About being a Mum in Switzerland?

[FeelingReluctant]

Have namechanged as nothing certain yet - am just doing background research!

Dh has a possible job relocation to Zürich and has visions of a rosy, perfect lifestyle - I'm a bit more reserved and from what I've read so far, it seems that SAHM's are the norm which would be a bit of a shift in role for me.

I have 2 children, a 2 year old who has been in nursery (a small cosy one and loves it) for about a year and a 4 month old. If we decide to move, it is highly likely that it would be in the new year (the children will be 2 1/2 and 9 months). Have looked at nurseries online and have come to the conclusion that they are very expensive, hard to get in to, and not really common for under-3's. Also saw that all through school years, children are sent home for a 2 hr lunchbreak and of course the mum is expected to be at home then.

So my qu to mums in Switzerland is, is this true? How is it to be a mum there? I'm guessing if nurseries are not the norm, then there are M&T groups to mix with other children? My A-level German has gone the way of my pre-children waistline and was never Swiss German anyway - how much of a problem would that be? Should the children go to school there, what is the level of education like (dh convinced it is the best in the world, but curious to hear from parents who have actually experienced their children in the Swiss education system)?

I'll admit, I've been spoilt with the opportunity of the nursery near us, it has been an absolute godsend (especially as we already live abroad from family and close friends) and I'm dreading the thought of entertaining both children round the clock (I also admit that I'm a crap full-time mum and although I'm enjoying mat leave now, I'm not sure how I'll cope with 2 small children on my own, day-in, day-out with dh working long hours and zero support network).

So, to all you mums in CH, what can I realistically expect? [nervous grin emoticon]

|But basically, yes, it's all true!

Yes its all true. One of my friends has children in different schools and they have completely different holidays, they overlap by about three days! She also has to be at home for her children's lunch everyday, so its quite hard to organise meetups with her now. In some of the schools around where I live corporal punishment is still acceptable, though I must stress SOME, not all. I cant comment on any other aspect of schools here other than it is the norm for children to walk to school alone from the age of 6. It is really frowned upon to take your child to school yourself here (in my area at least).

A lot differs by canton too. We currently live in a canton (not Zurich) that heavily penalises families who have two salary earners. Simply by moving over the border into another canton you can save 6000 francs a year in tax! As I am a SAHM I get 300 francs a month from the canton, which I would lose if I worked. I looked into nurseries for my DD and we were quoted about 120 francs for a full day which was way out of our price range. In the larger cities there are quite a few places to get together with other mums, I go to one in a small town that is completely free. There are usually lots of other expat mothers at a similarly loose end! Have you joined the expats in switzerland and expats in Zurich yahoo groups? They can give you a much better idea of what is available in the area.

We are getting ready to move away from Switzerland after three years here and I will miss the fresh air, amazing scenery, great outdoors life, great medical and dental care, quality food and all the friends we have made, but I wont miss the smoking, the xenophobia (we are in a small town where it is more pronounced) and the emphasis on SAHM.

Hope something there helps.

yes, it's true. many plusses and some minuses about ch.

Also available for further Q

frowns & smiles & waves at sauerkraut. Have you forgotten me now I'm a kraut ?????

Sorry for starting a thread and then running off (have my parents visiting atm).

Thanks for your replies, hmmmmmm...!

Sauerkraut, will email you my number and skype (if you have that?) Thanks for your offer!

I haven't joined the yahoo groups, mainly because it isn't definite that we are going yet, I'm just trying to gather info to be prepared.

At least it sounds like if we do go, then there'll be some other bored mums with (also bored!) toddlers and babies?!

I know I had a whole host of other qu's up my sleeve, but my mind is just blank now! Just wanted to reply to this thread while I had 5 mins so you didn't think I was abandoning it.

Will be back to pester you all

Join the groups anyway - I did when we thought we might be relocating. I just explained that to the moderator.

In the event DH commuted weekly from UK - Geneva for almost two years and we had some great holidays over there. I still wish we'd had the chance to live there though. DD was quite young - about 6yo - and it would have been a great opportunity for us all.

Definitely join the groups - I'm still a sleeping member despite coming back to UK 3 years ago and lots of people ask speculative questions there before moving. It isn't easy to integrate into the Swiss culture or be accepted so life can be isolating but there is a significant expat community in Zurich(over 20%) which will welcome you and show you the ropes.

The local private nurseries are usually daycare including lunch rather than sessional but yes they cost ££ and half a day is almost as much as a full day. The lunchtime thing comes at Kindergarten/school age in the local system where you get combinations of odd hours and half days with a long lunch break. The international schools are similar hours to UK,ie all day, and there is a (very) gradual move towards all day local schooling although many use a local Mittagtisch or childminders (Tagesmutter) to bridge that gap. Realistically you are several years form needing to encounter that and would only do so if you worked too - it isn't that easy for expat women to find work locally unless you teach or have transferrable skills. I believe kindergarten(roughly aged 4-6) is gradually becoming compulsory but the English/bilingual ones can accccommodate this.

There are also local playgroups, Mums and Tots (expats run several themselves), and familiar international groups like Kindermusik and Gymboree. The swimming pools have good facilities for kids, there are great playgrounds and excellent opportunites to sit by the lake or go for walks in safety.

We moved back after 4 years there, dd was born in Zurich, mainly because we felt the expensive international schooling wasn't that great, our local terms which part funded ds there and some of our accommodation costs were due to expire, and the children were a suitable age to transfer into UK system . Had we stayed on and put dd in the local school system she would only be starting school this August, aged almost 7 - she's just done Year 2 here and can't imagine the frustration she'd have felt otherwise !

hth

and this site might give you some ideas for preschools, playgroups and activities as well as other useful info.

An international move is such a big vchange though - so much to do and learn, that I doubt you'd be bored for a long time, if that helps

That's fine, shall wait for your number!

Not at all, you Bavarian, you . Just sooooooooooo crap at e-mailing and stuff. In fact, I shall e-mail you now!

SauerKraut - have emailed you

Ernest - I have moved abroad once before (about 8 years ago) and I found it such a faff with bureaucracy etc and very unsettling - took me ages to settle and I'm just tired from even thinking about going through all that again. Dh is the exact opposite - has lived in 5 different countries (for 5 years or more each) in his life and loves moving.

Will join those yahoo groups.

LIZS - why did you feel that the schooling wasn't that great? Am curious because dh is utterly convinced that the Swiss education is the best in the world (although I agree, we're a way from that yet!)

Bugger - forgot to change my name - oh well, am a very ramdom poster on mn anyway (no time!), so haven't 'outed' myself that much!

God it sounds dreamy!!! Can you imagine being encouraged to be a SAHM instead of being forced out to work like you do here in the UK. Sounds like heaven!

I lived in Lausanne Canton de Vaud, when i was little in the late 1970's and it was great.
Yes, we did have long lunches and mum was always at home.
But the best part was the summer when we would have a procession through Lausanne and dress up in school made outfits and then we would all go to a funfair.
Loved it so much, then we had to move back to UK.

Meant to come back and update you all on this but then forgot (memory like a seive and all that!)

Anyway, thanks for all your messages and thanks to SauerKraut for a lengthy phonecall. In the end we have decided to stay where we are for the time being. The childcare is so good here and I am planning to go back to work next year. We'll re-assess next year once we've tried both of us working for a bit (the job opportunity is such that it's possible for dh to move later on as it's a matter of moving offices within the same (small) company). So still a possibility but not as immininent and am no longer being dragged kicking and screaming