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Original poster

Daughter Marrying a philappino man - advice/issues?

26 replies

Parent1971 · 10/02/2026 08:41

My 27 year old daughter has fallen in love with a tour guide from the Philippines and after spending a total of 6 weeks together they got engaged. She is now staying out there for 3 months and they are planning the wedding. I worry about divorce not being legal over there, pressure for her to start a family and generally not knowing what cultural differences she might face. Has anyone got advice or experience they could impart.

OP posts:
KnickerlessParsons · 10/02/2026 08:54

I think the best you can do is to be there when it all goes Pete Tong.
How old is the man?

Original poster
Parent1971 · 10/02/2026 18:34

He’s in his mid thirties, so a bit older, but age gap not too bad.

OP posts:
rehearseit · 10/02/2026 18:43

Divorce could be obtained if she came home to the UK but could take years.

Has she met her future in laws? What are they like?

Is she planning on moving to the UK with him? (Presuming you are UK based, sorry if I'm wrong). I would be very worried re it being so fast that she is be being used for a green card.

This is very fast for a cross cultural marriage. How old is she?

rehearseit · 10/02/2026 18:44

rehearseit · 10/02/2026 18:43

Divorce could be obtained if she came home to the UK but could take years.

Has she met her future in laws? What are they like?

Is she planning on moving to the UK with him? (Presuming you are UK based, sorry if I'm wrong). I would be very worried re it being so fast that she is be being used for a green card.

This is very fast for a cross cultural marriage. How old is she?

Sorry just seen she is 27. Not sure how I missed that!

Simplestars · 10/02/2026 18:45

Do you think he just wants a British passport?
6 weeks is bit short to really know someone to marry.

canuckup · 10/02/2026 19:26

I'd say he'd love a British passport

DillyDallyingAllDay · 10/02/2026 19:30

This could be a romance scam. Try and be as involved as possible; be supportive or warn her off depending on what you judge the situation to be. It’s not as easy as the old days to get a British passport by marrying someone so I think if this is the case it’s going to be a long one.

DillyDallyingAllDay · 10/02/2026 19:31

Why do they need to get married so quickly? Could they not do the usual steps of building a relationship and living together etc first?

PermanentTemporary · 10/02/2026 19:31

Get a gym membership - Filipino food is mindbendingly good.

FromthefireintoWhat · 10/02/2026 19:33

i married british DH - the road to that UK passport is loonnnnng nowadays ;)

i wouldn't fancy his chance to be able to come and stay in the UK without substantial joint income

BruFord · 10/02/2026 19:36

I would strongly advise her to look into her legal rights as a non-citizen. A relative lives in Manila and one thing that I remember them saying, for example, is that there are certain restrictions on property ownership for non-citizens.

Divorce is also complicated there. She really must investigate all of this prior to moving.

RaininSummer · 10/02/2026 19:41

Seems crazy to be planning a wedding so soon whatever the nationality. Slowing right down would be sensible as would letting him know that she wants to live in his country, even if she doesn't, as that may help her gauge where he is coming from.

HelenaWilson · 10/02/2026 19:41

Are they planning to live in the Philippines?
Will she be able to work there - will she have a visa that permits it, and does she have necessary languages, skills, qualifications?
What is his religion, if any?
And the question that always comes up on threads of this type - If they have children, would she be able to bring them back to the UK in the event of a break up?

Original poster
Parent1971 · 10/02/2026 21:39

He’ll never be able to earn enough to move to the UK, she wants to live out there anyway. She’s a tattoo artist so could do some work out there. She’s plans to come back a few times a year to do her tattoos here.
I wondered how much freedom she will have after marriage, is it a patriarchal society?

OP posts:
Original poster
Parent1971 · 10/02/2026 21:40

Yes, It’s their having children that worries me the most, and her being trapped over there.

OP posts:
BruFord · 10/02/2026 22:51

The Philippines is heavily Catholic and it’s an important part of the culture. Other religions are in the minority, but her fiancé is likely to be from a Catholic family. Hence the restrictive laws around divorce and I believe that abortion is illegal.

As I said upthread, she would be well-advised to research the laws and culture so she can make an informed decision about moving there.

ilovepixie · 10/02/2026 22:54

Parent1971 · 10/02/2026 21:39

He’ll never be able to earn enough to move to the UK, she wants to live out there anyway. She’s a tattoo artist so could do some work out there. She’s plans to come back a few times a year to do her tattoos here.
I wondered how much freedom she will have after marriage, is it a patriarchal society?

Why won’t he earn enough to move here? Where I live there are hundreds of Filipinos working in the local factories.

rockingroller · 10/02/2026 23:04

Oh gosh. It's much too soon to get married whatever the location or nationality. Could you ask her to give it a year before committing? They might go off each other next month.

BaguetteLady · 10/02/2026 23:15

Is she familiar with the climate? It's cooler and drier now but soon there will be humidity, typhoons, monsoons, all sorts.

Jesuismartin · 10/02/2026 23:18

FromthefireintoWhat · 10/02/2026 19:33

i married british DH - the road to that UK passport is loonnnnng nowadays ;)

i wouldn't fancy his chance to be able to come and stay in the UK without substantial joint income

This

Gofaster2023 · 10/02/2026 23:19

Just to add, I do completely understand everyone's concerns and absolutely she should look into the laws etc. And yes it's far too soon regardless of the other complicating factors.

However, my ex partners sister did this, except it was in Turkey. They are still going strong and must be pushing 18 years together now.

Ohthatsabitshit · 13/02/2026 13:21

Are you Catholics? If so your priest might be able to support you as a family (and will probably advise longer engagement unless she is pregnant).

cupfinalchaos · 13/02/2026 13:27

Alarm bell would be ringing op as other have said. I have a dd the same age and I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

BillieWiper · 13/02/2026 13:28

I'd be concerned that if he has much less money than her she could end up out of pocket?

Why on earth do they need to marry so soon? What is the actual reason for the rush? If it's coming from him I just can't see how it could possibly be legit.

Nobody sensible married someone they've known less than two months? I hope you warn her against that side of it. If they love eachother why not just date then live together first? Not for a matter of days either.

littlematchstickgirl · 14/02/2026 22:04

We have many Filipinos at our place of work (UK) - they are all very kind and polite, with a very strong family-style network. They do tend to stick together with all the other Filipinos and don’t tend to integrate much, but overall they are all very nice.