Moving back to U.K. for secondary unsure

[spanglypen]

I'm looking for experiences or opinions on moving our family back to the U.K. from Europe for secondary school. On the plus side, I think the schools/education in the U.K. will be better (they go to local schools here and we cannot afford international schools) and I want my kids to have the experience of living in their homeland (they were born here). Also to be able to access U.K. universities without paying overseas fees.

On the other hand, I am worried about the rupture of moving them when they have established friendships/lives. I would like to move home but my husband doesn't really want to. He would go along with it but then if the kids are unhappy it would feel like a big weight on my shoulders for the family to be less happy having made the choice myself. Any thoughts on what we should do?

No advice but I emphasise. We have been living overseas for 5 years and planned to go home summer 2026 when one child goes to Uni and other one will start Year 10. Now my husband wants to stay until end Year 11 so that second child can finish GCSEs. I understand it's difficult to start a new school just for 2 years, but I also feel that every time I think we're leaving my husband extends his contract.

Current plan is I go back summer 2026 to be closer to child at Uni and husband and other child stay here.

Feels like my husband and I are not on the same page any more and I feel quite sad about what the future will bring tbh. Sorry no advice! But I hope it all works out for you

Hello, thank you for replying. I am sorry to hear that but also it's nice to know I'm not the only one... i hope you find some sort of resolution soon...

Yes it's so hard. I guess the only thing I'd advise is that whatever decision you make you need to both be on board with it, so resentment doesn't creep in.

My husband has no desire to return to the uk which worries me but I think he would once childrens education is finished-which feels like a long time away (5 years!)

Good luck with it - not easy at all

Moving at secondary school age is really tough for most kids.

Also, this isn’t their ‘home country’. So in effect they would be moving to a completely new country, with the expectation from others to understand all the subtle cultural references.

If you’re sure they will want to go to a British uni, then either start saving for international fees now, or go back asap to give them a fighting chance of settling into life and education in a new country.

See this is my fear. Basically I'm trapped 😔

Depends where in the UK? Also, check the National curriculum and schools options. Australian pals have found the standard for maths and sciences are way ahead whilst our friends moving from Italy found the English and essays based GCSEs, History, RE, Geography, etc tough. All were British families living overseas.

I can give you the perspective of being the kid moving around different cities/countries.
When I was 8, we moved from our home town in an island to the mainland. The type of school was different, I was in a catholic, only girls small school and moved to a state, co-ed school. I was fine, it was just for a year and I was able to make friends that year. I went back to my previous school and all was fine.
We went back to our hometown for 2 years, then we moved to Belgium for 4 years (11-15 years old). I didn't speak English or French, and it was quite hard at the beginning due to the language barrier but I still have friends from that type (in fact I met my best friend there)
After that, we moved back to our home town but to a different school. It was hard as I came back with the mindset of a central European country and it was hard to make friends as all knew each other since reception. I managed to make friends but those friendships haven't really survived until now.
Overall, it is hard but I looked at it as having the opportunity of knowing different cultures and countries. It also helps being more open minded. I don't resent my parents for all the moving around, I just had to accept it as there was nothing I could do to prevent it.