...then I probably need to listen to my gut, right? We have a chance to move to Singapore - great expat package, everyone says it's a terrific place with kids, wonderful job for DH (though 6 days a week), and financially we would come out of it better off even without me working than we would be in the UK with me working 3-4 days a week. And I could probably work there too if I wanted to, given what I do and my background. And the company has agreed to resettle us back in the UK and find DH a job within their UK office after 4 years. DCs are 2 and 6.
So - so far, so great, so why am I waking up in the middle of the night filled with dread about this. I've made a number of international moves myself before, it's not like I don't know what is involved. However we moved last year from UK to US and it has been fairly disastrous, despite looking good on paper (we thought). We have an option to return to the UK, where we have some good friends and family, a great school for our kids, and both would have jobs with our current employers. But we'd definitely be very much worse off financially and the job prospects for DH are much less interesting. I would have to work so no way to get more time with the kids. DH would have a long commute. All the usual UK issues.
What to do? Every time I think about getting on that plane for Sing I feel awful - guilty, about leaving my relatives here (though they've been pretty unsupportive in general during our time here so DH thinks I'm being ridiculous); guilty about uprooting my kids again, and then again in 4 years; sad to think of leaving a job I worked hard to get and like, and very sad to think of leaving friends in both the US and the UK. But DH is dying to go, and there's no question it would set us up better for the future. And I don't want him to resent me for denying him the opportunity, especially when it has benefits for all of us.
Should I be trying to fight my feelings on this? Is it just natural fear about moving again, that would pass once we actually bite the bullet and get there?