from our own correspondent

[teafortwo]

Old thread...
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2423/576865?ts=1222265998268&msgid=12499051

New thread...

to be created below!

Enjoy!

Suedonim, that's why American homes have such huge cellars/ attics/ storage areas. Many people rent storage spaces too.

FOOC in Chicago

I bit the bullet today and took DS ice skating. There are many rinks around the city, including one downtown with fabulous views of the city and we are lucky enough to have one 5 minute walk from our apartment. They are owned by the City so there is no charge to skate (other than $3 for skate hire). DS has often begged to go and I have chickened out, saying he wasn't big enough. But, it seemed unfair to prevent him from trying it just because I didn't want to. So, today, we investigated our local rink. They had tiny, double-bladed ones for young skaters so, booted up, we ventured onto the ice and it was amazing. I managed to stay upright and my three year old can ice skate! It took a little encouragement (and over an hour to go round 3 times) but not much - he could just do it. Wow. If only I had learnt to skate when I was three.

Fooc Greater Manchester

It's cold! very, very cold!

Glad to hear that three years old can ice skate as we are going next week end to the open air one in Manchester, and I was a bit worried for DS3. Actually, I am quite worried for myself too as I have not put skates on for the last 20 odd years! I hope it is like bicycle...

That makes sense, SB. But even so, people must be terribly organised to keep everything in the right place so it's easy to lay hands on it as each festival rolls around.

FOOC Galicia

¡Feliz Día de Reyes! Today, a couple of thousand years ago, the three Wise Men arrived in Bethlehem bearing gifts for the baby Jesus. And 2000 years later, they still make their way into every home in Spain, bringing presents to everyone if they have been good, and coal if they haven't. Being English it seems an awful long time to wait for Christmas presents, but seeing what I was lucky enough to be given, it was worth the wait.

The excitements begin on the afternoon of 5th January, when the Reyes (Three Kings) process into town at the end of a LONG parade, full of fantastically decorated floats carrying sweet hurling children. The streets are thronged with families there to see the Kings arrive and trying to catch as many sweets as possible. At the end there is a chance to go and see the King of your choice, who may give you some sweets if you have been good.

Then, at home children will leave a shoe out for presents, and some food for the camels, along with a small tipple for the Kings. During the night many will dream they hear camel hooves in their apartments, and will awake to discover piles of presents and sweets by their shoes.

The downside to this system is that the kids have one day to play with all their toys, and then it's back to school.

The sales start tomorrow, and there are already queues at some of the big department stores in Madrid. Not for me though, tomorrow is my first day back at work after nearly three weeks' holiday.

Cies, I was thinking about you, over Christmas in the NZ Herald, in the travel section, they had a whole spread on Galicia and surrounding region. Sounded lovely.

It is lovely Sibble .

FOOC Monaco

Today, I would like to share with you the 'glamorous' ante-natal & birth experience in the Princesse Grace Hospital in Monte-Carlo.

I'm now 20 weeks pregnant and desperate to avoid the horror that was DD's birth - completely uninterested doctor who came into the room once, incompetent midwife who did nothing to manage the birth then went on to give me an episiotomy so big that a 1 yr old could pass through it, and who didn't even know how to properly sew me back together. I'm still about the whole thing.

Anyway. I'm now 20 weeks pregnant and here is what I am told by my new obstetrician who is the best doctor and the most caring human being in the hospital:

• he will be there at my birth, regardless of date and time (a positive surprise & highly unusual)
• there is only one form of pain relief (epidural) and it is insane to refuse it because childbirth is so painful (no kidding)
• there is nothing I can do to increase my chances of an easier delivery, except limit my weight gain so baby will be smaller
• because I previously had an episiotomy, my chances of having another one are increased to 50%
• assuming I am nutty enough to refuse epidural and choose to stay mobile during birth, I will still have to lie flat on my back with feet in stirrups for the delivery, so he can see what is going on and give me an episiotomy if necessary (oh please don't inconvenience yourself and bend down for a few minutes)

Ain't I lucky to live here?

CoteDAzure can you really not get any other pain relief over there? what is their reason? Feet in stirrups are we back in time sur Le Rocher?

FWIW, I had an episiotomy for DD1 but none for DS2,DS3and DD4 so with a bit of luck...+ I put the most wheight on for DD4 which was the smallest of them so there is hope too on that side of things. I wish I could smuggle you to the UK where a part for DD1, when I had not quite mastered english, I felt pretty much "in control" of my "giving birth" experience.

"What is their reason?"

Well, probably, that they are French and so are naturally confident that they know what is best for everyone. That happens to be what is easiest for them. Choice is unnecessary and in fact undesirable. Conformity is required.

I sort of remember from another thread that you said you were French. If so, I'm sorry about the offense that the above statement could cause (and probably wouldn't have written it in quite this way if I weren't so ) However, I truly and honestly believe this is a cultural/educational phenomenon whose seeds are sown at maternelle from age 3 - authority shouldn't be questioned, it knows what is best, etc.

FOOC Greater Manchester

No I am not French, just french speaking, I am Swiss so not offended by it at all and in the circumstances, I would feel just like you. I agree with about cultural differences though. I think Swiss people do require "conformity" as well, one of the reasons I have moved away 12 years ago. I would find it very difficult to adapt again to that side of things, I do miss my family a lot though and the beautiful landscape but I adapted a bit too well to British laidback attitude I think.

CoteDAzur. I'm for you. I read through your other thread in disbelief and anger at your treatment. I hope this time round it is better for you.

Gerionine - I thought you weren't French, otherwise you wouldn't write "CoteDAzure", but didn't want to say it and expose myself as a horrid pedant

Busted!

Thank you, Cies.

Oh dear, CoteDAzur, I'm for you because I had such a good birth exp. in France! Far better than UK. I think so much depends on the hospital, but then I guess you don't have much choice in Monaco.

Happy New Year to you all, BTW. First time I've posted in a while .

Brioche - Were you offered any other pain relief than epidural? Around here, nobody has heard of anything else.

Hello CoteDAzur,

I gave birth in France too. We went to the birthing classes (in a big lecture hall with scary OHPs) before the birth. In which they explained they only had one form of pain relief and I was like this - and this and this [scared emotion] but I am so so so so so glad I gave birth in France. Everything was very simple and very cool.

The epidural makes things nice and simple. Are you sure it is a full epidural you will be given? Hopital Foch (where dd landed) gave special ones formulated for child birth that make you numbish (you can feel everything it just doesn't hurt) only from your tummy to your thighs. It has no effect on your brain so all your emotions and feelings are all deeply natural and you won't be in pain. For me it was perfect because I was scared of getting off my face on drugs or being in so much pain it was unbareable but neither of these things happened because it was all so well managed!

I read my magazine, had a chat with dh then pushed a few times and in just 5hrs I was a Mum! Seriusly I went to a beauticians in Paris the week before to 'treat myself' and had found that much more harrowing!!!!

Compared to the experiences my cousins tell me they had of child birth and pain relief back in Blighty - mine was really seriously great!

However, I can completely understand you being very upset if you wanted to experience childbirth to the full - a homebirth, birthing pool and/or other more natural option - this seems not to be done here! If this is what you really want - perhaps like another mner I know you could go back to the UK to give birth - where these options are taken seriously and supported?

Hi teafortwo

Actually, I couldn't care less about "experiencing it" or any such new-age romanticism of childbirth. I gave birth once and despite the epidural, experienced it enough to last me a lifetime. I just want to survive this birth with minimum (or preferably, no) damage.

DD's birth was quite traumatic, and the huge episiotomy & its botched stitching which then got infected made life hell for three weeks afterwards. The first time I changed DD's diapers was when she was three weeks old - I couldn't get up & do anything before that.

I am only considering refusing epidural because all my research since then says that the best way to avoid a tear or episiotomy is to be mobile during labor and give birth upright or on all fours, which is not possible with an epidural.

oh God!!! Poor you!!!! And am at a loss for what to say!

Where are you from originally CoteDAzur? Is there any possibility at all that you could go back there for the big day? How is it doing on the Turkish front?

Cote, sounds awful!!
In the hosp. where DS was born there wasn't much option but you were allowed to take in tens machine and they also had birthing pool and certainly didn't FORCE people to have epidural (only 80% epi rate which is low for France(!). Pool not avl. for me however as I was having vbac so chose mobile epidural as that was my best option (I felt) for getting through labour in one piece. DD facing forwards, got stuck in birth canal and had emergency section for foetal distress at 10 bloody cms dilated. DS also facing forwards but because whole thing much more relaxed and less panicky midwives were able to turn him and he came out the right way. Also no nonsense about feet in stirrups (EEK!). Had extra monitoring for DS as was vbac but was able to move around to a certain extent (and I could still feel contractions, epidural or no epidural!) All a much less stressful experience and midwives were really supportive - particularly as I turned up on my own in an ambulance in the middle of the night and bloody ambulance men made me get out my CHEQUE BOOK and pay them before they'd hand me over to the midwives. DH fortunately made it to hosp. just before DS was born but that's another story!

Brioche - Your experience sounds much more eventful than mine, tbh Mine was a straight-forward French birth - epidural, flat on back, feet in stirrups, disinterested doctor, incompetent midwife, and the standard episiotomy

It is raining in Abu Dhabi at the moment.

Raining I tell you!

I've opened the window to watch it and smell the wet air.

FOOC Japan
Cote Have been reading your other thread and thought how like the typical Japanese experience of birth it was.
I think a couple of other MNers in Japan said the same thing.
Except that here, there are very few hospitals that offer epidurals either. So in fact, no pain relief whatsoever.
I was OK with it for my births, as they were both short (DD 3hours, DS 90 minutes).
My first birth was the whole enema, shaving, flat-on-back, stirrups, doctor popping in only at the end, 90 year-old midwife, episiotomy, no-rooming in...etc. horror story type thing....
but the second was lovely - wonderful midwives, birthing chair (nearly upright), small tear, immediate breasfeeding and rooming in.
In Japan, they keep you in for a week for a VB, and 10 days for a C-section, with lots of help for breastfeeding, and lots of TLC.
However, home births, pools etc, are almost unheard of.
They have the best maternal/newborn survival rate in the world (I seem to remember) and because its the norm, no-one really complains about the outdated stuff.
Good luck with trying to get the birth you want

Gorionine
I have a question about Swiss child allowance, perhaps you could help me with. Could you email me? kindersurprise (at) yahoo.de

Thanks