Don’t want to live in England anymore

[Orangeetree]

I have been in London for 19 years. First 10 to 15 years were ok but I am counting the years to live this country. The weather depress me and I feel we spend too much time indoors. We just been to Greece and it was lovely, we were in a lively village where kids and adults spend time socialising outside. The sky was blue everyday.

However our jobs are in London, kids are teens so we are not going anywhere until younger finish school; currently in year 8.

Do other people move abroad for similar reasons? How do they find settling in? Getting new jobs? Schools, etc?

If there was a utopia everyone would go there and ruin it.

There are a lot of Brits in southern Europe who based a life decision on a holiday experience.

For many it cannot possibly live up to expectations as that experience bears so little relationship to real life. It also seems it is often very difficult to anticipate the actual cost of living given the likelihood of a significant drop in earnings.

So many Brits refuse or fail to learn the language and then create little social ghettos which seem to be less than ideal for settling in a place long term.

The happiest people from the UK seem to live in southern Europe in the bad weather and come home for the good weather. So that's the wealthier retired and the golfers.

It is also really difficult to weigh up what you will miss when you have gone from home.

I think the book Brooklyn captures severe homesickness brilliantly.

But London is a particular kind of life, I loved it and then hated it but it depends on your stage of life.

It seems a huge risk to leave your culture without a route back.

Not far at all, I work just outside the Canton Neuchâtel! I knew it couldn't be just me here, because they sell Marmite and Branston's Pickle in the supermarket. 😀

Brooklyn by Colm Toibin? Set in 1950s Ireland in severe recession where 15% of the population emigrated because there was no work for them in a country that was only beginning to diversify from agriculture, and featuring a pathologically passive heroine whose emigration is arranged for her by her sister and mother, and who gets no say in where she goes and what she does when she gets there? Hardly the same.

Absolutely I totally agree, I was only referring to the description of homesickness. I've lived abroad and experienced acute homesickness and it is horrible. I also have relatives who have lived across southern Europe with varying degrees of integration. I have seen many families for whom it's not been successful and some who have thrived.

You may not like the English weather but over the last few years southern Europe and Australia temperatures have been up to 40 degrees or more. And they are only getting hotter.

I think England is quite temperate and a more comfortable environment to live in.

Personally I would stay in England and break up the winter months with a couple of breaks abroad in the sunshine without the crippling heat.

As others have said, the grass isn't always greener. People forget how corrupt and inefficient many countries tend to be. My plumber, for example, was telling me that when he goes home he feels embarrassed. The EU has given his country (I won't say which) huge grants to build bridges and repair roads, but the bridges and roads are still not done, and the money has disappeared. It's only when you live in a country, for months on end, that you begin to see its faults.

Another thing people don't consider is climate change. If temperatures rise as high as some now fear, places like Australia are going to be pretty unpleasant. And the Mediterranean countries will be on the front line of a migration crisis, as Africa's booming young population heads north.

Don't get me wrong, there are loads of things I hate about the UK. It's constantly overcast, and it's way too crowded. And don't get me started on the traffic! Also, the housing conditions are terrible – awful, overpriced rabbit hutches jammed on top of one another. But even if you lived in California or Sydney you'd soon come up with a list of things you hated. You'd be surprised how many people emigrate and then return home disillusioned.

Thank you everyone. Lots of food for thought. I am more of an outdoor person than a person that enjoys museums or history; apart from our jobs and the kids growing here I still don’t feel connected with the UK.

I don’t want to be ungrateful and would like to focus on the positives but the greyness of England does impact my mood. I love swimming outdoor, walking near a river, mountain, lake but I don’t want to spend 4 hours in a car on a Sunday to get to the countryside.

DH doesn’t mind doing his hobby outdoor not matter what the weather but I can’t still get used to it. I get so energised when the sun is shining the rest of the time I have to rely on my SAD lamp, yoga, meditation to keep going.

I know there is no perfect country and for the first 10 years UK was ok; now I am ready to explore somewhere new but have to wait a few more years until kids finish school I think.

Good advice. Thank you

I moved abroad 15 years ago. It's not always easy. It's a completely different culture and people have completely different attitudes towards certain things, or ways of working and that means it can be a struggle to adapt.
It's not the same as being on holiday. When I came here (mountainous area) I had visions of climbing mountains all the time but at the end of the day you still have to earn a living and that also hasn't been easy because of the way the education system works here and the kind of work you can do without the very specific qualifications they require. I've built up my own business but even then, I can't just take off all the time hiking when I've got work to complete and most of the time when I have days off it's pissing down.
That's not to say that I regret my decision. There were other reasons for moving here and I definitely do have a better lifestyle but you really do have to think about what work you will do and consider other positive reasons for moving other than going to the beach all the time.

You could use the next few years while the children are finishing school to look at options and perhaps visit some places for a longer period of time in the summer to get more of a feel for them. It's only when you are there for a longer period of time that you get more of an idea of what it might actually be like to live there.
I also think you need to have a fairly decent grasp of the language before you move there - not just hope to wing it once you get there and "you'll pick it up" as so many people claim.

It's not the language issue; it's how France deals with neurodiversity. 2 of my 3 are autistic. I know there's been some improvements in recent years but France still lags behind in this area.

I am with you OP, I moved to the UK 20+ years ago and have loved living here until a couple of years ago when I had my DC and I realised how expensive child care is here, choosing the right nursery and catchment is a minefield, difficult to entertain a toddler when it rains all the time, etc.,etc. We are now mentioning more often at home if we should do a country move with our jobs for example.
I think it’s normal for your priorities to change over a long period of time, if you don’t feel happy here anymore, it’s a big world out there, many friends and colleagues of mine have moved back to their respective countries or emigrated with their jobs to Italy, Norway, Eastern Europe, Oz, Japan, Switzerland, they say they miss some things but not others, nowhere is perfect I suppose.

If your DH is Australian and presumably your children have citizenship, surely Australia would be the easiest move for you in terms of visas, no language barriers -and you’ll have plenty of sunshine!

Now might not be the right time, but I’d strongly consider this as a future move.

Thank you. We have considered this but the cost of living and the distance from the rest of the world and in particular my home country puts me off; but it is an option. Sydney is the only place I would consider living in OZ.

To be fair, you've got loads more options than many people living in the UK and while it might be a big decision and a big move, it does seem very do-able. Also, it seems daft to me to rule out all but one city in Australia.
I admit it, I'm jealous!

Grass can sometimes be brown not green.

I lived in london for 25 years. I've now moved to the coast in SE. My kids are in a great school, I WFH. Go to the beach most days. I've made lots of friends. Life is so much calmer, easier, more fun, more relaxed.

London is intense. The rest of the uk has lots to offer.

Not with all this rain! ☔️ 😊

You have lived here for 20 years and it doesn't feel like home.... when your kids finish school you want to move and they will be put in the same position not through their own choice.

@Winter2020 Yes, this has happened to a British friend of mine here in the US. She became v. homesick after the pandemic and asked her family if they’d be willing to move back…everyone said no!

It’s definitely something consider with an international move, teenagers might not be keen.

a sample does not auto mean the grass is greener, sometimes better the devils you know, especially when eg have you researched all the rules, etc

I didn't think that since Brexit the British can now simply just move abroad indefinitely!?

You'd be surprised how many people emigrate and then return home disillusioned.

You'd be surprised how many people emigrate, stay in their adopted country, and never look back.

The schooling thing is tricky and at least one of you will need a job but other than that there is no reason why not. Plenty of people move countries. You realise that when you live abroad!

The Gower is beautiful, but south Wales is not the place to go for less rain.