as I'm not sure how easy it will be to come home to dreary old grey England after such a lovely lifestyle in Australia. So I was wondering if anyone had any experiences of doing that?

DH has been before and would go like a shot, but he isn't particularly close to his family. I've not been but easily adapt to places so I have no worries about that aspect. I guess I'm just worried that I'll feel torn and part of me will want to stay for the lifestyle and the other part will want to go home to family. And then I'll wish I'd never gone in the first place!

Thanks.

I am married to an Australian and we lived there for a couple of years, but are now back in the UK. Am happy to answer any questions you might have.

WE've been to NZ for 4 years and then came home again. Have guests now but will come back and answer questions if you want but prob not till tomorrow!

I guess I just want to know if it's possible to have a really good time there and yet still be happy to come home? I don't doubt that the lifestyle is great, lots of sunshine in the summer, big open spaces etc and we are the type of people to make a good of any situation.

The immigration test thingy says we have enough points (though not a lot of time as DH is 41) but I don't think we can start the visa process until DH has finished his NQT which is over a year away anyway. But it has a bearing on whether we relocate within the UK now or wait until we would get back from Australia.

I was happy to come home as that is where I wanted to be. For me people are more important than places and I missed friends and family a lot.

I think I will always wonder about the decision though as the life there is great and I wonder if my kids would have a better life being Aussies than Brits.

Are you sure you want to come home? What happens if DH and the DC's love it and don't want to come back? It will be hard coming back and I think it is inevitable that you will forever compare the UK to Australia.
If you go there you need to prepare for the fact that it may just be too hard to come back.

Well my DH did, he moved out to Sydney with me for a couple of years, so did friends of ours.

We came back to get married and cos he is quite close to his family and we didn't have any family in Australia (since I'm from NZ) so its made it a better place to have our children to have that little bit of extra support.

Friends of ours did similiar, although they moved back because one of their fathers had cancer and they thought he wasn't going to make it. He ended up recovering luckily, and they stayed and got married and have had their children here while benefitted from having family around too.

I'm about to come back after 2 years, though my story isn't that positive, so I won't go on about it here..
However if your plan is to come out temporarily (to start with), I'd say go for it. The lifestyle is wonderful. DD spends 90% of her life outside and as soon as the sun comes out we're down on the beach and swimming in the sea. The wildlife is what I'm going to miss the most - waking up to cockatoos in the morning. watching the rainbow laurakeets fly over our house...its endless.
What you have to balance out is if and how long you can cope without your extended family and friends around you. Plus as others have said, if your Dh and Dc's love it, could you make that decision to come home, solely based on you wanting to?
If I were you (and if I had my time again)I would apply for the visa - it will take a while to process, and in the meantime talk it over continuously with your DH, covering all areas. If you decide to make a go of it, the best thing would be to put your possessions in storage, rent out your home and keep a reasonable amount in your British bank account. This will then give you a backup plan.
Good luck. Its a beautiful country and I'm going to miss it and my lovely friends over here heaps.

tbh I think the ones you need to think about most is your children and how it will affect them, both moving out there and then coming back.

If you move out to Aus their relationship with the extended family will change, and depending on how long you stay they may never get it back.

But equally, when you leave you will be taking them away from the friends they have made there and the lifestyle they have become used to, and that is equally hard.

We are also thinking of going to Australia for a year (maybe two?) the year after next. I have already started looking at rental properties in Sydney, I am THAT excited. I've said to DH - what if we don't want to come back? too. I think the point about family is important, especially with young children. Just wondering how easy it was to fit in and meet people when you have little children - our DS will be 3 (and hopefully another one about 10 months...?) as I won't be working so won't meet people through work. I guess that's the main thing I'm worried about. Would love to hear other peoples' experiences...

Crikey, brighton, I've just seen this. Are you really? Give me a ring and we can go to the Monkey Bar (snurk) before you leave.

I don't know. To be honest (and I am a native Australian who lived in Britain for about seven years) I pine for the UK so much I wonder sometimes if it's genetic.

I love it here but really only because of my family. If I had been dropped on earth fully formed and without family ties I would live in the UK (or in a refugee camp in Sangatte trying to get in). I like cold winters and mild summers. I love the Sunday supplements, the telly, the people, the humour, the architecture. I even love the London Underground, which I know makes me a very rare bird indeed.

clairesparkle - its much easier to meet other people when your children are little, than when they're a bit older. playgroups etc. are totally conducive to making friends. and sydney is full of blow-ins. you'll be fine.

wannabe - I know what you're saying but my DS lived away from extended family til he was 5 and has now fitted right back in and has strong relationships with them all.

If you move anywhere you are going to form attachments with people, miss the people you've left etc. etc. Its the nature of the moving game.

ninedragons - I'm with you. Would go back to UK like a shot! But can't at the moment. Sigh.

I've just joined this site and was going to start a thread on moving back to London from Australia!

Me and DH have been here for 2.5 years and in a total dilemma about moving back to London. The main driver for moving back is planning to start a family next year.. and do not want to do this away from family.

But... Australia feels like a much better place to bring up a family. The lifestyle is more relaxied, you can be outside all of the time, the social scene is excellent (young families everywhere and very willing to make friends). DH is crazy about the place and doens't want to leave.

Brightongirldownunder I'm with you on all the amazing things about Australia. The nature is spectacular and the opportunity for beautiful walks, swimming etc every weekend is wonderful.

Chicaguapa.. I would say go for it. Be prepared for the fact that either one or both of you may find it difficult to come home. But.. even though I'm in this dilemma I do not regret for one minute taking the opportunity. We've been only a short time here and we'll be a long time home...

Had started to think I might be a bit mad, but I agree with ninedragons. I am also a native Australian who lived mostly in the UK, for 11yrs. We've been back here 3yrs now and I like being back, and am happy the dc are growing up with extended family around them and think the outdoor lifestyle is better for them. But if I hadn't had any children I think I would still be living in the UK, and visiting Australia (& a lot of other places )regularly.
You're lucky to have the option to consider moving here, why not give it a go, you've got nothing to lose.

probably shouldn't be posting here at the mo as am not in best headspace for it - moved to Australia 3 months ago from the UK - I am British, DH is Australian.

We came here mostly because of DS, so that he could have the best opportunities for outdoor living, plus the private schools are cheaper here than in the UK. Of course DH's family were a major factor too, but I wouldn't have done it for that.

DH has told me we can review it in 3years time, by which time I should have "got over" my homesickness so can be more objective about where would be the right place to live.

Just now - I miss England so much it hurts. We are about to face 35deg plus for the next week, I have never been a great one for heat and DS and I both have very fair skin so we will mostly be staying inside with the air-con on. DS is nearly 2 and highly reluctant to keep his hat on or anything sensible.

Also, the whole Christmas thing just hasn't kicked in - I knew it would be different and perhaps it is just the homesickness talking but Christmas just isn't "happening" for me at all, despite the decs all going up in the shops. It just feels wrong!

I miss my family, I miss my friends and if it wasn't for MN I would be in a lot worse state than I actually am.

Having said all that (told you I was in a bad headspace) - the wildlife here is great, especially if you like birds. We live near the Hunter Valley wine region (a bit more country-like) and have the Watagan mountains to visit, as well as the beaches of course.

It really depends on your personal priorities - if DH wasn't Australian I don't think I could have done it, but he is and I knew it was part of the "deal" and still went for it anyway.

BTW, the "lifestyle is f'ing expensive over here - I can't believe the price of some of the foods! And if you like organic food, then you'll get a shock - much less of it and fearsomely expensive. Of course fuel is cheaper but cars are not.

Every time I tell people that my husband is Australian and that we used to live there I am greeted with the same look of shock and surprise that I chose to come back.
But I (whispers) like it better here.
I think my naturally melancholy nature suits this country better.
And it is so seriously hot out there I never went out in it.
It is so good to hear that I am not the only one who prefers the UK, I sometimes feel like a complete freak constantly having to justify moving back here.

Also, it is an f'ing long way from home - several times already I have wished I was only in France or somewhere that was only a 3hr flight from home, so I could just nip home for the weekend to sort out a few things that have come up - just not an option at this distance (to say nothing of the cost!)

Glad I'm not the only one feeling this. Quite hard to be frank about it, isn't it as everyone thinks you're mad. Sorry OP - probably not helping. The VAST majority of people love it out here. You should give it a go.

I'm similar to thumbwitch but have been here 2yrs & hoping to go back to the UK next yr to have second child. Having no family out here is not working for us, even though we both would have said we weren't family people before having our first child out here. I would feel too guilty having another child out here away from extended family. Also first child is coming up to the age where we can go out & do things & I am missing the range of things all available within a couple of hours in the UK (ie National Trust stuff, gardens, castles, museums) & the seasons. Apparently they do have seasons here but to me it is just either mild weather or insanely hot! I'm torn in some ways as it is great for kids in a lot of areas & I have no experience of kids in the UK, yet when I see the UK listings like in the Guardian for family stuff I am so jealous that there doesn't seem to be the same range of things available here. Still I'm glad we did come out to have had the experience. In hindsight would have preferred to have moved within the UK but I know we wouldn't have been able to exorcise the "what ifs" if we hadn't moved here when the opportunity came up (DP had a job offer so it wasn't like a totally free choice).

it's 42 deg here today - we are indoors. It's bearable in here with the air con on; outside is like an oven, and the wind is hot too, making it the most hazardous weather for bushfires (another thing to consider when moving out here).

I have been here nearly a year and I would go back home this afternoon if I could. It's such a relief to find other people have the same feelings.

I realise that living in Australia is a dream come true for a lot of people, but it is not for me. You can't talk about it in RL though as it's not socially acceptable with new Australian friends, or English people that I have met since I got here. And I don't want my family and friends back home to worry about me.

In winter my DH was on and on about how we couldn't go to the park in the UK back home, but you can't go in the summer here. You would burn your bum on the slide. My three year old is stuck at home with me instead of being in the lovely pre-school that she would have gone to if we had stayed in the UK.

Rant over.

I lived in Oz for a while and on the surface things are brilliant, beaches, outdoorsy stuff etc. But there are things which no one talks about which are just underlying the gloss which are disturbing.

1. The fair skin in a ozone deplete region is unsustainable in the long term, everyone knows someone with skin cancer, so forget basking in the sun dreams like you might in your garden in the UK. Oz women's skin often looks like leather.

1. Unsustainable lack of water will push up farm food prices relentlessly, having to use the swimming pool as a water tank as too precious to use for frivolous purposes like swimming. Hose pipe bans, long term and chronic water shortages in many areas.

1. Increasing obesity and lack of exercise due to not being able to go outside in the sun, miles and miles of concreted over suburbs. Yes, some parts of the UK are like that but it is a huge shock to people who go to Oz expecting to escape from it.

1. Generally much more sexist and racist, say 20 years behind UK on these issues.

oh barrel, you are so right! The obesity in the area I am in is so prevalaent, it's frightening. But then nobody ever seems to walk anywhere, where I am (no doubt it is different in the big cities) - everyone drives everywhere. I was truly at the lack of thinness - the majority of people here are mildly to morbidly obese.

And the number of drive-through fast food outlets is equally , especially in the suburbs of Sydney - you can't go more than 1/4 of a mile without there being one.

So true. Mind, I have put on a stone since I got here.....I used to walk a lot in the UK, but I don't now. Nearly everyone I know is overweight and as I work in our school uniform shop I can see that a lot of the children are too. They seem to be eating all the time. The school children at our school take THREE snacks and their lunch to school. And the toddlers walk around with those tupperware lunch boxes with the 5 compartments crammed with food. At our other and toddler group, which is 9-11.30 the children start eating as soon as they arrive. No wonder they can't do a jigsaw or lacing when they go to school.

I can't believe how dull the lessons are at my dd's school. She is 5 and there is no learning through play at all. It actually quite suits my dd1's personality as she likes rules and doesn't like to use her imagination, but my dd2 will bee doomed.

I lived in Oz for two years before I had DD and I wouldn't choose to go back. I started off loving it, I was backpacking, hanging out with others in the same position and it was a great big holiday, I only saw the good stuff, the stuff we dream about in the UK, but then I started working and moved to a real Aussie town (Kalgoorlie!), and though I had a fab time, and I'm glad I went I noticed far more of the bad points, all the things that have been mentioned here.

I know as a typical English person I do moan about the weather but it came as such a shock. Too hot to go out so you can't enjoy the sun, lack of greenery because of it and I hated the winters. Of course it's warmer than here but lack of heating and insulation left me freezing for 3 months, and you don't get the cold nights where you snuggle up inside the way you do here. Christmas seemed all wrong, (I called the radio station on Christmas day to ask where the Christmas songs were!) and no long, light evenings in summer either.

Living inland there was no beach, though of course most people do live near one. I didn't think the food was as good as here, fantastic asian food but no where near as much choice as what we're used to.

The telly is beyond rubbish, and I found that made a difference. Over here we do all bond over Eastenders/Strictly/X Factor and have fantastic documentaries/drama/current affairs programmes. They just don't in Aus, and international news is very lacking.
Oh and you get bizarre adverts for something like a roadhouse 10 hours drive away, followed by one for a Thai restaurant, 6 hours in the other direction!

I missed the history, the old buildings, castles and cathedrals, the green countryside. Red dust worn thin very quickly!

None of the things I didn't like would have occurred to me before I went, but they are things I take for granted in the UK, things I didn't notice until they were gone.

For me Australia felt like a very small, isolated town 20 years ago, and given that I did live in a small isolated town there you could say it was 40 years ago.

It has a lot to offer if it's what you want, but it really wasn't for me. Two years was enough, and I wouldn't have missed going for the world, and since DD has duel citizenship I may find myself back there one day, but I know now that it's really not the place for me.

Came back after nearly 3 years in Sydney (pre kids). Missed family, friends and culture...having said that, still occasionally pine for the place but could not forsee having kids out there, although I expect going out there with kids will make networking/settling in easier. It's a very tough decision and I don't envy you (having been there and done that!) Good luck whatever you choose

Before I fond mumsnet, back 18 months ago when my baby was a newborn, I had little idea about some of the negative perceptions of Australia that exist. I have since read a number of threads on here, written by people that have lived in Australia, currently live in Australia and have never been that are both eye opening and disturbing.

I don't have anything to say about the comments on weather (savoycabbbage, I never once burnt my bum on a slide growing up here) nor obesity (can't say I noticed) but its the sweeping statements on sexism and racism that irk me (not just this thread, many others). You see, I just can't reconcile the Australia I know with that image.

"4. Generally much more sexist and racist, say 20 years behind UK on these issues."

20 years? How condescending and utter rubbish. How does it make you feel to point your accusatory finger somewhere else, far away, whilst the BNP boils just under the surface of your normality, threatening to tarnish your own national self-image?

We all have our cross to bear, we are all let let down by our country men and women sometimes, but I won't sit here and be condescended to by those who have no cause to be so smug.

Rant over.