Should i move?

[Yellowflower04]

Hiya, i am italian and been living in london since the age of 8. Now i want to move back to italy with my 8 year old. am i mad? i have family in italy, which would be around but wouldn't offer constant help/childcare. I am a single mum here in london so i dont have any help from family anyway so kind of used to it. I have a degree in Scenic arts which is painting for films/theatres ect and have worked in the industry for 6+ years. I am a bit concerned for my career out there, not sure how to find somewhere to work. and my dad who lives there, is saying i be making a mistake. Financially i should be fine. and have gathered information/ set up a plan for schools ect to then be able to go to court to have consent from the non existent father.
Am i being mad? i just want a better family orientated/ better climate and social life for us which it isnt being satisfied here in London.
my main problem is my career.
please advice

Do you have any contacts in the scenery arts in Italy? Can you make contacts? Or think about alternative careers?

If you can afford it why not?

You need to think about your career, and if you will be able to find work within your industry? Would it mean living in a different part of Italy to your family? How easy would it be to work in your chosen field in Italy? Could you change careers easily? You say you can afford to move, but what about once you're over in Italy? How quickly would you need to find work? If you moved to Italy, what would you do if it didn't work out? Could you afford to move back to London and obtain another job in your field easily? If you're the only person who's financially providing for you and your son, then money is extremely important. Do you have any contact with your son's Dad? Is he paying any child support? Do you have to go to Court, tell them he's not in the picture and they say you can take your son abroad? Or do you or the Court have to take steps to find him to ask permission? I'm guessing he's on your son's birth certificate? How does your son feel about moving? Is he bilingual? I'm sure you'd have a better quality of life, it's if the rest tallies up.

My reaction on rewading this is fairly straight forward.

If you are flexible on career, move.

If your career is of upmost importance, don't.

I moved from the US back to Ireland six years ago after 28 years with a 11 year old. For a better lifestyle, a better work life balance, for a better environment for my child, a million times over worth it.

But no chance of a better or even equivalent career. For me it was worth it. You have to decide.

Sounds like you are thinking it all through and it's not just a whim. I say go for it but plan ahead...can you build some networks in your industry, and would there be a particular place you could live that would offer better career opportunities? Good luck I'm a single mum too, it's not easy but this sounds like a fantastic adventure!

I can't offer any advice regarding your career, but just wanted to say that I moved abroad as a single parent of 2 nearly 10 years ago with £2000 in my pocket, no job to go to and no support from anyone. My kids were 9 and 10, went to the local state school with only a few words of the language. They're now fluent and working. I was a TA in the UK and have now qualified as a prmary teacher (also qualified to teach EAL). It hasn't been easy, wages are very low and the cost of living has increased massively but I'm so glad I did it, and would never go back. Honestly, I feel like if I can do it, anyone can. You also have a massive advantage as you are Italian. Go for it! 😊

Home is where the heart is and your heart is in Italy.
I understand how difficult it is being away from family and support so if you can make the move work then go for it so you'll probably always regret it.
However you've said you moved to England age 8 so have spent most of your life here. Is it a case of the grass is always greener? Also, your child is 8 so tbh I wouldn't leave it much later to move with him/her as that will be difficult to adjust to a new language and culture and make new friendship groups.
Best of luck with whatever decision you make.
If it didn't work out, you could always move back but just be careful about making too many big life decisions at your child's age.

OP - it’s a little confusing when you say you are worried about being able to get a job, and at the same time say ‘Financially i should be fine.’
Both can’t be true.

Personally - i’d first try to line up a job and only then start planning a move.
I know it must sound nice to move close to family and to a warmer climate. But reality of moving without a job is very different.
And, realistically - living in the UK, studying here, going through schooling/uni, having friends here - is a lot to consider.

I moved countries several tines in my life - and having a job was always something that made it possible and easier

Italy over London ANY day, the two just don't compare

You write that you are Italian but you have lived in London since the age of 8. You are an adult now, so you have lived in London for quite a long time.

Where do you want to be?
What do you like about London?
Do you miss your family in Italy?
I think it's worth a lot to have family close by, especially if you are a single mother.
Where is home for you?

You write "Financially you should be fine". Do you need to work? If you need to work, what is your plan for working in Italy?
Are you a dual citizen of Italy and the United Kingdom?
Your daughter is 8 years old. Does she speak Italian?

I hope everything will work out for you and your family.