Neue Stifte, neues Maeppchen: new German school thread

[finknottle]

Am starting in positive manner as we're 7 weeks into the new school year and all 3 of mine are settled and happy.
Well, d won't be if she does have head lice and has to stay off because she loves school so much.
S1 is in the second year of secondary & still thriving. Is class prefect for the first time which was a great ego boost.
S2 is in Y4 & has been doing better in class but his test results are still lousy (unfortunate choice of phrase if we are lice-ridden) and his teacher is convinced it's the language issue. He's trying harder which is a good sign. He lost the prefect election by 1 vote to his best friend and was chuffed to bits to be his "deputy" and that so many voted for him.

Had forgotten how wonderful the "erste Klasse" is.

I know, it's notthe end of the world is it - it's just so unfair the way this system works.

The meeting this afternoon was with 2 teachers and I could just tell, one of them knew dd and likes her but the other one looked as if she had a pole up her backside and she obviously doesn't know or like dd and isn't prepared to give her a chance. I stayed cool though and said what ZZZen suggested - that I was still getting to know the different schools and hadn't decided yet where I want dd to go. All the time I was thinking , what is the point in this discussion when the parents get to decide anyway.

I took the Berlin year 3 report with me (all grade 2 and a 1) and the nice teacher said we will take the year 3 grades into account when we write the Empfehlung and the sour faced one said no we never do that no no ...then I just answered well we're right there for dd and she works hard so I'm sure she is settled now and she will get all the help she needs at home etc - what else could I say? I wanted to hug one of them and kick the other one.

I think the point of the discussion is that you are supposed to say O teacher, you are a qualified professional with letters after your name, clearly you know far better than I (who am merely an unqualified mother) what would suit my child....

But if you pay lip-service, and stick by your decision, then hopefully you'll brush through. Congratulations on your tactfulness, I know how hard it is, and dont usually manage it!!
In bayern, the teacher's word is all that counts, hence dd in the hauptschule.

She won a reading competition yesterday, but it was only among HS pupils, they are not allowed to compete against gym or RS (dd could beat them all ). Still, it is a small CV point when trying to get her into the RS.

ds (in the 4th Klasse) was just ill for 3 days, he had headaches etc and didnt feel like doing homework. Yesterday we had 3 days worth, he was up til midnight, as would not go to bed til it was all done, and couldnt start til I got home. His nachhilfe tutor had a house full of sick chidlren herself, so couldnt have him....his teacher just doesnt understand how quickly everything can go titsup, she will certainly expect all homework to have been done.

So the squirmish with the enemy is behind you for now. Bet you are not feeling too good. Mail me if you like.

What did they have to say in the end admylin, that they felt she would not cope with gymnasium? Did they say that? Or they just hummed and harred and wanted to know where you planned on applying?

How did you NOT kick the nasty one though? Well done for your reticence. I think NN is right they expect you to believe they know better than you do what is right/good for your dc.

Where do they get this idea from though?

debriefing in the hut is excellen

when/how are you going to try and move dd from HS NN? I am quite angry on her behalf. How dare they keep her down like that.

I am not sure yet. I still have to get the real story from the RS, have only had it second hand.

It's not encouraging that dd's teacher was talking about the wirtschaftsschule though, which means that she thinks dd wont make the RS. She was at the RS open evening.

dds ave grades are English 1, Maths 2 and De 3 at the moment, with good grounds for hoping that the De will improve (she got one 4 near the beginning of the year).

I am going to take dd along to the RS, she looks good, so wont do her chances any harm...but my main effort is still concentrated on getting out of bayern, or getting a job with int school as benefit.

Bayern is quite tough re the schooling, isn't it, from all I've heard. Shame because I'm sure with the setting it isa beautiful place to live.

I don't know times change of course but a good friend of mine got the Realschulempfehlung from his primary (this of course is 30 years ago now). His teacher didn't like him he says and she said his handwriting was atrocious and he would fail at gymnasium. His dp still applied to the Jesuit Gymnasium in Berlin which is supposed to be one of the best 3, probably the best, and had an interview with the Rektor who agreed to take him straight away despite the school being over-subscribed and his notes very poor all round. Just said to the dp "unsere schöne deutsche Sprache bringen wir ihm auch noch bei".

He's very very smart. Abitur all 1's. Full professor at the age of 35, pretty unusual for Germany.

Just goes to show I think that this Empfehlung business is a load of rot. They may genuinely try to assess dc fairly but it is way too young to decide a person's future

So they didn't tell you what they thought? Ours come in with an initial by every child's name G, R, H and the occasional R? or G? where they're not coming down one way or the other. I only know cos s1's teacher accidentally uncovered the sheet while h & the head were swapping blows.
Only had the head there as she was s1's maths teacher. Funny how things would have turned out differently if he'd been in another class.

Realised rather belatedly that my "Debriefing in hut" banter is not v diplomatic here. Arf. In my defence I'd have used it on any thread, not that I have much time to post elsewhere atm. I do post on Spooks in Telly Addicts, partly where I got the debriefing idea. I'm reading about those handsome young RAF pilots, all fur-lined flying jackets and moody brows and tragic doomed love affairs with bright young women. No wonder I've just found 5 unpaid bills on my desk.

What pissed me off most about s1's teacher with the whole Empfehlung crap was her saying, "Unser Schulsystem ist so durchlässig" which a) isn't true and b) is no sodding comfort to a 9-yr old who's just been told he's too thick for Abitur & university while all of his closest friends aren't.

On the funnier side, he's just got a(nother) 1 for an English test with 58 points out of 57 (sic)
Was pleased to see the teacher had awarded him extra points for spotting a mistake in the Listening Comprehension bit. Made up for his losing a point for misspelling "tea" - I nearly fainted with the shock! Of all the words to misspell... Not all teachers would go to any effort to ensure he gets full or nearly full marks for tests.

Poor dd. I had to tell her abit of what they said. I told her that the German teacher really likes her and praised her but that the other teacher said she has to be more active and join in more or she just can't give her better marks. Well dd had selective mutism really badly for a while but seemed to have got over it. Last night she couldn't speak and went all cuddly and just sat on my knee for an hour before she went to bed. This morning when i asked her what she wanted for breakfast she couldn't speak even to me and just pointed at what she wanted.

She was doing so well, joining in now and then, trying her best and enjoying school but now I can tell she is so fed up that her efforts haven't been recognised and I just know the cow of a teacher isn't the type to even think of acknowledging selective mutism as an excuse (her old teacher in Berlin did) and even if she did, she would say that sort of child doesn't belong in Gymnasium.

Wish my h would go and have blows with some of these idiots, he just leaves it all to me. I haven't even told him about it all.

Neighbour is coming in for a cup of tea later and I'll bore her with it for a while. She's sympathetic as has 3 grown up dc. She just keeps saying am I glad I don't have school dc anymore!

that is the worst thing isnt it, the children try so hard, and get so much discouragement. stick to your guns.

Your poor d! Did you tell her you think the other one is a grumpy bat?
At the risk of sounding obsessed, have you thought about a Gesamtschule as they are geared towards helping children with any kind of Förderbedarf? Plus she can be in the Gymnasium stream without the pressures.

If you think she'll thrive at Gymnasium, then send her and do what I've started belatedly. Ring and make an appointment with the head. They can't refuse and I use the bilingualism thing as a reason. They tend to be far more interested in children who speak English anyway (sad but true) and it isn't solely a pretext in our case. I don't think it hurts when they meet you and see how engaged you are etc.

Plus I felt so much more involved actually doing something than feeling battered about by the system. Ultimately didn't always help, s1 didn't get a place at the GS but they are bound by the Losverfahren to a certain extent and if we'd lived in the catchment area I think he would have.

Lots of German parents wouldn't dare make an appt, daft I know. Others wouldn't think it appropriate, the system just runs and you run after it. I say, use all available means to get what you think is best for your children.

I know, and on the way to school this morning ds was worrying as he has a big Erdkunde test and dd is waiting fir last maths test results - and I said to myself FFS I didn't have an exam 'til I was 12 at secondary school. It's not fair. Ds was learning last night 'til 10pm then I told him to stop and go to sleep.

Yes finks I would send her to the IGS nearby if she still struggles to get her math grade up. The cow was saying her last test was a 4, that means hauptschule. Then I said but you have to take into account that the first test was at the beginning of the year and you hadn't hardly taught any maths, infact it was a test based on the 3rd year stuff and as you know dd went to school in Berlin and curriculums do vary from Bundesland to Bundesland and that is why dd got bad a mark. She sort of smirked , I wanted to punch her but I was sitting on my hands and smiling and nodding.

argghh! yes, the first test result of the year is always the worst. dd got 4 in De, which is dragging her average below 2,5.

that sounds like a typical remark that the teachers here would make as well. when you consider that "HS mark" == "shelf stacking in aldi".....well you know what I mean!!

God I sound so strident. Suppose I'm just determined not to through or have another child of mine go through, that hell of s1's Y3 & 4.

Him in tears and stressed all the time, coming downstairs late at night, unable to sleep for chronic anxiety. I honestly think I only realised what anxiety is during that time, worry, stress, etc., yes, but that insidious pull in your stomach the whole time and the feeling of helplessness as s1 floundered and tried so hard to please. Horrid. His teacher is a kind soul and would smile encouragement at him but it was heartbreaking watching him learn and strain and be knocked back. No child should have to worry about their future aged 9.

No wonder I'm on the barricades... and that I'm so enthused by the new changes and I get to put my 2 cents worth in with the head about what's important for the parents, and I get to vote on it.
Mind you, I use now what I've learned from that time, I don't think I would have been objective enough back then.

Funny that most resistance to the new changes is coming from the parents, not the teachers. Yesterday one mum told me she thinks it's ridiculous her child won't have 10 dictations in Y3, how will the teacher measure her Leistung? I pointed out (completely without sarcasm) that there are new mechanisms in place, just not in the old "we will now work on Lernwörter for 2 weeks and have panic stations about The Dictation", cancelling friends coming to play, Papa practising every evening while younger brother has to amuse himself as child must get a good Note for The Dictation.
The Mum was unconvinced.

She actually said "that means Hauptschule"?

Why are they so nasty about it though? I don't get all the smirking. Like power mad freaks. Thank goodness the other teacher was nice. Will be diff applying to gymnasium if she gets a HS Empfehlung I think. However I agree with finks, do whatever you can for your dc and don't just do what they say.

You know, I'm beginning to wonder if our teachers aren't mellowed by the wine here.

I cannot imagine even the worst (like the one who hasn't changed his lessons for 20 yrs and sends me letters home about missing music homework from s2) harping on about ONE bad mark, esp at the beginning of term and esp when the child has moved to a new school, where you rightly point out, they have a different curriculum. I know some love to be the One Who Knows Better but that's mad.

You know if s2 doesn't get a place at the GS I will be here in floods of tears. Sigh.

I heard this week of a boy who is at a local Realschule who now wishes he were at the GS because, "Wir haben jetzt die Hauptschüler bei uns" i.e. his school is now a new "Realschule Plus".
Some of these are RS and HS together, "Regionalschule" (allowing streaming so you can be in a higher set for German than Maths) and some of which are "Kooperative Realschule" meaning that the pupils can go the Gymnasium in the Oberstufe and do Abitur and they also offer the Fachhochschulreife.

I pointed out that if he were at the GS he'd also have the HS at the school and his mum piped up, yes, but not so many and he'd have the Gymnasium pupils too..
Attitudes will change v slowly here.

Yes but as nigbynight says, it was the first test of the year, new school, horrid exhausting move just behind us. I feel like asking the nasty teacher for a meeting because I feel as if I should have said more and not just smiled and nodded when she said that. Although when she said a 4 was hauptschule she was talking about one maths test not her final report so she shouldn't have been saying that.

Insane.

Thank heavens for MN, I'd have no hair left by now.
Am off to make a hot chocolate and dunk my (yes MY) chocolate Santa into it.

OMG I now feel like a prize prat. I have just checked with the RS the truth of all the rumours that are flying around

They said that with an average of 2,0, dd could pass from the 6th class HS to the 7th class RS. Honestly, our town IS "Lass die Leute Red'n" but I really should know better than to believe it.

So the RS is within dd's grasp!!! She needs a couple more solid marks in Maths and De to convince her teacher that the last couple of 2's she got weren't just a fluke, and OMG she could be there next year.
(Am not even thinking about Gym, because it's so stressy in Bayern, much better to do RS and then switch for the Abitur)

Good for her! Should be a great boost. Wish we were clever enough to rig electronic aids when she does her next tests!
Sorry, been watching "Spooks"!

oh god, it would be such a huge boost for our whole family if someone manages something at school, after so much failure.

Well done and good luck to her! I have also thought about the Realschule and später abi path. I don't understand why everyone makes such a fuss about Gymnasium when you can do it other ways too...that's what gets me confused. Keep thinking hang on have I missed something here.

Well it is possible that they lose a year when switching from the RS to G?

But I think it comes from the old days when it wasnt so easy to make the switch. Plus a lot of snobbery of course.

Gym in By is particularly stressed because they have shortened the time by 1 year, but not reduced the syllabus...tears all round. Would def not suit dd, who will flourish in a less stressful environment I think.

On t'other hand, we don't get stuff like this here, do you?

lunch boxes

3 children though kiga 3 yrs each = 9 yrs
1 x 5.5 yrs school
1 x 3.5 yrs school
1 x 0.5 yr school

Total: 18.5 yrs worth of snack boxes, ne'er a comment.