Husband just interviewed for job in Thailand and not 100% sure

[boymama55]

We’ve spoken on and off about potentially moving abroad for financial reasons as well as trying to achieve more of a work life balance for us as a family. I have 3.5 y/o and a just turned 2 y/o. We currently live in a 2 bed mid terrace and 2 years into a 5 year mortgage. Our oldest will start school next September and our youngest would qualify for 30 free hours from Jan 2026. We currently have no real savings, as everything has been going on raising 2 babies and childcare with any spare cash going on house maintenance.
We currently pay £700 on our mortgage - £500 of which is interest (🤯). My husband has been a teacher in private schools for over 10 years and I was in luxury retail management but after our second baby I decided to move to a ‘non career’ 9-5 admin job and currently work 4 days a week.
My husband finally started applying for jobs last month (he’s been wanting to move jobs for several years now) and had his first interview today for an international school in Thailand on the outskirts of Bangkok. We don’t know what the salary would be yet but from what was discussed today, they seemed to think we would be comfortable enough on just my husband’s wage whilst I worked out what I may do after we arrived and were settled. I doubt he would accept if offering less than what he was on now (£38k). The package seems pretty good - full free places for both children (would start next September) , healthcare for all of us, free accommodation whilst we got settled (v.small for a family of 4) and then housing allowance once we found something more permanent. I would be on a spouse visa and not sure how easy it would be to get a job that’s within my skill set that would be sponsored/provide a work permit. I would only want to earn enough to be able to contribute half towards bills, travel in the holidays and have my own money (we’ve always had a joint account that bills go out of and our own personal money for personal spending which works for us).
just wondering if anyone had experience of moving abroad with young children and or being a trailing spouse or knows of anyone that has and how did it pan out? I just feel a little uneasy moving somewhere that I might not be able to work at all. He’s also been looking at jobs in Brazil, Dubai and Singapore which I think wouldn’t be as tricky to get work if not specialised.Also I feel like that language barrier wouldn’t be as difficult in these countries. Basically Thailand isn’t my first choice atm.

If we did end up moving abroad we would most likely rent out our house which would pay off our monthly mortgage and hopefully put us in a position where we could start making overpayments to ensure we were paid up ahead of retirement.

You had some odd replies on the other thread … moving abroad especially with younger ones can work nicely

Singapore is a great place, incredibly safe, good international schools - yet given much wealthier country than the UK and costs like accommodation can be quite costly relative to UK - you’d want to benchmark the package to check standard of living works for you

Getting a job in Singapore you’d require a work pass in your own right - the guidance is quite clear if you search for info on EP and COMPASS yet is tilted to higher expertise / income roles

There are many trailing spouses here

We rent out our house in the UK, we use an agent to manage - we looked for a long term corporate tenant

It would be worth getting your DH to find out whether you might be able to work at his school (for example in a learning assistant/teaching assistant role, possibly even admissions/reception if they hire non-Thai for that). These types of roles are common 'trailing spouse' job and if they want him, he might be able to make it a condition that they hire you too - particularly likely if he teaches a shortage subject. Pay won't be great but it will be school hours and school holidays. You have to want to work with children of course!

Also, I can't comment on Thailand, but I wanted to correct your assumption that you would find it easy to get work in Dubai (except possibly at your DH's school in the situation I've mentioned above). The general admin type of work you're talking about is low paid in Dubai, often long hours and very hard to get into. The market is flooded with applicants willing to work very long hours for very little pay, and with UAE experience which you won't have. I would not move to Dubai except on the basis that you will not be working, but instead treat you working as a good to have. I don't know the position for luxury retail management - obviously it's a big sector in the country. Depending on what you do that might be more successful but I'm assuming you mean corporate rather than managing a store. Store side will be a challenge I suspect unless you speak Arabic/Chinese/Russian as well as English, still have the right 'look' after two kids, and are prepared to work long hours.

The good news about Dubai is that once you've got the job the visa issue is fairly easy. You can be on your DH's sponsorship and then your new company will get a work permit for you. Getting the job is the issue rather than the sponsorship.

That said in your position assuming your relationship is strong, your DH is looking at one of the major Bangkok schools and the money works out, I would go in a flash. Your main issue is what happens if your relationship breaks down - you need to have an open conversation about this situation (even if your relationship isn't strong) and how make sure you don't risk being stuck in Thailand without a job but unable to leave with the kids.

Join the fb group ‘teachers on the move with children’

I agree that the cost of living in Singapore makes it a very different proposition. Thailand would be preferable from that point of view.

Don't focus too much on the salary but on the total package, not forgetting pension contributions for you both (even if you can't work). Also, check with your mortgage company to see what they will let you do regarding renting and talk to some property management companies to understand costs and the local market.

You need to hope for the best and plan for the worst and know you could manage if illness cropped up either for you abroad or those back home. Without any savings to fall back on you might be vulnerable if things don't work out how you hoped.

Living and working abroad is a great adventure if you can, but go into it with some solid plans on how to cope with issues that may arise.

Do you want to go or is this just a situation you're considering on finances alone?

I like Thailand and think living there with small children temporarily could be fun.

But you need a plan with regards to coming back ad a family, coming back alone with the kids if something goes wrong and he wants to stay and you don't.

I'd want to know what I was going to do work wise in advance and have a plan for making friends etc if you're going for years.

Brazil is a dangerous country and I'd not go with small children if you paid me. I really wouldn't fancy Dubai for different reasons!

Also seconding the question of 'do you actually want to go'?

International teaching is a great career when you're single (or a teacher couple), or married with young kids and either a teacher couple, or with a partner who wants to take a back seat career wise to focus on the kids for a bit plus you both fancy an adventure and to experience living in another country. Unless your husband is career driven and progresses quickly into senior leadership, it's not such a great career when you have secondary aged kids, and everything's becoming more expensive unless the partner is the higher wage earner. In short, absolutely go for an adventure, but have open discussions around what happens if things go wrong, and how long you plan to be doing it.

Thailand is a great choice for a first overseas teaching move. Lots of people go for a few years of adventure and end up staying for 15 years, raising their kids there.

I second what @lopsidedfalcon said re your marriage - I don't want to be doom and gloom but Bangkok is not the place to be unless your marriage is absolutely solid. You do also need to have discussions (regardless of where you go) about what happens if you split. I was lucky enough to be able to leave with the children when I got divorced; I have friends who were not so lucky and are stuck there indefinitely.

What school is the offer with? PM if you prefer. I worked in Thailand for 6 years at 2 different schools and had friends at many others; I will almost certainly know the school and can try to give you some inside info! Packages vary WILDLY and all schools will tell you it's more affordable to live there than it really is.

I had a really good life there - I went with a small child and a baby, had another while there. We could afford a wonderful nanny who genuinely became part of our family. Bangkok has every possible amenity, although we lived a pretty 'small' life and were happy with the suburbs and great neighbours. Lots of playing outside and swimming. My children had good experiences at both schools there.

In terms of work, I agree with other posters who've said the school may be your best bet (admin, admissions, TA etc). I know of other trailing spouses who have worked online in all sorts of things and just not declared it (this is super common, I wouldn't worry about doing it), and a very small number who got lucky with corporate jobs or starting their own small businesses. There is a great expat community so if you don't work for a while, you can still have a full life, for sure.

If you're keen on going abroad, I really would consider Thailand. It's a solid option, depending on the school.

Have you considered TEFL? Lots of opportunities in Thailand for that. ( it's also a beautiful country, v affordable, with a lovely culture ).

If it was me, I would jump at it. It's a stepping stone for your DH and then you can move to different places across the world

Unless you speak Portuguese or are willing to learn it I don’t think Brazil is a good idea.

Why aren’t you keen on Thailand? It’s very safe and has a lot of offer.

I went to a British international school in Bangkok (30 years ago!) we moved there for my dads job (not at the school, he was in manufacturing). For myself and my siblings we had an amazing experience and the school there was exceptional (we would have never gone to a fee paying school in the UK).

My mum struggled with the transition and sadly after 4 years my parents divorced, my dad having had an affair with a local lady. This may not be relevant and I do not want to seem negative or ‘all men’ but, this was a common occurrence amongst my peers, I can count off the top of my head 6 western families from the kids I was in school with who were in similar situations with family breakdowns.

That all said, I’m grateful for the experience we had living there as it taught me a lot and Thailand is an amazing country. But from my personal experience, and as others have said, I wouldn’t want to move there with my husband unless the relationship was 1000% solid.