Interested on your feedback on this topic given our situation.
My husband and I are both British but currently live abroad (in Portugal). We have been here nearly 5 years and are considering a move back to the UK in time for our oldest to start school when he is 5. Our youngest would be about 3 and would go to nursery until school age.
Our reasons for wanting to move home are:
- We love our life in Portugal but always planned to only be here temporarily, and don’t think it will even feel like “home”
- Proximity to family. When we move back we aim to be within 1 hour’s drive of both sets of parents and some siblings we are close to who have kids a similar age to ours. We know our parents won’t be around for ever and are sad that our kids are currently growing up without really knowing their extended family
- We feel if we bring our kids up in Portugal they will be more Portugese than British, which feels odd given neither of us are Portugese nationals
- Our job opportunities will be much better in the UK. We can probably make our jobs work in Portugal if staying here is what we choose to prioritise, but our options will be much more limited. In the medium-term my husband would probably need to leave his current job, which he likes, and can see himself staying in for the long-term. His role is quite niche and hard to replicate and he worked very hard to get it. He also earns 2/3rds of our income so giving it up would potentially be risky
- While we have a good friendship network in Portugal, our closest friends are still in the UK
- Ultimately we see ourselves back in the UK at somepoint (it will always be home) so if we don’t move at this point there will still be a question of when. If we stay, we would probably commit for the time period the kids are at school though to avoid too much disruption for them
Our main concern with moving back is that we are likely to be giving up a higher quality of life, and worry we may ultimately end up regretting that despite the benefits
- We would like to send our kids to private school and whilst we think we could afford that in the UK (we have run the numbers and think it is painful but doable), it would likely be easier here. Even with lower salaries we would expect the lower cost of living to offset them, though it would probably just net out (we doubt we would be in a materially better or worse position financially). That said, we are well aware of the cost of living crisis going on back home and worried about what that will mean for us over the next 15-20 years
- Good childcare is much easier to find and more affordable here and we would spend less time commuting. So, the logistics of life with 2 young kids would definitely be less stressful and easier to manage in Portugal (assuming we can find relevant work). We are aware this is a pretty big deal and will be the thing that will most impact our quality of life on a daily basis
That’s it really. Interested to hear your thoughts and feedback, especially from those who have been in a similar situation. It feels like a huge decision to make, and we are very keen to get it right, as if/when we do move it will be painful and we don’t want to have to do it again
Ultimately however, any decision wouldn’t be 100% irreversible. Our DC already have Portugese citizenship and we hope to also have it before we leave. We will always intend to spend a lot of in Portugal even if we do choose to relocate back home.
Thank you for any inputs 🙏