Neue Stifte, neues Maeppchen: new German school thread

[finknottle]

Am starting in positive manner as we're 7 weeks into the new school year and all 3 of mine are settled and happy.
Well, d won't be if she does have head lice and has to stay off because she loves school so much.
S1 is in the second year of secondary & still thriving. Is class prefect for the first time which was a great ego boost.
S2 is in Y4 & has been doing better in class but his test results are still lousy (unfortunate choice of phrase if we are lice-ridden) and his teacher is convinced it's the language issue. He's trying harder which is a good sign. He lost the prefect election by 1 vote to his best friend and was chuffed to bits to be his "deputy" and that so many voted for him.

Had forgotten how wonderful the "erste Klasse" is.

nighbynight. Your situation sounds appalling. I would go mad if I thought everyone in the village was gossiping behind my back. Even if you can't move back to UK atm is there any chance you could move to another area?
If I were you though I'd be tempted to go for the grotty poverty. If you move back now you may be surprised at what you can afford. There might not be a better time for house prices/exchange rate.

I think we've been very lucky with dd's teacher in the 3. and 4. Klasse. She comes across as being very patient and kind towards the children. Ds also has her for one class (religion) and says that she's his favourite teacher.

Have you read this thread yet nighbynight? Made me homesick, even if I left h and went back I'd have to live off benefits at first, I still get a real pain in my heart when I read it and if I put the proms on youtube it makes me even worse!

Must admit I've never experienced life at your end of UK so have no idea probably. I hope you manage to get through the next couple of years. It's so maddening to se edc unhappy at school when it should be the best years of their lives.

Think I've got ds to understand that he has to only write the stuff they had in class. He said you know what mum, every time I get a correct answer it'll be like my fist getting abit closer to the teacher to punch her

You're right taipo, a nice teacher makes all the difference. My 2 went to the same school in Berlin but ds had a rubbish teacher , all the dc disliked her but dd was so lucky to get a motivated, nice teacher who obviously still wanted to get the best out of each and every one of his pupils. He made miracles happen with 2 boys who would otherwise have been left in the naughty corner to rot.

Last time I looked, the houses on the council estate where we came from, had reduced from 180,000 average to about 155,000 average.

Id have to get a demanding job to afford one, and if I got made redundant, we'd lose it.
In 1998, the same houses were 70 000.

Just looked again, they are being advertised at 170 - 175 000. Will probably sell for a bit less than that. Still ridiculously high.

admylin - my ds1 says similar things. I hate how much they hate the school, but I dont rate it either, I must admit, and I dont have to go there every day like they do.

Mm, I see what you mean about the house prices and having to rely on one income in the middle of a recession isn't exactly ideal.

Mine don't hate school atm but they're not exactly enthusiastic about it either and I don't know any children who do really like it. Dh sailed through school and always used to praise the system (he's changing his mind now) but many adults I speak to say they hated it.

The daughter of an acquaintance went to England on an exchange program recently. She came back thinking it was paradise, because the teachers were so nice! and they spent so much time, even break times, helping the children.

I keep hoping that if my children can make it to the RS, that would be the best solution - possibility to do the abitur, but without the stress of Gymnasium. I am hoping that the primary school could be the worst part of it, because the system expects them to study like GCSE or A Level students, and tehy arent yet capable of it.

I'm hoping that too - that primary school is just something they have to get through and that they'll hopefully settle into the system as they get older. Don't know how realistic that is since I keep hearing reports of teenagers at Gymnasium burning out due to the amount of pressure on them.

I teach students who are doing the Wirtschaftsabitur. Most of them went to RS and none of them found it very stressful so maybe that is a sensible route to take. They will have the same chances as the Gymnasium pupils to go on to university afterwards.

Good news - excellent news for once:

S2 has a place in the IGS Skin of his teeth, fewer than half of applicants did. Tbh, it was s1 being at the similar school which swung it, he had a sibling advantage - it was a recent decision at LEA level I hadn't heard of so the waiting was cripplingly tense. Esp after his appalling report. He is trying more but it's a daily battle with homework and trying to get him to organise himself. He has "stomach-ache" still when he scares himself about repeating the 4th year but as long as his marks don't get worse, he should be OK.

His teacher is still being great, a lot of that is not just because I'm chair of the parent govs but because she genuinely wants to help him. Have seen enough of the others up close now to know she's one of the better ones, probably the only one who even considers that she may have failed a pupil in some way.

Am sick to death of the constant strain of s2's school work. We now have to see if he can get through his next maths test. The teacher is going to show me what he has to learn - they only have 3 tests left and it would boost him no end not to get a 5

S1 (Y6) won the school reading contest in Dec and the Kreisentscheid this week - first time a pupil from his school has won it. He also beat all the pupils from the Gymnasien, took great pleasure in telling that to the teacher who in Y4 wanted to give him a HS recommendation. Tbh I was so gutted he wasn't going to Gymnasium when he first started having problems and now we have constant reminders of how important it is to find the right school for your child.

Fingers crossed for s2 and the IGS, but they have "individuelle Förderpläne" so am v hopeful. Am also v aware that my being involved in all 3 schools makes a big difference, it shouldn't and I couldn't if I worked, but if that what it takes...

That all sounds like great news finknottle. Hard work though , being involved in 3 schools as you say.

What are all these reading competitions? Nighbynight had her dd in one too - never heard of them yet up here? Do they have to stand up infront of an audience? Or a jury? Anyway well done to your ds1 for winning. What did he have to read? (Getting ideas incase we do get something like that up here!)

Ds is entäuscht. He has started science lessons atlast, waited all his life and it's so boring. They've had 3 double lessons so far and he hasn't found it any good. Another reason to get ourselves over to UK - the school I would be sending him to there would offer biology, physics and chemistry (award winning science school) from September. He would love it.

Dd had a Diktat last week, we were told which text it would be and we practised it every day. She could do it with maybe 1 mistake at the end. Then she did it in class and got 5 mistakes and a grade 3. She was so fed up especialyl as we practised it so many times she knew it off by heart. She didn't even make spelling mistakes, she left letters out like in Gänsen she wrote Gäsen.

Great news finknottle! I was wondering whether or not your ds had got a place at the IGS. And good for you to get so involved in your dc's schools.

Admylin, how frustrating for your dd. Do you think it was nerves that caused her to make the mistakes? It's just too easy to make a few small mistakes and your mark goes right down - so demoralising. I wonder why they still insist on making dictations such an important part of the curriculum? It certainly isn't done in the UK anymore and I wonder if there are any other countries which still rely so heavily on them, especially at primary level.

Yes taipo, it is nerves. Both my dc suffer from the dreaded Prüfungsangst at their tender ages of 9 and 10!

Went to a teacher-parent meeting for ds and I asked what we could do as ds can do all the work at home but he panicks in the exam but the teacher just shrugged it off, nothing we can do blah blah. He didn't say anything to really motivate ds either. They really don't care if the dc do well. Atleast dd's teacher said a few motivating words to dd. I took ds into the meeting with me this time but it was a waste of time.

On Friday I meet the German teacher and then I'll see what he says about the language side of things. I'm not even going to speak to the English teacher - waste of time.

By the way I'm asking for advice over in education - secondary if any of you can add anything. I'm collecting good arguments for moving back to UK asap but I really need to be prepared with lots of arguments and examples before I speak to h.

arguments welcome especially Ernest could give me some tips from your decision talk with your dh.

well it was worth a try but I don't think I'd ever take my dc into a meeting at the school admylin, just going on my experiences.

I don't think your dh objects to moving to the UK though, does he? For him it's a matter of having the right job to move to. Or is he very happy generally to stay in Germany and feels at home there?

ooh and congrats to the happy mums on the thread! Well done taipo/finks. Good to see things working out well for some of you.

ZZZen, ds's teacher told all his class mates that they should come to the meeting! I thought, oh great that means he must be going to give them some encouraging words or something, but not really.

Dd waited outside and then her teacher called her in to join us and to praise her and tell her what she could do to improve her grades so all in all that was quite positive.

trying to think of some po9litcally correct response to that one but failing

FGS eh admylin?

Admylin, was talking to my friend last night about Gymnasium. Her d is v bright & good at school. Got G rec after being in Germany for 2 yrs and only starting to learn German then - in y3. She is pretty much at the top of her class, and still stresses over whether she'll make it to Y7. Apparently on average 5 out of 30 in each class are sent to RS after y6. Her mum couldn't believe the stress and pressure even on her d.

I can't help but think once you start the UK ball rolling, it'll help. I can understand your holding back but I think suspending brain and letting mouth blurt can work wonders sometimes.

I know the crap your h spouts about millions of people being happy here but you aren't. Your children aren't. There isn't anything you can do to change the system or the failings of individual teachers. You can leave though. And failings, flaws at home never seem as bad because they are only one aspect of life at home. Here, or often as an expat, failings in one area colour your whole experience and are magnified till it's hard to find any sense of balance or even reason.

And (deep breath, might be out of order) your h doesn't seem to care much about you and the children being happy or not. You can't let things carry on as they are.

Email me if you like. It is a huge step I know. On the other hand, it's doable. Loads of support here from us. Always.

I know, the class will shrink in size - ds's class has already had a few Versetzunggefährdet letters sent out for year 5 (not to him yet) and in year 6 I'm sure quite a few will go.

If we stay on I think IGS is the only civilized way to go, less stress and hopefully better teaching methods. Ds's Gymnasium teacher is retiring next year but he doesn't give me the impression of enjoying what he does and shrugs things off too easily. I bet he has all his lessons planned from his long years in teaching and just has to show up at school every day. He does most things without having to think about it. On the other hand his young fresh English teacher should really still be motivated and into her job but even ds says he thinks she can't be enjoying it as she's so fed up and she doesn't make it fun or give out praise, just stress and more stress all round.

I've lost your email again finknottle. Last time I wrote you'd just had problems with your server or mail service and I think you changed addresses. Just send me your latest one to admylin at g m x dot de.

Yes, the server was down that time, one of h's routine upgrades...
Have mailed you.

Admylin, your h didn't actually go to school here himself though, did he?

I really think it could be a case of now or never. I'm sure if you go back now your dc will be able to adjust relatively easily. Might not be the case in a couple of years.

I also think you can't carry on with things as they are. You've more or less put or life on hold while your h gets on with pursuing his career. That wouldn't be so bad if you were happy but you're not and (deep breath) I think it probably is rubbing off on your dc in addition to all the school stress.

I think you know what you need to do and it sounds as though you will have the support of your dp. And of course we are all here for you.

Was just wondering today, how are the dc doing in German? Especially from year 6 onwards I don't think I can help much more. Do your dc just manage it or do you have a German speaker to back you up at home?

Taipo, no my h didn't go to school here . He went to state school then a private catholic priest's school in Bangladesh. He just made the grade and had to use Beziehungung to get into university in Pakistan as there are so many applicants that usually only the best get in to study certain subjects. By best I mean 100% to 98% pass rates only get in. He had to study Pysiology as he was no where near good enough to be a medical doctor.

That's why he's got this 'thing' about the dc studying right into the night if needs be. I agree they should study into the night for their exams, when they are 15 or 16 but not when they are 9 and 10

well I'm not the big expert on this but I think admylin (and well this is what I did actually as you know) is consider where your dc's life is likely to be. Are they likely to finish their school education in Germany? Will they study/train here or will they be off like a rocket overseas when they're done with school?

I was 100% sure my dd would choose to move to an English speaking country or overseas somewhere to study and with that in mind, it didn't seem any point battling on with the German system IYSWIM. Until she started school (and hated it), I think she considered herself at least as German as British, if not more so. However with the schools (and me going on at home about "German schools" as if they were the spawn of the devil probably), she did feel more British than German, ie she rejected the German side because she rejected the schools.

I think if you are going to be here till they finish school and this is where their life is going to be, the only thing to do is to allow them to become German. This is actually what I did with dd until the school thing went haywire. She was basically a German kid with an English speaking home, although I was never rigorous about that either. As far as I was concerned, she could be German since that is where we lived.

I also think that trying to maintain equal standards in German and English education can hold them up and they need to have one strong(er) language as their language of education. In a way I liked bilingual education (but mostly I liked the UK-style teaching input), however I think you do your dc a favour when you allow them to function mostly in the language of the country they live in. It is hard to spread yourself in two languages to the same extent IYSWIM.

Just a thought. I know it is hard when you are not happy in a place but if you did have to stay, I would try to let go off the English a little. Try to always speak positively and respectfully about the country and its language/culture in front of the dc, the way immigrants for example in America are expected to behave and be happy to be Americans. I know it feels a bit odd but I think if they are to do well in the German system, you might have to go down that track.