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Original poster

Marseille

16 replies

AuldAlliance · 05/04/2008 10:24

Can anyone give me positive feedback about central Marseille?
DH is now working in the heart of the city and is pushing for us to move there. I can't find any good reason to do so; as far as I can see it is crowded, violent, dirty, polluted, gridlocked, lacking in open, green spaces and I don't really like the whole macho gouaille attitude that seems to prevail. I'd have to commute three times weekly at least, through horrendous traffic, to Aix, and would be responsible for ferrying DS to school, activities, etc., on top of shopping, housework, childcare and all the rest.
We have been discussing where to live for months and disagreeing. We have to move by 1st Sept as our current rental is up for sale, and are limited by the price of property in the region. I'm so tired of the constant negotiating that I feel ready to give in, but I am so against the whole idea that I need some positive vibes about the town.

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BirthdayBabe · 05/04/2008 13:09

hmmm, I've never lived there myself (I'm on the other end of the country) but the reputation of the place is what you describe I'm afraid. I wouldn't live there tbh, maybe around it but not in it. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear

ib · 05/04/2008 13:14

Oh dear, with so many beautiful areas nearby I have to say I wouldn't even consider it, I'm afraid.

Original poster
AuldAlliance · 05/04/2008 13:16

Don't worry BirthdayBabe.
TBH apart from DH, who seems to think it's a great idea because he'd be near work, no one else is remotely positive. All my colleagues who lived there have moved away since having kids and no one can think of a very good incentive for settling there.
Thanks for your input...

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nowanearlyNicemum · 05/04/2008 13:57

With so many gorgeous places within a stone's throw you'd be mad to live in central Marseille - unless maybe you were BOTH working in the centre. Where would YOU rather live?

Original poster
AuldAlliance · 05/04/2008 14:10

I'd like to live about half way between Aix and Marseille, somewhere like Fuveau, Auriol, Bouc Bel Air, Roquevaire, etc.: a village/town with sufficient local shops and amenities, good maternelle/primaire, less pollution & more greenery than Marseille.
I visited three houses in Fuveau yesterday, none suitable, but really like the place.
Got home and started talking the visits over with DH and he began banging on about the 6ème arrondissement and the Vieux Port again
I have been trying to convince myself all morning, between bouts of childish tears, that I could adjust to life in central Marseille, but just can't see it.

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Nighbynight · 05/04/2008 15:08

half way between seems like a reasonable compromise. why should you live on top of your dh's work while you ahve to commute to Aix?

marseille is a very mediterranean city, difficult for english people to adjust to, I think.

Nighbynight · 05/04/2008 15:09

oops sorry just realised that you are prob scottish

Original poster
AuldAlliance · 05/04/2008 15:21

Nae worries , I am indeed Scottish but that doesn't make me any more able to adjust to Marseille...!
DH thinks we should live near his work because he has to go in every day and works very long hours, whereas at the moment I do some of my work from home (in theory; in reality that time gets spent cleaning, shopping, etc., leaving me v frustrated).

I think I've just given up so much in order to allow him even to do this job (long story) that I'm not prepared to make so huge a sacrifice as living in the middle of Marseille. If he's leaving home at 8:30 am and getting back at 9pm, I reckon where we live is kind of irrelevant to him as he'll never spend much time there.

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Nighbynight · 05/04/2008 15:49

I dont remember any family friendly places in central Marseille but I dont know it very well. Would def not move into the city myself.

Original poster
AuldAlliance · 05/04/2008 17:02

I have a feeling there are not really any family friendly places in the centre, which is why people move elsewhere once they have kids. It's fine for a childless couple who want to go to the cinema, sun themselves at cafés on the Vieux Port, eat at seafood bistros in the evenings and so on, and it would probably be fine for DH since he could walk to work, eat out at lunchtime, etc.

I just can't see (m)any advantages for me or for DS. There is such a consensus against the idea, even from Marseillais friends, but DH is being really stubborn about it.

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Othersideofthechannel · 06/04/2008 17:12

Quick hijack (hope you don't mind Auldalliance)
Where are you birthdaybabe? Sounds like you are in the north like me.

Belgianchox · 06/04/2008 17:34

No personal experience of Marseille either, altho I don't think it would appeal to me with small dc. Is it so difficult for your dh to see the downsides for you and the dc? Could you not ask him to list the advantages of living there as he sees them - advantages for you and the children i mean, not the obvious one of him being close to his work. Surely he must be sensitive to the fact that friends of yours with small children are leaving in droves? Men can be very obtuse sometimes (sweeping generalisation, i know !
Is he bored living where you currently live? Perhaps he's just after somewhere more lively, in which case there must be a compromise possible?

Original poster
AuldAlliance · 07/04/2008 08:06

He's not particularly bored with the town where we are currently living.
I think he's bored with the more stay-at-home lifestyle we inevitably have since DS was born, and he thinks if we lived in the heart of a city we'd go out more. And he is tired of commuting to Marseille from here, as it's a long way (50mins or so), but we won't be living here that much longer anyway and I'm very happy to move closer to Marseille. The houses I visited last week were 25-30 mins away from his workplace.
He has said once or twice that he understands my point of view about living in the city centre, but I don't think he really does. I suspect he thinks I'm being a bit stubborn and have got an idea in my head which is unfounded. Actually, given the glacial atmosphere since the end of last week, I think it's just symptomatic of a whole set of tensions in our relationship.

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ggglmpp · 07/04/2008 08:25

Le vieux port is well and groovy but you won't be able to park your car, and if you do you'll come back to a wingmirror missing or the car itself gone.....But then, that is just what everyone says, as I have never been

I'd go for a village house and go for the odd boulliabiase (appalling spelling) in le vieux port.

I do believe there is a Gap in Marseilles.

ggglmpp · 07/04/2008 08:26

PS. I live in the town centre.

Original poster
AuldAlliance · 09/04/2008 14:56

Thanks for all the messages, am in bonnie Scotland with DS so haven't been on for a few days.
Consensus clearly that I shouldn't give in.
Will relaunch negotiations on my return.
There's a Gap in Aix... let me know if you want anything ggg, I'll be back on the 18th.

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