Friede, Freude, Eierkuchen : German Corner 3 - life goes on

[SSSandy2]

Other thread was getting a bit full. Alles wie gehabt :
"Deutsch or English
Native speakers, expats, anyone
From Brezeln to Bier

Please don't ask if you join in, everyone is welcome "

Yes, had the portable hard drive too with all the important files and photos from the computer! Our computer is on it's last legs anyway so I have to save everything onto my usb stick or the hard drive just in case.

We went to Anna Teich on Sunday on the bikes. Did you ever go there? It was nice and relaxing but the Maschsee must be worth a visit. It's abit further away and I haven't got the energy to start faffing about with public transport yet! I hate it when you try going somewhere in a new place and the bus or tram doesn't announce the stops by name and then you try counting but your dc talk to you and you lose count or something. Also you can bet I try to get on a tram and they don't sell tickets inside so I will have to go and walk miles to find a kiosk selling tickets . Even more confusing is when the stop where you get off has a totally different place for the return journey, so not exactly opposite where you got off. I want a car with driver really don't I! Thinking of going to Ikea by taxi next week actually as the connection I am being given online says I have to take a bus at the end of the tram line but there is only one bus per hour so that would bug me if I got there and had just missed a bus and the same for the return. H has a really friendly colleague who offered him the use of his car if he needs it at first but he said no honestly, that's so typical of him.

Is that the new Ikea in Laatzen? It is just over the Messeschnellweg from the Leine Centre. I had a look on google maps and it is actually not far to walk. You need to go along Würzburgerstrasse, it looks to be about 1km. I am not sure if you can get into the Ikea from that end though, might be worth taking a taxi the first time and checking it out.

The Leine Centre is quite nice, if the weather is shite, you can wander around and have a coffee.

There is also a good American Diner in Laatzen, yummy hamburger.

Bloody men! My DH is in the bad books too. He told me last night that the week that we go to Geneva, he will be in Munich. I asked why as I thought he had a weeks holiday. He said, "oh, I do but just to use up the holidays, I will still be working". Which means I have to do the move alone with a 4yo and a 6yo hanging off me.

I am trying a new tactic, I did not start screaming "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!", I just said that was not how I had visualized things happening and that I was disappointed that he would nto be there. I also said that it would be rather difficult to handle the move, the removal company and the kids and that if I had known that he was not going to be there then I would have asked my parents to come over.

He went very quiet and said that he would think about it. I will let him stew over it for a few days before I mention it again.

Thanks, good tips. The Ikea seems to be in some Expo park I think. Nice if there are other things around there to look at. Am thinking about risking the trip on a weekend but I know Ikea is usually hell on a weekend - might just go one afternoon after school.

We live near Kirchrode and Kleefeld - that's where the Anna teich is. There are some lovely big villas in Kleefeld and Kirchrode seems nice too - we're not in a house but wish we were as they are lovely. Will you have a garden? I've got my 2 balconies so will be able to 'potter' on there when I get settled. Sure there is enough room to be creative and make it nice. I'm on a mission at the moment to get rid of all spiders - they aren't allowed in my house but they haven't understood yet.

Yep, bloody men! That's all I can say!

Admylin
Did you get lost on the way to Ikea? I have visions of you wandering around the Messepark clutching your candles and napkins wailing, "How do I get hooooome?!!"

I live near enough the Ikea that I can go often enough to resist the schnickschnack, I sometimes even make it home without having bought anything.

Lol mmelindt! No not lost, didn't even make it that far - have decided to go to Ikea next week when dd is back from her trip and then we can get everything we need and hopefully get it all delivered in one go - no idea how much that will be but can't be more than the delivery charge for online orders I suppose.

Am still feeling so lost - I didn't seem to stop all day yesterday and when I did stop at the end of the day the place was still a mess also took hours packing dd's stuff according to teachers Packliste for her trip. Only 2 things we didn't have. A Leinenbeutel for dirty washing - gave her a Stofftüte from DM-markt and I couldn't find our bottle (one of those tin things for trips) so she's taking two bottles of water and will have to refill as she goes.

wow, my computer has a mind of it's own. It sent that message without me telling it to. Anyway, I was going to carry on - dd has begged me to finish painting her room while she is away and I suppose it makes sense to do it when she isn't needing it to sleep in every night. Hope I get myself ralleyed round to action. I did our room first as it was the one needing it most and now it's her turn. Ds's room isn't too bad and he wants to keep it white anyway. Then there is just the entrance area to do - thank goodnes steh rest is OK.

Oops, doorbell just rang, nice neighbour brought a ball for the dc to play with - that should say the rest is OK!

Have been trying to stay away from the computer for a few days to get all those boring jobs done after coming back from holiday and trying to get dc ready for school again.

How is everyone? Have you done your trip to Ikea yet, admylin? I wish we had one nearer us. Even though I always swear I will never go back again when we go there, I have to admit it is great when you move somewhere new and have to buy furniture fast. I love those Almondy cakes they do in the cafe there and then I discovered you can buy them here in the supermarket.

MmeLindt, have you managed to force persuade dh to change his mind about being there for the move. Dh did this to me too. We reached a sort of compromise in the end but I wasn't happy...

Taipo
I have accepted that I will be doing the move alone and am now ok with it. I thought about asking Mum to come over but she has 2 weddings in October so it is not really fair. Now that I know that I have to do it alone I am ok with it, it was the uncertainty that got me, and the fact that I thought he was skiving off to the Wiesn in Munich. Now I know he is working it is ok.

I am battlign the krankenkasse at the mometn, it is really difficutl to find 2 people there who tell you the same thing. I know from DH's work that I need the form E106 for the familienversicherung, but the lady at the DAK does not believe me. Grrrrr.

Can I just belatedly chime in on the 'bloody men' thing? The only reason I have no flippin time to post is because he's in the Azores (how do you spell that?) for two weeks and I've got the kids on me tod. Ugh. And he called last night to say he has to spend three days after he comes back from the A in Lisbon (which just happens to be my favorite city in the entire world). I'm trying to be supportive but really this is belong the bloody pale!!!
Got the rant about German p schools off my chest thanks to a friend who runs a times blog timesonline.typepad.com/schoolgate/2008/08/starting-school.html (why did she change his name to Jamie?) but haven't had the guts to tell The Teacher about NZ yet. Gulps. Sorry, I'll run away again now.

Sorry that last post was me... got mixed up with my old login. Such a dunce. Hurumpf.

No taipo, haven't been to Ikea yet and it looks as if we'll be going this weekend - I hate Ikea on Saturday but dd can't wait any longer and she gets back from her Klassenfahrt on Friday so she'll want to go and get her new bed. I hope we aren't getting a rubbish one - she#S CHOSEN IT AND REALLY WANTS IT BUT i THINK SOME OF THE STUFF IS SO SORT OF WOBBLY -oops sorry about that - any of you had any really good stuff from Ikea to lead me in the right direction? We need to look at rugs too but need quite big ones and then light fittings galore, missing in most rooms so thought Ikea might be OK for that. I got the dc the Mikael computer tables in Berlin as they shared a room and they were small enough to fit in but I find they are too small - hardly room to put a text book and a few pencils on although the pull out bit is handy for putting papers and stuff on and their school bags go where the computer would stand underneath.

Mmelindt hope the Krankenkasse problem is sorted. What does your dh's work place say? Can they not sort it out? I had my first unfriendly encounter in Hannover the other day - the Stadtwerke where we get the electric from sent the registration and contract letter to me in my name and I wanted it to be changed to h's name (we have kept our own names) to make it easier for him - he pays it so he should atleast get the bills in his name. The young man on the Kundenservice hotline was very unfriendly and I had to get nasty with him to get him to start answering my questions in a civilized tone. Why is it that Germans when being nasty on the phone, don't seem to realize it unless you get nasty back then they suddenly try to be nice? I hate having to do it that way but that's all part of my integration process into life in Germany - you have to! I wrote an email afterwards to complain 'Es kann doch nicht sein..'because this guy said I'd have to come into the Kundencentre in town and sort it out. In the end I got the name changed by sending the email to the right person who later rand me and was über-nice to me!

I wonder what the Swiss will be like? I know the Züricher aren't famous for their friendlieness but Geneva must have more a French side to it I bet.

Admylin, we bought dd's bed at Ikea. What we didn't realise until we got it back and assembled it was just how high it is. There's barely room for her to sit up without her bumping her head on the ceiling. It is also very wobbly so could be the one you're getting. Dd's friend has the same one and they've fixed it to the wall so it doesn't wobble at all anymore.

Hope you sort out the krankenkasse, MmeLindt. I don't know what I dislike most about moving - the physical work involved or the beaurocratic part of writing letters and phoning people to let them know you're moving.

Hi Thelma. My dh is always flitting off here and there. He was supposed to be away this week but it is ds's 'Einschulung' tomorrow so he cancelled it. How long have you been in Germany?

Oh no Taipo, it's not this one is it? This is the one dd wants. How do they get past all quality and safety tests they do? I remember someone on MN told me about a double bed from Ikea that just collapses in the middle of the night! Our own bed was a cheap one that we oredred froma a catalogue, just meant to tide us over at first in Berlin and it also collapsed - the tiny thin foot that held the middle bit up just broke.

No, it's not that one. That looks a lot more stable than the one we got. It seemed like a good idea at the time but we were both so totally knackered after spending a day there that we didn't check the measurements properly. At least dd liked it but I can't see it lasting more than a couple of years.

Phew, that's a relief. I liked the look of that one you got too but ds doesn't want a new bed. He's thinking of getting this desk and shelf and he has plenty of room so we'll have a look at it. Dreading going as I know it'll be so busy but I suppose it's only once every few years! Actually teh last load of stuff we got in Berlin, I just ordered online and gotit delivered but I really wantt o se ethis stuff before I get it.

Admylin
I have the Expedit shelf, without the desk. It is a bit fiddly to assemble, and really really heavy but once it was up it looks good. We attached it to the wall as the DCs were still at an age of scaling cupboards.

We have quite a bit of Ikea furniture, our couch is from Ikea and the dining table. Lots of the light fittings, which are incidently very easy to put up. I just bought 2 MALM chest of drawers, they are really good. The drawers are very deep and high so you get loads of stuff in them. My parents have had them a few years now and they still look good.

The kid's beds are from Flexa, they are more expensive than Ikea but good quality. I was lucky that a friend bought new beds for her DTs and gave us one of the old beds for DS.

We had Cross Cultural Training today, to help us adjust to life in CH. It was especially interesting for DH as they compared the German mentality to the Swiss, US, UK and the countries that he will be dealing with such as France, Italy and Spain.

He also gave us lots of tips to help cope with the move, both for us and for the DCs.

There was a good thing about the period of adjustment, I will look it out and post it here so that you can all tell me of your own experiences

Mmelindt, that sounds really helpful to have a course like that before you move and great that the company thinks of the family too and offers help to the wife too! Wish I'd had even a tiny bit of help but you helped alot with some of your tips as an ex-hannoverianerin.

Am Australian friend of mine here in germany use dto give those courses to people being sent to Australia - I think from Bosch company, she earned quite abit of money and had a great time telling them all the things that were going to be better than Germany! Wish I had the confidence to try something like that or even conversation classes. Another British friend used to go to a business woman's house once a week to help her correct and practise her talks for work in an international company - she said it was so easy as she didn't have to prepare, the woman had already written her talk and she just had to go over it with her and correct her if she pronounced it wrong.

We've got those malm drawers too, they are good but also tip if you open more than 2 drawers at once (dc's habit). Our new flat has those awful walls that you can't even put a nail into without a professional drill so I can't put any of my pictures up or even a mirror - have to wait and maybe get a myhammer.de offer for someone to come and do it all one day and bring their own drill. we have one but it won't cope with those walls. Good tip about the expedit being hard to build, I might wait 'til my dad comes in 2 weeks - he did say to leave some jobs for him to do. I managed to finish dd's room - well almost. I ran out of the pastel coloured paint after I'd done 3 walls so I left one wall white and I'll tell her it's her special poster wall so she can put her posters on that wall (she is a Wilde Kerle fan) I hope she falls for it because I got the paint at Lidl when they had a special on and of course there aren't any left now so I can never get the same colour anyway!

Admylin
LOL at the paint, hope she falls for it. If not you can always let her decorate that wall herself. Would she do stuff like stenciling?

The Expedit is definitely a 2 man job. My Dad was here when I got mine and helped put it up.

The trainer is here again, he is working mainly with DD and DS pops in every so often to have a peek. He was up at the crack of dawn this morning and has been a bit of a pain as he is overtired. I put him to bed now for a snooze so that DD and the trainer can have some peace.

I am thinking about doing some freelance work in Geneva, it sounds like it would be better financially than here. They pay a lot less tax. We have to see the company's accountant/tax consultant anyway so I will ask about that.

If you are interested in doing any kind of English teaching or tutoring, let me know. I did lessons for wee ones, up to around age 8 and they are VERY popular with the German parents. Living where you are you should not find it hard to get work. I did not train as a teacher, but really if you speak the language, can do some fun things with the kids and read up on the theory a bit, then it is not a problem.

Do you know that one of the language schools here in Düsseldorf offers a Baby course (which I offered too, it was great fun) and they charge 55Euros a month! I did not charge anywhere near as much as that.

Well, I got my dd back this morning. she was exhausted but not the kind of contented exhaustion so I'm thinking she didn't have such a great time as the last Klassenfahrt. She nearly fell asleep this afternoon but I had to wake her to go to ds's presentation afternoon at Gymnasium, now she's watching TV and half asleep. She won't let on if anything went wrong on the trip though. Maybe it was just exhausting, she did say they weren't allowed inside and had to stay out in the fresh air all day and weren't allowed to stop for a rest on the Wanderung they went on.

When is your move date mmelindt? Are you all set? I am still not settled - and seem to just have never ending things to do. I hate the kitchen as there is no dish washer so I seem to spend all day just washing up and no sooner have I dried the last dish , someone comes and wants something to eat. Have to get a routine and be stricter or I won't ever get on top of it all.

Admylin
I mentioned the adjustment curve yesterday, and forgot to post the details about it. Basically, the theory is that when you move house you go through several periods of adjustment.

Phase 1 - Honeymoon
Euphoria, Energy, Differences seem minor, Host culture is new and exciting

Phase 2 - Initial Culture Shock
Increasing sense of confusion, Disroientation, Loss of energy

Phase 3 - Superficial Adjustment
Learning how to survive, Can funtion within a limited, familiar space

Phase 4 - Depression and Isolation
Losing touch with home culture, Awareness of deep cultural differences, Loss of self-esteem, Loss of support of family and friends, Feeling threatenend, Withdrawl, depression, tension, fatigue, homesickness, Stereotyping and hostility toward host nationals

Phase 5 - Compensation and Reintegration
Developing coping behaviour, Less defensive, more accepting, Developing new infrastructure, More oopenminded, relaxed

Phase 6 - Autonomy and Integration
Learning to value cultural differences, Newfound self confidence

Obviously, this is geared for moving to a different culture, but there is a lot that might be interesting for you. The trainer said that Phase 4 is the most dangerous phase, the one that folk go home.

Sorry about the previous post, DH was grizzling at me to get off MN. I read on the burnt food thread that a MNetter's DD calls burnt pasta MN pasta

OK. The phase 4 is the moment that some expats give up and go home. The trainer said that it is important to recognise the different stages, to accept the ups and downs and to be prepared for them. His advice was to try and get out of the house, especially at the weekends so that you see something new and interesting. The worst thing to do is to hole up at home as this makes the spiral of depression worsen.

I can certainly remember being in P4 when we were in Hannover (not to do with Hannover particularly, it was just a difficult time for me, with 2 young children and no friends or family nearby). That was when we got the call to come to NRW