Relocating with a 10 and 12 year old

[Yuja]

Hi, looking for experiences of international relocation with older kids/young teens. We lived abroad when they were smaller in Singapore, which we all loved, and returned when they were 8 and 6. We’ve built a nice enough life here in the UK, they are at decent state schools and are both settled and happy. But, DH and I have found it hard to settle. We struggle with the weather and despite 2 professional salaries we are firefighting the cost of living and have little spare. We find life here quite challenging and without the DC we would have gone back overseas in a heartbeat. Fast forward to today and DH have been offered an opportunity to return to SE Asia where our salaries would go an awful lot further, saving would be possible again and the package is good (accom, intl school fees). My biggest worry is the DC - I know they won’t want to go and it’ll initially be hard for them, but I’m convinced that overall we would be offering them a better life and opportunities. Has anyone done this with slightly older DC, and was it awful or did they enjoy it in the end?

Perhaps just a slightly different consideration...
Do they have to go to uni in the UK? It's not the be all and end all. There are several universities in the EU, for example, where courses are taught in English and the fees are much lower.

@Fuzzypinetreewe have EU citizenship so UK is not the only option, but don’t want to take the choice of UK away from them. Thank you for all your thoughts and experiences - we have until the end of April to think it through and try and make the best decision for all 4 of us. I’m erring towards staying put at the moment - I’d love to go and I think there are many benefits for all but I recognise that we could cause them some difficulties a few years down the line and I don’t want to do that.

I think the ramifications are unfair to them. They need friends, a sense of stability and continuity during crucial years not more upheaval.

Given they are just entering the most important time in terms of education., and university is not as far away as it seems, I would a hundred per cent stay. I am a travelling soul, but things going wrong at this junction could cause no end of problems and can be permanent for teenagers. They won’t get this time back again.

Throw yourself into life here. Make friends, plan to have parties, see the things that make this country so special. In my experience people will pick up on your negativity, so make the most of it whilst you are here and plan to relocate when they are settled at university.

I moving out is fine but I would be much more cautious about moving back that late. We have ended up sucking up overseas uni fees but I don’t regret that choice. My dc really wanted to stay with their friends as teens.

Just came across this thread. Keen to know what you've decided, op.. we are about to do the same thing: moving to KL with a year7 and year4 child this summer. We have considered all the concerns raised by other posters but have decided to bite the bullet. Hope we haven't made a big mistake!

@Bamburghbeeyes we are going, but not till next year. And we are preparing to stay until youngest finishes A levels

Great news! Wishing you all the luck! As well as to Bamburghbee