Friede, Freude, Eierkuchen : German Corner 3 - life goes on

[SSSandy2]

Other thread was getting a bit full. Alles wie gehabt :
"Deutsch or English
Native speakers, expats, anyone
From Brezeln to Bier

Please don't ask if you join in, everyone is welcome "

Just catching up with everyone´s news.

We were in England for a week and then I´ve been glued to the olympics for the last 2 weeks, so haven´t been on the computer much. The tv´s not working today (a loose cable I think)so I´ve finally got time to catch up with everyone.

Glad the move went well admylin. It must be a nightmare coping with jetlag at the same time. Just do as much as you can and remember to keep you cake intake up to restore energy levels.

Mme Lindt have you decided on a house yet? I think you were definitely wise to turn down the one in the middle of nowhere. I live in a village (well small town actually) and it´s fine in the summer, but I do find myself going stir crazy in the winter. A swimming pool sounds great, but do they need a lot of maintenance? I´ve no idea.

Hupa
Welcome back, did you have a good break in England?

Well, the relocation agent has advised us to keep the remote house on the list as there is not a lot on offer in Geneva. So I will have a quick look but it would have to be something very special to tempt me.

I just spoke to DD's teacher, she seems really nice. She said that DD does not seem to be really trying to join in, as if she has already decided that since she is leaving in 4 weeks that she wont bother making friends. She is quite happy but is not at all bothered who sits next to her, for example. Normally this is a thing that the DCs argue about.

Did you all hear the news about that little girl in Leipzig - she was walking home from the Sachülerhort on Monday and never arrived. They've found her body in a pond 2km away. That's me supposed to be letting my dc do it the German way and walk home by themselves - I just can't do it, silly I know but I will try to meet them both after school. Ds only has 10 minutes to walk but dd has nearly 20 minutes so it's too far , she doesn't know her way around yet anyway. We got lost on the way home today, thought I'd try a short cut but it wasn't!

Well, I managed to clean the pantry (a tiny one) and put 3 boxes worth of stuff into it this afternoon so that's erledigt. Also took time out to make a warm meal for us. Must admit the place was empty for a few weeks before we arrived and they didn't leave it to my standards of clean so I've had extra work to do there.

I did read about the little girl in Leipzig. They are reporting that she was on her way to meet someone, or that is what one of her school friends is saying.

I did not see exactly how far and what her walk to school is like so am not able to comment on that.

DD walked home from school today for the first time. She walks along a fairly busy road (crosses at pedestrian crossing) along past a garage, around the corner and then along our road, also reasonably busy.

Tbh, I worry more about her paying attention crossing the road of the garage than about her being abducted by a stranger. I am very "German" on this one, and let them have quite a lot of freedom.

I agree, the roads are my number 1 worry really. When we were in Houston our nephew drove us around (he is 22) and we were so surprised at how well everyone seemed to drive. He told us there are big fines if you don't respect the road rules in their area - and compared to Germany they drove quite slowly. Our 15 year old nephew was just starting driving lessons at school and had a classic american job packing bags at the checkout of a supermarket to save for his first car insurance (his dad will buy him a car).

The school bus system is great over there too. We saw loads of them being used for summer clubs and I forget to take a photo - all classic yellow buses! I think I could imagine living in the US but not where it's so hot - Houston was so humid when I got out of the air conditioned car my glasses steamed up!

I did not know that they still used the school buses, the yellow ones. I thought that they were only used for films.

And another cliche, packing groceries to save the money for the driving licence.

You must be feeling the cold back here if it was so hot in Houston. I am in the kitchen and it is lovely and warm as the dishwasher has been on. We are resisting putting the heating on because it is bloody AUGUST!

It is abit cool isn't it, but I'm loving it! I hate hot and humid weather so I was pleased to come back to a slightly cooler Deutschland. I heard it was quite hot while we were away.

Well I got my wardrobe built yesterday afternoon and I was so proud and rushed to fit the shelves inside only to find that I'd put two side bits the wrong way round so had to unscrew most of it - will try and finish it this afternoon and then I can maybe get my bed built atlast. we've been here a week now and I still feel like I'm stuck between worlds sort of. Suppose the next thing will be getting to understand the public transport system and getting around on it. I find the info on the internet quite unclear but that's because I'm used to the Berlin Netz so have to figure out the ticket prices and where to get them etc.

I did that with a bookcase once, but at least it was not a huge job to take to bits and reassemble. How annoying to have to do it with a whole wardrobe. Bet you were cursing.

How are the DCs settling in, Admylin? Are they starting to make a few friends? My two are good at playing together if there is noone else around so I am not too worried.

I am off to Geneva tomorrow for the house hunting trip, as the company call it. It conjures up a picture of hunters out with big nets trying to catch a house.

One of DH's colleagues has warned me not to sound too enthusiastic unless I really like the house, otherwise the HR rep "will have you moved in by teatime"

Good luck in Geneva, hope you find something you like. Are the dc going with you?

Oh no I didn't curse about the wardrobe - I just sat on the floor and quietly sobbed. I've been having a few little sobs here and their recently, I expect it'll get better soon.

My dc are like that too, they are quite happy to be together even if they fight now and then infact when they were smaller I worried that they didn't seem to bother with 'the outside world' much and weren't that keen on playing with the neighbourhood dc (we lived in a tiny student family flat but there were loads of dc and parents in the same boat as us so it was nice really)

When is everyone coming back to our little German corner? I know SSSandy is on holiday but what about the others? Ernest never pops in nowadays and berolina doesn't either taipo where are you? hupa come back! Can you tell I'm in need of a chat even it is just online. I caught myself being overly chatty to the shop keeper yesterday, I do that when I've been deprived of adult conversation, I start talking too much and making jokes with complete strangers. They usually chat back I must admit but it's abit sad really.

I've just popped in to see I get a mention for never popping in sorry. Been a long mad summer, 4 kids at home and nowt to do.

Feeling a bit fed up tbh, as I had decided to return to work, did a few months maternity cover, enjoyed it, then found out I had to move countries, and was pg again. So now, 9 years as sahm, with no end in sight, doing my head in. My family are all so effing messy, every morning, dh & boys head off out to work/school & I'm stuck here with all their mess. It's doing my head in. And I still don't know a soul - everyone gone/everything shut for summer, so I go for whole days not seeing or speaking to anyone, and now ds1 & 2 back at school I never even see them. yesterday, I get to bark at them for half an hour to get them out in time, then they come back, do their homework, then I have to cook dinner, then they go out to play, I do all the clearing up, then they go to bed. That's it.

So am mrs grumpy. You're probably gal I've stayed away now sorry.

How's the move going, or has it gone? Must keep up.

Any ideas how I can improve my written german without attending a class? I learnt just by speaking to people, so can't write for toffee/grammar appalling, but can't attend class with new baby, 3 other kids etc etc. Hve grammar book but it's just not going in. Feel mega ashamed if I ever need to write. Any ideas?

Hi ernest, nice to hear from you! Well I know how you feel if that's any help and I'm also now sitting in a city where I don't know a soul and feeling sorry for myself because I miss my friends from Berlin (I only had 2 but we atleast got a good long chat in every day) - dh hasn't joined us yet - he's supposed to be coming today but to be honest his conversation is very one sided, science, his job and science.

It's so hard starting over again isn't it? I take dd to school and se eall the mums chatting but I don't know how to break the ice and which ones have dc in dd's class. Suppose I'll have to wait 'til the first parents evening and try to go in with a smile atleast even if I don't feel like it.

We got back from the most unrelaxing, hot and humid holiday I've ever had, suffering with jet-lag I had to pack the rest of our stuff and move house 3 days later. I can't remember any of our moves being this bad even though I didn't have to carry anything.
I'm also still trying to learn better writing in German. I hate it if I have to write a letter and I know there must be loads of mistakes. I can speak it and even do the accent quite well but writing is a tough one. I'd say read the paper every day, that's where I started and I also keep every letter I ever got so I could sort of copy phrases if I ever needed anything similar. Keep nagging your dh to move to an English speaking country (that's my strategy anyway)

Hi, everyone, I just stumbled across this thread.

I get the impression I may be one of a minority in that I am a German living in GB, rather than British living in Germany. It is really interesting to read everybodies impression of D-land as you seem to be going through similar adjustments as I did when I first moved here (15 years ago ). It used to amaze me that 2 countries so realtively close to each other (let's face it, it is hardly the Southpole) and, like it or not, have a history so closely intertwinded can be so different in many, many respects. I used to be grateful that I did not immigrate from further affield...

1 mortgage, 1 husband and 3 DC later I am still here .

Tschuess!!

Enjoy the heat, we struggle to get beyond 16 degrees C and I have just returned from school run totally drenched. I am clearly not used to the heat anymore as I really struggled in Germany in July when visiting my parents.

Hi mummyfor3, I come from the north west of England and for me 18 degrees was always summer weather and a heat wave was 25° so I really suffer with the German summer heat. Still haven't got used to it and nothing is really geared up to such hot weather - not all shops and homes have air conditioning and alot of cars don't either. we just returned from Houston where it was very hot but every car and building had lovely cool air conditioning running.

Hi, admylin, I have wondered before about the lack of air con in Germany. I spent some of my childhood in the States and, yes, hot summer much more bearable if house cool. I suppose, a lot of German houses are built of stone/bricks and stay a bit cooler in the summer. I remember growing up alsways being yelled at to "close the door" when coming in to keep the heat OUT.

I am in Scotland and we had lovely sunny wheather in May with temps @ 20-24 degress and that was just great. Unfortunately, nothing since (bar a nice week in July, apparently when I was melting in the heat in D-land, seriously considering to give up BFing DS3 because his little body was too hot against me ).

Why is it that rather than getting used to the wheather after all these years it gets to me more and more?? 14 degress in June and 14 degrees at Christman, for goodness sake!! I think I need counselling.....no point in riling against something nobody can change, is there?

M43, you've been in the UK too long all this talk about weather.

It's too hot for me here, possibly a bit hotter than it was in Zürich. Now it's quite pleasant. I've spent a lot of the summer in the basement. Even slept down there for the 1st 4 weeks after dd (sounds weird to write that) born, as bedrooms so bleedin hot.

All the parents at school are english speakers, but we live a long way from school, so I rarely go (they get bus), don't meet any parents and they all live by school ie miles away, so I just don't meet them. Must find a way of meeting people soon.

I´m still around, but having neglected everything for 2 weeks while the olympics were on I´ve been catching up on washing, ironing etc. etc.

Hello mummyfor3. It´s true about there being so many differences between the 2 countries despite them being relatively close.
I always get the impression that many of us this board would jump at the chace to move back to England, do you still yearn for Germany or are you happily settled in England?

Ernest - I think getting to grips with written German is so hard because of the grammar. At least when speaking people, aren´t really going to notice so much if you get a few endings wrong, but when it´s down in black and white it´s so obvious. I have used a computer programme in the past and found that helped more than text books alone.I don´t blame you for feeling fed up, it must be so hard starting over in a new place and spending large chunks of time on your own.Is there any chance you could go to a mother and baby class while the others are at kindergarten/school. I found that was the about the only way I had regular contact with other adults when dd and ds were small.

admylin - I tend to do the talking too much if I haven´t seen anyone for a chat for a while. It used to drive dh bonkers. He´d finish work and just want half an hour to drink a coffee, read a paper and I would just talk non stop at him and get annoyed when I only got a grunt in response. When you´ve settled in a bit more maybe you could explore doing some sort of course while the children are in school. At least it would be a way of meeting some other people. When I first came to Germany before I had children I did a couple of German courses at the vhs and met some really great people. I keep thinking I should try something new now, but can´t decide.

I wonder how Mme Lindt is getting on with the house hunting.

sorry just seen your in Scotland not England

That is hard then if you all live so spread out then school will be no great help for you meeting people. How about being brave and going to a local baby/toddler group? I know dd is still small but I went to one when I lived in a small village and ds was about 5 months old and didn't know anyone. It was a church run group and my neighbour took me the first time as she also went but when they lost the use of the rooms they alternated at home and I got to know a few real German mums that way and practise my German. When my 2 dc were abit older I did join the English afternoon club which was great to meet up with English speaking mums and let the dc play together. Try the Familienbildungstätte (or smothing like that) for courses you can go on with dd. It is nice to have a fixed date every week where you know you'll have contact and conversation with adults. Helps you get through the rest of the week I found.

I can't go that route this time as my dc are too old. Dd came out of school laughing and chatting to her classmates and I thought isn't she lucky, it'll take me alot longer to find someone to chat to.

Mummyfor3,

I'm a German in Scotland (West coast). Where are you?

pity we don't live closer.

I would go to a m/t group, but I don't even know where there is one, or how I'd find out about it. Short of grabbing a stranger off the street, I don't even know where I'd find out about stuff?

Not seen anything mentioned on the Gemeinde web site.

Yep, all you British ex-pats, I do NOT envy you learing German as adults; much easier when you are a baby..., but v well done for trying.

Ernest, you are right, I must shut up about the wheather. Told you I need counselling.

Gracela, I am just outside Glasgow in South Lanarkshire. How West Coasty are you? I mean, is there an actual coast??

ernest - you could try asking at the Kinderarzt next time you go. Ours always had a pile of magazines for north hessen with various courses for mums to be/new parents etc. Maybe there´s something similar where you are. Maybe you could give your hebamme a ring, she might know about a few groups.

Mummyfor3,

yes, coast everywhere. I can see the Isle of Mull from where I'm sitting right now. If I'd walk 200 metres my feet would get wet. I'm in the Oban area, was in Dundee/St Andrews before we came here 2 years ago.

Good idea hupa, my hebamme was great when ds was born. she even got me a phone number of a woman from South Africa who had just given birth too and who spoke English.

Munich is big but which part are you in again? You could try at the local church (or website of churches nearby) they often have groups running. Google spielgruppe, Mutter und Kind, or even Krabbelgruppe with your town name too.

Have to go - dh is arriving from Berlin in about half an hour so am going to have a third child to look after, he'll be all lost and need directions - that's one thing I'm good at finding my way around, I already know my area quite well and can tell him how to get around and to work etc and have found all the shops and things I will be needing. Even went and did the Anmeldung today at the Bürgeramt. They were so friendly too or was it just me being over friendly having someone to talk to!?

Gracelo, +++

All I have got is rather soggy suburbia...

I am off to work now, but in the words of Arnie: I will be back .