Subtle Cultural Differences

[smugaboo]

What subtle cultural differences have you noticed between your country of origin and the place you live now? Or between you and your partner who is from a country other than you?

I'm not talking about obvious stuff - but those things that you never counted on, and surprised you - and were hard to explain. I'll give a couple of examples:

My DP (English) says "there again", as in "there again, we could just skip dinner all together and go to the pub." I say "then again" in the same context. When I first heard him say it I thought he had gotten it wrong and I was a bit embarrassed for him. Whoops.

Another one, we say the "hokey pokey", as in 'doing the ...", but my dp swears it is the "hokey cokey" - and I have heard it sung that way since. How in the world did that happen? Chinese whispers?

D'ya know what I mean?

Agree Hokey Pokey is an ice cream and the Hokey Cokey is a dance .
Dh (a kiwi) says 'get out of the road' not 'get out of the way' (or preferably a more polite form!!!!). I can't help it it really winds me up - there is NO ROAD!!! argh.....How are the ds's meant to know when they really should get out of the road!!!

Get out of the road is quite common here in Glasgow too.

they eat with their forks here, and rarely use knives!
how stupid did i feel at thanksgiving (about 12 people there), me telling dd to use her knife to cut the meat. i look round, EVERYONE else has their meat on their fork!!
how strange.

at some of these - Sibble, my Dad is from Sheffield, he says "get out of the road" as well.
My DH (Australian):
thongs - nearly gave me heart failure until I realised he was talking about flip flops
pants - yes, we've done that one too
hokey pokey - yes, that's what he calls the hokey cokey
lollies - took a while to work out he didn't want an actual lollipop
see ya later - to all and sundry, even call centre people on the phone
how're ya going - likewise
double negatives seem to be common - I didn't tell him nothing (instead of anything)
Squark instead of squawk
probably lots more...

DH & I are American. DS spent his formative years in London. Now that we are back stateside, DS has trained all of his friends to speak "English."

If they are hungry, they can have a biscuit (crackers), chips (french fries), fish fingers (fish sticks),or crisps (chips).

They are never to discuss his "pants." It will send him rolling on the floor. First, he'll ask them how they know. Then, he'll inform them he can't return the compliment because they haven't taken their trousers down or pulled their dress up. And when it is cold outside, all of his friends asks for a jumpers now.

If they transgress, he looks earnestly at me and says, "So-And-So needs insert proper word here please.

And I've had to inform all of the adults that when he says "Ta" or "Cheers" he is actually being polite and grateful.

And he always clearly deliniates between football (soccer) and "American football. (Usually said with a minor edge of derision in his tone.)

He won't let them go. It's charming.

poetmum, that's lovely! bless him.
that's another one - chips = "hot chips" in Australia, as chips are crisps.

pee is wee
poop is poo
on the weekend instead of at the weekend
they don't know what a fortnght is!
sucker is a lolly or a mug
freezie is an ice pop
To tell someone off is to give them a right slagging - never something one should do to children

Singapore: DD1 has taken on an international drawl and uses yo-gurt (yo rhymes with so), vite-amins, and laaaaartaaaay. Shop assistants offer to get you a new piece (piece of what I wonder?) and retrenchment = redundancy. Table manners = elbows all over table, pick up large piece of food with chopsticks and bite bits off it. Eat with mouth open. Eeewwww.

Is it true that the correct way of using cutlery in the US is to hold your fork in the left and knife in the right hand to cut your food and put it on the fork, then put your knife down and change hands with the fork to lift to your mouth? Doesn't it take AGES to eat?!

Sibble, does he go for a feed when he is hungry, or wait till it fines up before he goes out?

Kitbit - Americans I have known use their knives and forks in 2 ways, both different from the 'norm' in England ...
Firstly, not using the knife at all. I have seen people use the side of their forks to saw through pieces of roast beef
Secondly, I stayed with a family in Washington who held their K&F in the same hands we do; then they put the fork into the bit of food they wanted to eat, cut it off from the rest with the knife, then put the knife down, transfer the fork to the right hand, pick it up and eat it ... It did take a long time!!

Having lived in Hong Kong from 7 to 16 I can identify with a lot of what is here ... Lollies and thongs from Aussies and Kiwis; also calling beers 'heavies' and 'lights' depending on the alcohol content.

Shops throughout Europe claiming to sell "Kebab" (a general term for all roast meat dishes) when they mean "Doner kebab" (that turning roast).

Americans eating sushi with their hands, soya sauce dripping down their elbows In a very posh Los Angeles restaurant, no less.

CoteDAzur, The Japanese eat sushi with their hands. So, the Americans think that they are being culturally sensitive when they do this. But, the Japanese don't use soy sauce like ketchup. So, they don't end up with it running down their arms.

bigtilly - I do believe he does. He also uses teh phrase - she'll be right. Which when I'm wound up about something also grates and gets the response - she cannot be a she, it is an it and it will certainly not be right!

I'm sure he now does it to wind me up.

THe ds's also have a proper little kiwi accent - voice raising at the end of sentences and especially ds1 who finishes every sentence with an 'aye' which I still hear as a question and have to respond to so exhaustingly spend my whole day saying yes, no or acknowledging the sentence much to dh's amusement.

I should add that teh aye is probably no different to 'know what I mean' that my sister uses at the end of every sentence - Essex girl or Alright???

I have an update on the great Hokey Pokey/Cokey war! (or at least a major international incident).

Firstly, it appears to be disputed as to who wrote it. Some say an Irish song writer called Jimmy Kennedy, who also wrote 'Teddy Bear's Picnic'. However, Robert P. Degan and Joseph P. Brier, both natives of Scranton, Pennsylvania, claim to have written the original song as confirmed by the U.S. Copyright Office in 1996. There are other claims as well.

There are also differences in the way we do the dance. I'll just copy and paste from wikipedia. Hang on ...

US VERSION
Participants stand in the shape of a big ring formation during the dance. The dance follows the instructions given in the lyrics of the song, which may be prompted by a bandleader or another danceleader.

Specific body parts are named, and these are then sequentially put into the ring, taken out of the ring, and finally wiggled around maniacally inside the ring.

After this is done one raises one's hands up to the side of the head, wiggles them, and turns around in place until the next sequence begins, with a new named body part.

A sample instruction set would be:
You put your left leg in
You put your left leg out
You put your left leg in
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around
That's what it's all about...

In some cultures, this step is only repeated after a new chorus,
Oh, the hokey cokey,
Oh, the hokey cokey,
Oh, the hokey cokey,
That's what it's all about.

Similar to the repeat above, the American tradition repeat is:
Do, the hokey pokey,
Do, the hokey pokey,
Do, the hokey pokey,
And that's what it's all about.

]The Dance in the UK
In parts of the UK the entire dance can be quite different. The instruction set would go as follows:

You put your left leg in
Your left leg out
In, out, in, out,
shake it all about.
You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around
That's what it's all about...

On 'you do the Hokey Cokey' each participant joins his/her hands at the fingertips to make a chevron and rocks them from side to side.

Each instruction set would be followed by a chorus, which is entirely different from other parts of the world:
Whoa, the hokey cokey,
Whoa, the hokey cokey,
Whoa, the hokey cokey,
Knees bent, arms stretched, ra ra ra!

For this chorus all participants are stood in a circle and hold hands, on each "whoa" they all raise their joined hands in the air and run in toward the centre of the circle and on "the hokey cokey" they all run backwards out again. On the last line they bend knees then stretch arms, as indicated, and for "ra ra ra!" they either clap in time or raise arms above their heads and push upwards in time.

Sometimes each subsequent verse and chorus is a little faster and louder, with the ultimate aim of making people fall over.

So there you go! Now I understand why I got all confused at the 'ra, ra ra!' bit. Oh, it also says that in NZ its called the Hokey Tokey. Is that true?

Wow, some Wikipedia contributors have far too much time on their hands, don't they?

DH creased up with laughter the other night when we were watching a quiz show on telly. The contestant gave a wrong answer and the presenter said "that's bollocks", which I admit you wouldn't catch Jeremy Paxman doing on University Challenge.

smugaboo, well done! I hold my hands up (literally!) to being a proponent of the last-mentioned version of the hokey cokey, normally carried out at weddings/ birthdays/ student or rowing club dances/ any other large organised drunken event.

Well I am enlightened. I would have looked a right twat shouting ra ra ra and running into the centre on my own . I'm definately a hokey cokey'er. Have just asked dh and ds's friend, both kiwis who hokey cokey and havn't heard of hokey tokey.

Oh oh oh I've got loads...

Traffic lights go straight from red to green without a red-amber.

Pedestrian crossings that ping.

No countdown markers for exits from the highway (resulting in us flying past, saying oh that'll be the sliproad there...)

Cornettos are Drumsticks.

Bedding and towels is called manchester!

A slide is a slipperydip.

Scented toilet roll.

Double-decker trains.

Top loader washing machines.

Free outdoor BBQs in public areas that are actually used.

All these things remind me I am no longer in Blighty.

Come to think of it, you're right, I never saw a top-loader in the six years I lived in the UK. I know they use more water but it's great to be able to chuck in all those annoying extra pairs of undies and tea towels you find after you've started the cycle.

Just you wait for tonight for a REAL "Toto, we're not in Scotland anymore" moment! Have you got plans? People are already setting up their deckchairs in the park beside us, so don't plan on strolling down to a good vantage point at 11.30.

I laughed so hard at the image of Sibble running into the middle shouting RA RA RA and being met by blank stares that I nearly slid off the sofa.

Regarding the pedestrian crossings that ping, years ago I read a story in the paper about a mynah bird that had learned to imitate the green light ping. The council had to hunt it down and kill it before it made a blind pedestrian step onto the road.

kitdip - YES about cutlery.

dh's boss has received comments on how european he is, as he uses his knife after numerous trips to uk

No top loaders in the UK because few houses have utility rooms and so they have to have their washing machines in the kitchen under the counter (or BENCH as the Aussies call it)
LOL re Photos outside the General Pants Co - DH did actually do that with his mate visiting from England
Lollies. Lollies are either Lolly Pops or Ice Lollies to me but here they cover all sweets.
Also NZ/Aussie cultural differences: ICE LOLLIES (UK) = ICE BLOCK (NZ) = ICY POLE (AU)

Still on the subject of cold things: COOL BOX (UK) = ESKY (AU)

Mobile phone = Cell phone

In answer to the question "How are you?", English people will say, "I am very well, thank you" but Aussies and Kiwis say, "I'm good". I say it now too and I cringe when I hear myself say it.

I love the phrase "It's all turned to custard" meaning it's all gone wrong/pear shaped. Kiwis say that more than the Aussies who prefer "It's all gone tits up" which I love too.