Homesickness

[quinne]

Do you ever get over it?
I don't think so in my case because its been four years and I still miss the easiness of just knowing how things work and being confident of being able to communicate with people....

I still get very homesick, after almost 6 years away. It doesn't get easier

I do sometimes.

Especially at the moment when we are vertually housebound due to it being 43o outside & the UK have snow!

At least you can wrap up & play in the snow, here in these temps if you do dare venture out you need to be as covered as possible, so wearing the bare minimum not really an option!

I also get homesick at Christmas. I don't know if I will ever gets used to Christmas in the sun.

And now I feel even more awful because my sister replied to an email I sent her about missing the snow & being too hot by saying 'you decided to move to Australia, so it's tough really, isn't it' and I know she meant it the way it sounds!

Wow, that was pretty harsh of your sister, sandcastles. I know from bitter and long experience that a complaint about one specific aspect of life overseas is usually concealing a broader dissatisfaction about missing home, and you can always do with sympathy at such a moment.

I didn't really get too homesick until I had DD. It was like someone had hit the stopwatch, and I absolutely HAD to get home.

She is like that ninedragons, I guessed I should have expected it.

But yes, a wee bit of sympathy would have been very welcome!

It sounds like your sister still thinks that living abroad is like a permanent holiday in the sun. Maybe she thinks she's been left to cope with everything back home while you have swanned off? Are your parents still alive? It was an unnecessary attach though IMO.

I think my DH and I thought life would be easier out of the UK but the opposite is the truth, especially with children. Some people place a high value on being away from grey weather but I am not sure it was ever a big deal for me and now it counts for nothing compared to my children not knowing their cousins.

attack... i type too fast and don't check for typos! sorry!

I am as homesick as ever and its coming up to 3 years. I can´t ever imagine being happy here.

Just yesterday I ended up in tears as the guy in the pharmacist looked at me funny when I asked for a urine sample pot (am pg and not even sure how to say this in English) Anyway I thought I spoke the language well but he look at me as if I had 2 heads as soon as I opened my mouth. Its a real confidence knocker.

I really miss not having to think about what I´m going to say all the time and a million other things about life back "home"

I've got over it.

Home is definitely this house in which we started our family. I can't remember the last time I felt homesick for the UK. We may have to move back for a few years for DH's job and I don't want to.

I really miss certain people so it's hard saying goodbye after visits. But when I am there I feel 'this place is nice to visit but it's not the same as when I grew up'.

Maybe I'm weird but I don't feel homesick at all. I do miss my family, naturally, but we have such a great time and make such an effort when we are together it makes up for it. I miss the fact that I can't be there for dsis and for my best friend when they have their babies in May. Otherwise this is well and truly home. However I have made some strong friendships in Africa over the years and I believe if you have those, then you can put up with all the difficulties and cultural issues about your adopted homeland, call it a sort of extended family if you will. Also the main tongue here is in English, so that helps. Do you have some good support networks quinne?

I've been here seven years and I think I'm over home sickness. Where I live now is home, and I would miss it dreadfully if we were to leave.

But there are still some aspects of english life I miss, probably seen through rose tinted glasses.

quinne

Yes, my parents are still alive but divorced. My father has 3 girls younger than us, 2 at home (but late teens)and one local.

My mother & I are estranged & have been for several years. So I don't think it is a burden problems my sister has, she is either jealous or have very little empathy with my situation.

But being that I barely hear from her unless I inititate contact, I really have no idea why it gets to me so much!

I moved abroad when my children were 2 1/2 and 12 months old, so I suppose I would have seen a dropping off in my social life whether or not I stayed in the UK. Since moving here, we have made friends amongst the locals and the other ex-pats but somehow we are different. Maybe its because we are the only British family around, all the other families have at least one local parent and the others that are 100% foreigner don't have children. I've got used to it, but I have never got to like it. And I'm beginning to think of where I grew up as some sort of haven whereas I couldn't wait to leave when I was in my early 20s.
We run a business here and I just find it wearing having to always be on our guard about being cheated because we are rich foreigners. I never used to even think that way so living abroad has changed me - made me less naive - but I wish I could go back to more innocent times. (Sound cryptic?!)

I get homesick, on and off sometimes really bad and sometimes it's bearable. I was thinking though, if all my family left UK and moved abroad too would I still feel homesick?

That's the worst thing for us (the dc and I ) not having family around and the unconditional love that comes with it. You can make friends and even find good friends but they can never replace family IMO.

I'm homesick and have been here almost 15 yrs.

Definitely got worse after having dd, as it's suddenly no longer a case of oh well, I can pack and go and be on a flight out of here tomorrow...it's suddenly not just about you, and whether or not I consider here to be home, she does....and so does her father (obviously)

Bebespain- I agree totally about the confidence thing as well...there are still things I insist on dp doing for me, and I still get myself into knots over stupid stupid things like going to the bank (a military operation here, you need at least a whole morning) or yesterday, when had to go to elementary school to put Dd's name down. I just feel everyone is looking at me and laughing.....(I know they're not, logically, at least not all of them)

I know the feeling bucharest. I had a collective parents meeting recently and the teacher was trying to be funny and cracking jokes and I was pretending to laugh, always a second after all the other parents laughed, I just didn't get the jist of his jokes. You sort of feel like a real idiot.

I think it may depend where you go and you go? For me if we ahd stayed in the uk the the il would have made my life hell... and we wouldnt be together happily like we are now! Australia is a long way away from uk but similar in so many ways, same language and similar culture. I get the odd moment of i wish i could just go and see x y and z... I get frustrated that the phone only seems to ring one way... aus to uk... must be broken the other way. my mother is fab but occasionally i can just tell how badly she misses seeing the children grow up.and i find that hard.. however she is moving to france so i still wouldnt see her every week. I have friends who rfing and e amil all the time and those who dont.. we have had a couple of visitors in the 18 months we ahve been here and sonn will have another one. Im in no hurry to go back to the uk for a visit, i figure it will just be a few weks running round seeing people thinking when can i get home please!

For me it's definately got better with time. After I had ds2 I was told I had postnatal depression, looking back I'm pretty sure I just had extreme homesickness and a huge guilt complex about the ds's growing up away from family. I've been here 6 years now and although I still miss friends and family (the latter perhaps with rose tinted glasses as we are usually fighting on the journey from Heathrow to home lol) but I don't miss the UK. I guess I've come to accept life here, it's become easier the more friends I have, the older the ds's are getting and generally the longer I am here. I feel if we went home now it would be like starting again anyway, family and friends have moved on. I don't hanker after wine fueled nights out in London etc etc.... and language probably helped, at least I can still converse in English here.

oh and chloeb2002, it must be a hemisphere thing the phone only seems to ring NZ to UK too

its not a hemisphere thing its a BT thing. Apparently you can't phone or use skype to make a call out of the UK

I hear what you all say about the phone thing...apperently emails only go Aus - UK too, not the other way around..

still homesick after 11 years... it gets worse at xmas time, as we don't have any family and friends around here, and definetly got worse after having DC, probably as all my friends are having babies at the same time as me, but can't "share" the joy. it gets bad in the Summer too, as I miss the good weather. At the same time though, this is the house where we started our little family, and DS's home (though he keeps on saying he wants to stay at my parents when we visit, but that's more to do with the size of the house and outdoor space )

I've been homesick for 18 years. We're moving back in the summer