Friede, Freude, Eierkuchen : German Corner 3 - life goes on

[SSSandy2]

Other thread was getting a bit full. Alles wie gehabt :
"Deutsch or English
Native speakers, expats, anyone
From Brezeln to Bier

Please don't ask if you join in, everyone is welcome "

Hope the packing is going well, admylin.

I used to hate throwing things away as a child and well into my 20's. All the moving around we've done has made me a lot more ruthless though and maybe I've just got less sentimental in my old age. I used to have boxes and boxes full of crap old train tickets, postcards which I bought and then never did anything with, nik naks from various places. I've got rid of nearly all of it now.

My mum chucked some of my stuff away too without asking and I was very upset so I hope I won't do the same to dd and ds. Actually dd sorted out a bag of toys she wants to sell at the next Flohmarkt so maybe the incentive of financial gain will mean she won't hang on to stuff.

Well, another 3 boxes are packed, that's enough for today and I've also chucke dloads of rubbish so the bins are full!

You're definately right about moving house being good for getting things sorted out and making you be minimalistic. I use dto have little collections too and would keep things 'just in case' but now I jump for joy when something breaks so I can throw it away! A friend here has lived in her flat for 25 years - imagine living in one place for 25 years! Well, she can't move for junk and piles of 'things' that she can't bring herself to get rid of. She even knows it's sort of weighing her down as she can't relax at home when every corner is full and every cupboard is over flowing. I'd hate to live like that now but I bet I would have been like that if I'd stayed put long enough in one place!

Keep reading everywhere you should be rigorous and everything you have not used in the past year should be thrown out (including clothes you haven't worn)! I feel better when I've thrown a lot of clutter away but I don't think I could be quite that strict with myself. Also find it easier to tackle basic cleaning when I don't first have to tidy away tons of stuff. We are still a cluttered household though I think.

A friend of mine has two flats across the landing from each other. Their original flat is so full you honestly can't move in there , I feel like a fish on land struggling to breathe. I don't know how she lives inthere. I mean it's clean but jam-packed with stuff they don't use/need. The second flat they have rented is pristine and minimalist and she's trying hard not to let the clutter spread across.

Her kitchen for instance (in the first flat) has piles of magazines reaching up to your waist everywehre. I said, let's go down and throw them out and she honestly couldn't, she said "oh I have to read them all first!" Her bedroom is cluttered with big bags full of old clothes (dc's clothes and stuff she can't bring herself to throw out) and you honestly cannot move in there. I don't know how they get to and from the bed, it's that bad.

Hi Girls,

had an exciting couple of days. We visited the new baby on Sat evening, how different they do things on the maternity wards here! And I was so at the visiting hours, 3pm to 4pm then 7pm to 8pm. Zats it!

They are home already, got home yesterday just over 24hrs after the birth. That does not happen very often in Germany.

We had a good day at the beach today, and afterwards went to a lovely cafe on the riverfront. They even had a great little playarea so Mum and I had coffee in peace.

I am missing DH though, I would really like to go out for a few long walks and I have noone to go with. Absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder.

Admylin
Do you still have lots of packign to do?

I am getting more ruthless about throwing things out. When we get home our sandpit will be gone, I sold it to a friend. I am not sure how the DCs will react to it.

I sold loads of junk worthy items on ebay recently. You would not believe what people are prepared to spend on things that have been lying around my cellar for a decade.

That was good timing going back just when Sarah was born, or was that part of your plan?

I was quite grateful to spend a few days in hospital after the birth having things taken off my hands and getting a chance to sleep, don't think I would have liked to be back home 24 hours later, especially since dh was out at work all day and didn't get back till maybe 9pm.

Sounds like you are having a nice trip back and drinking a lot of coffee!

Hi MmeLindt! I had both dc in Hong Kong where you had to stay a minimum of 3 days. I quite enjoyed it really and wouldn't have liked to go home the same day which is what my sister did.

My SIL actually wanted to go home on the same day but she was too late. I enjoyed being pampered in the hospital. (although being wakened at 7am to get blood pressure taken was not so much pampering)

well when I gave birth there was just two other women in the maternity section (!). Both had Kaiserschnitte. Anyway they both wanted to get out asap. One because she had a Chinese restaurant and wanted to get back to work (!) The other because she had a 3 year old at home and wanted to get back to him straight away. The one with the 3 year old was making a great show of walking about the corridor, saying she felt great then collapsing back on her bed, moaning in agony. She was just trying to fake that she had no pain so they'd let her go home!

I was in no hurry to leave but I felt quite a wimp compared to those 2. (Also put me off having a Kaiserschnitt I can tell you). They kept wanting to show me how their stomachs were stapled and so on.

We had a lot of fun in there though. Place was practically empty and so we were waited on hand and foot.

there WERE

Oh, God, I had a CS with DS and I was in agony for days. I was not able to get out or bed without assistance for about 3 or 4 days.

The maternity ward sounds cool though. Was it just a quiet time of the year for having babies?

Dunno really why it was so empty but made it very peaceful, relaxing place to be except they had a habit of bringing you the babies at the same time they brought you the food, so mine would wake up immediately and howl. I never got a chance to eat! They'd always come back to find me bfing and take the tray away. Shame because the food looked quite nice.

did you choose to have it or did you need to in the end ML?

A hospital with good food? Unheard of!

Go and post on my buggy board thread and tell me I am not BU please

Bugger MN

wehre's this?

It was an emergency CS, I definately would not have chosen one unless there was a medical reason. DD was a normal birth and I recovered much faster. I am always so amazed that anyone would chose a CS because they do not want the pain of a vaginal birth.

here

done YANBU at all. Stick to your guns. And steer clear of those AIBU threads, they always backfire IME and you can guarantee someone will come on and tell you that you are BU and of course your MIL was abducted by aliens in a UFO last night if you said so , etc etc.

Let it run its mad course and run away screaming - in the direction of some booze preferably.

LOL

First time I have posted on AIBU

I should have just asked you lot.

Do you think that it is part of the British mollycoddling childrearing at the moment? I get the impression that the children here are much less independant that the children in Germany.

They don't get out to play alone, or walk to school alone. There are no children out playing here, and I know there are children around. Even in the school holidays there are no kids out.

SIL's boy is rather spoilt, he is a nice kid really but her world revolves around him and he knows it.

My parents sat like this when he talked about the buggy board

well here where I live there aren't kids playing out and I only know one who travels to school alone. There aren't many dc in our street and I've never once seen one of them out without an adult. Maybe Berlin is a bit different to Dusseldorf. So I find it hard to compare here with the UK.

I think you're probably right we do mollycoddle more and dc here generally are probably more independent.

Just thinking, if SILs boy is quite spoilt, he might have some problems getting adjusted to the baby. Hope it goes smoothly.

We live in a village just outside of Dusseldorf so perhaps it is part of our idyllic life there.

My 6yo DD went to the toy shop with her friend on her own the day before we came over here. It is about 7 mins walk, over one of the main roads in the village. Her friend is in year 2 and used to walking to school (just around the corner)

Can you imagine the flaming I would get on here if I posted that?

I think that DB and SIL will have their work cut out for them. DSN (Stepnephew?) is very proud to be a big brother and is protective of his wee sister so perhaps they will be ok. He is not jealous or nasty towards her, in fact completely the opposite. He is very sweet.

I guess that patchwork families are not so easy to cope with.

Talking of patchwork (quilts), I am off to mine. I have a Georgette Heyer out of the library and want to make a start on it.

MmeLindt, YANBU. A buggy board for a 7 yo is ridiculous imo. He must be way over any weight or height limits there are for these things. Can you imagine trying to push a buggy for any distance with a 7yo on it? I suppose if you asked them what they want then it's difficult to go against their wishes but I would find it really hard to buy something I thought was so pointless. I guess you won't be posting on AIBU again for a while

I definitely think children are more mollycoddled in the UK. It's one aspect of life here I much prefer, because it reminds me much more of my childhood when we would disappear for hours on end without parents hovering us constantly. I think it's virtually impossible to let your children be so independent these days in the UK. I would definitely get flamed on here (and probably reported to SS) for some of the things I allow my dc to do here which are considered perfectly normal.

Hello all - just coming up for some air before plunging back into the depths of small-babydom.

I watched an interesting discussion on BBC4 a few weeks ago about how kids are being raised in the UK (Tanya Byron, that Winston blokey etc.) They all agreed that kids in the UK are currently being "raised in captivity" which I thought summed it up nicely. Like you Taipo, the way my older kids get out and about here (they're 5 and 4) reminds me very much of my own childhood. They play out on their own in our neighbourhood and there are none of these daft health and safety issues which prevent them being taken off for regular and interesting Auflüge with Kiga. I'm feeling dreadfully homesick at the mo, but for the kids I would seriously think about not going back to the UK if the opportunity arose.

ooh nice to see you Franke! How is the baby, doing ok?

I think homesickness comes in waves and is a kind of affliction attached to living overseas. I don't know if you ever get rid of it 100% Is it on the cards then, returning home?

Baby's lovely although still a little fussy in the evenings and with the other 2 off Kiga for 3 weeks I've got my work cut out a bit. But it's all good - we all love the new one .

Going back is not really on the cards tbh although dh maintains it's a medium to long-term possibility - he likes the UK. I really wish we had a base there so I could go back and get a regular fix. I want the best of both worlds I suppose. I think reading these threads I realise how unintegrated I am here - this is mainly due to my (lack of) grasp of German. I'm working on it, but don't really get much opportunity to speak German regularly so it's a bit of a vicious cycle.