Question for those who migrated with younger kids...

[MrsBigD]

Hi all . Was wondering whether you could give my some advice/reassurance... dd, 6, has recently gotten quite moody and at times withdrawn. She's generally a very lively/bubbly/annoyingly energetic child and still seems to be ok at school, but she has right 'moods' at least once a day at the moment.

Guessing it might be move related (happening in 7 weeks, and finally registering with her) but any insights welcome!

TIA

dd has gotten worse . This morning I thought she was playing but she just wanted to hide (without her usual giggle) and won't answer or talk to us...

Did anybody's kids go through a character change close to moving date?

Ours just accepted it without much comment. They were very excited when the move actually happened.

Where are you moving to? Is it somewhere that her friends/family would be able to visit?

Have you talked about the ways of keeping touch with friends? eg. webcam, emails, etc.

We live in Germany, but the DCs were born here so they don't know any different. They just accept that Granny and Grandad live far away. They love seeing them on the webcam or chatting on the phone.

Once DD starts school, I am going to set up an email account for her to keep in touch with Granny.

We're moving to Australia and she's very excited about the fact. She doesn't see her gp's that much anyway as my mother is in Germany and MIL is in NZ

I think the fact that she'll have to give up some of her toys and soon pack up the ones that are being shipped is getting to her.

They are having 'bring a toy to school' week, where the toy is supposed to stay at school but she point blank refuses to leave it there. Funny thing is she normally does not have a fav toy ...

Are you sure it's move-related? Anything else might be bothering her? If it is move-related, maybe she'll talk to you about her worries, then you can address them directly. We're moving (again) this summer, and DS wants to know if we'll be getting a crane to move the house. Yes, the whole HOUSE.

we moved with dd who was 5 and i will admit having being an army child i was used to moving... but i also knew my parents packed up my whole room.. not a speck of dust left behind and i never had a problem. I did tyhe same with DD on this move. it has to be said that not all of her stuff is close to being unpacked yet, but she was very excited helping to pack iut all ensuring all went in. Yes it took up extra space but more than well worth it for an ease of move for her and us. I have no doubts i have ethrown away about a box full since arriving and with christmas etc we have aquired more stuff but still think i would just take the whole room. We didnt take her bed... but have bought her one here that she choose online before we even set off. and we didnt take her bike but again showed her some here she could choose from. (bike would have needed steam cleaning at vast expense!) we gave her bike to one of her best friends so that helped. She did have to sell her pony before we came but does know the pay off is eventually she will get another one and we will be on acreage so it will be kept at home which she gets quite well. oh and the pony didnt go till 2 days before we did! dont know if that helps... I guess id just pack the extra boxes. or at least offer to and see if that helps.

Cocobear LOL... ds would come out with things like that! Quite sure it's move related, well most of it anyways. DH managed to coax it out of dd that she's worried she won't have any friend .

Cloeb2002 We're not taking bikes either due to steam cleaning ... but she's happy with that because she'll get a new bigger better bike. DS will be a bit upset to leave his Thomas bike behind but I think the promise of a new one (which will be waiting for him there ;) ) will do the trick, i.e. bike's flown ahead... we don't want to pack up all of dd's things! Not so much of a cost issue for shipping but more that she's got way too much cr*p! bits missing etc...

dh managed to brighten her mood last night saying that she'll be able to buy her own tv with all the leaving money she'll be getting from friends and family LOL. Don't think she realises that she will NOT have cable/satellite as I draw the line at that ;)

I think I'll just prepare myself to 'deal' with a moody 6 year old until 5 May. the excitement of boarding the plane etc will take over I'm sure.

can sympathaise with the cr*p issue... i guess it just depends how bad the stress factor is! we just found it so much easier to let her fill the boxes. even now it amazes me what she wont let me chuck out. maccas toys etc. Riding bikes round big W was a plus tho and santa bought a swing and slide set for the garden. good luck! are you sending stuff through an agent? we had a hellish battle with customs would def go with the agent option if i ever had to do it again!

Hi Mrs BigD

We are moving in 10 weeks and 1 day to Brisbane.

DS1 is 6, DS2 is 3 and DD is 10 months.

DS1 is very excited - but I think this is because all he focusses on is the trip and the initial holiday.

DS2 doesn't have a clue, ditto DD.

I think the best thing you can do is try to involve your DD as much as possible, but at the same time, don't give too much "life" to her anxiety.

I have showed the DS's many websites about Brisbane - local sights and attractions, our accomodation when arrive etc. Both DS's are incredibly excited about visiting Seaworld for example.

Point of that longwinded post was - that it might be wise to dangle the proverbial carrot - choose something you know your DD would be interested in.

We have also promised DS2 that he can go and see Thomas the Tank at the Puffingbilly Railway in Victoria in October - as far as he is concerned we could move to Baghdad with that promise

hi dejags... thomas is also at the ipswich railway museum in december.. well worth a trip and just a tad closer than victoria!

Thanks Chloe! I did ask the lady who is organising the event at PB Railway in Victoria if Thomas was coming to QLD and she said NO .

Absolutely thrilled not to have to trek 3 kids 1000 miles to see Thomas

thanks chloe . We are using a shipping company to ship our stuff but we are packing ourselves. Already started 1 'dubious' box with picture frames, wooden toys etc. as I know they could cause issues so they're all in one location for customs to inspect.

Am getting dd involved as much as possible but considering she has no favourite toy she is really attached to ALL her toys LOL . DS loves to help packing but isn't really helping as I usually have 2 boxes ... one for the things that we are taking and one for charity but he keeps rearranging the contents thinking it's hilarious

dejags oh we are dangling! 10 days Singapore with zoo, bird paradise and most importantly swimming pool. Then in Australia she will get to see Uncle O. and Auntie J., big zoo, water, nature, strange animals, not having to go to school straight away..

will be shot for this but in your shoes again i would not declare it to customs, they are not bothered with wooden stuff unless it is wacky or wierd. we were well and truely stung by customs because we took horse stuff with us and three pine cones and it cost a wacking 1500 pounds to get it checked through. so dont bring christmas stuff...

no horses here ;) and we've already given away our christmas stuff

MrsBigD, I have a dd age 6, ds 4 and baby 10 months, we moved lock stock and barrel to Nairobi 3 months ago. Dd has also been a moody old thing at times, quite grown up and mature but quite stroppy with it. She normally takes most things in her stride and i was more worried about ds. We did all the usual involvement, pics of the house, this will be school, dangled pony lessons etc but she was still a wee bit more stroppy than normal, like your dd she was a bit worried about friends.

After arriving the two of them slotted into school, ds no bother at all, dd kept saying she missed her old school and friends at the beginning and there was quite a bit of stropping . Now though, she absolutely loves her school has loads of friends and this is where she lives. She 'emails' her bf in Somerset. And is a lot less stroppy all round, but then I am a lot less stressed .

And we are still awaiting the arrival of our container (don't laugh Coco ) so the dc have a bare minimum of things bought or lent to us.

So I think my point is, you are doing everything 'right', you just need to arm yourself with a bit more patience than normal and lots of love and reassurance. I personally don't think the toys matter that much, but it is more important that mummy and daddy are there for lots of chats and cuddles even when it gets quite stressful at the last minute.

Thanks cameroonmama I'm sure dd has pmt!!! LOL

We are trying to be reassuring etc. but she can be very trying at times ;). Ah well only 6 weeks to go until 10 days in Singapore en route which she is looking forward to.

Can't do the picture thing re. that'll be your school, house etc. as that hasn't been sorted yet!

How exciting Mrs BigD! We spent 2007 in Australia and ds who was 6 at the time did find it stressful without ever articulating it as such. Whilst he enjoyed it all; he did have to work hard in various ways ie going to a school far bigger than he was used to; adapting to different language nuances, school routines etc and working out how the playground functioned. It took him time to do all that and sometimes he just needed to chill out. He also found the holidays stragnely unsettling as it took him out of what was finally becoming familiar. Being 7 has made a huge difference.
I might give dd a toy or something similar to "look after" which she could use to share her worries about the whole experience. Alternatively the Big Bag of worries (Vriginia Ironside) is a lovely book to use to get kids talking about their fears.
I am sure that once the journey actually starts she will be totally absorbed in it rather than have to think about it. I am sure she will love it and she will build a wonderful life there. Good luck

Thanks robinpud have to look up that book!

Differnet language nuances shouldn't be too much of an issue, after all I'm Germand and dh is a Kiwi! Poor girl eh?!

It was the accents that did for my ds .. plus a lot of kids whose first language wasn't English.. getting used to lollies instead of sweets; paddlepops, proooooojects, beingmade to write "on the weekend" rather than "at the weekend".
It was just a whole lot of little things that conspired to make him feel out of his comfort zone for quite a while. So, just give dd plenty of time to get used to it all.

ok so plenty of time for dd and lots of prozac for me LOL

no need for prozac, just get yourself to a bottle shop

Hehehe yeah you're probably right though my alcohol tolerance is about 2 glasses! No stamina ...