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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

If I'm feeling sick at the idea of moving again...

4 replies

MizZan · 28/05/2008 14:42

...then I probably need to listen to my gut, right? We have a chance to move to Singapore - great expat package, everyone says it's a terrific place with kids, wonderful job for DH (though 6 days a week), and financially we would come out of it better off even without me working than we would be in the UK with me working 3-4 days a week. And I could probably work there too if I wanted to, given what I do and my background. And the company has agreed to resettle us back in the UK and find DH a job within their UK office after 4 years. DCs are 2 and 6.

So - so far, so great, so why am I waking up in the middle of the night filled with dread about this. I've made a number of international moves myself before, it's not like I don't know what is involved. However we moved last year from UK to US and it has been fairly disastrous, despite looking good on paper (we thought). We have an option to return to the UK, where we have some good friends and family, a great school for our kids, and both would have jobs with our current employers. But we'd definitely be very much worse off financially and the job prospects for DH are much less interesting. I would have to work so no way to get more time with the kids. DH would have a long commute. All the usual UK issues.

What to do? Every time I think about getting on that plane for Sing I feel awful - guilty, about leaving my relatives here (though they've been pretty unsupportive in general during our time here so DH thinks I'm being ridiculous); guilty about uprooting my kids again, and then again in 4 years; sad to think of leaving a job I worked hard to get and like, and very sad to think of leaving friends in both the US and the UK. But DH is dying to go, and there's no question it would set us up better for the future. And I don't want him to resent me for denying him the opportunity, especially when it has benefits for all of us.

Should I be trying to fight my feelings on this? Is it just natural fear about moving again, that would pass once we actually bite the bullet and get there?

OP posts:
admylin · 29/05/2008 12:25

My sympathies go out to you. I'm moving in August only within the country we're already living in but when I found out about it I just felt like crying. That was a couple of months ago and I'm slowly starting to look forward to it.

Try to think of the positive sides of living in Singapore and go on the web and search for info about the place - I bet you'll find something amazing that you could never have experienced where you are now. The best thing is you have the promise of a return ticket so to speak. Hope you start to feel better about it soon.

Chandon · 30/05/2008 23:23

A friend of mine moved there a year ago with two small children, and is having a great time ! Lots of expat life events, golf etc., clubs, great children´s clubs and schools etc. Cleaning and babysitiing done by maids...

If that´s your cup of tea (for some it isn´t), go for it!

slim22 · 31/05/2008 11:27

Am in sing.

Life as described by chandon for most expats.Not all.
I really loathe that sort of expat circuit however, am very grateful for the following:

  • No commuting and safe bus service to schools
  • good weather coupled with fantastic sports facilities/activities for adults and kids
  • domestic help which gives your couple more time together
& allows YOU to work and not exhaust yourself with household chores.
  • Good schools
  • great weekend/travel destinations at your doorstep

I know how you feel about moving. 3 countries in the last 3 years. 9 since I was little.
I'd sill do it all over again.

ShinyPinkShoes · 31/05/2008 11:31

I spent 3 very happy years in Singapore and found it a bigger wrench to leave there than it had been to leave the UK.

I had a great life there and looking back was the happiest I have ever been.

I still have some great friends there I could put you in touch with

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