Childcare in America - any good?

[AliceMay6]

My partner wants us to move to the US with our 3 year old daughter, but we need some more information about what life would be like over there. For example, my daughter loves the childminder she is currently with. She received a ‘good’ OFSTED rating, takes her on days out, tracks her progress against the early years curriculum and will accept government funded hours. What is childcare like in the US for a 3 year old?

America is enormous so it really depends where you are! Some of the states are the size of the Uk and provisions varies from state to state. Can you be any more specifics? My friend has raise two three year olds in the USA and has had good experiences of day care, but largely because the areas of the states she lived in had excellent education provision.

I think the options are California or Florida.

Is your partner American? Be very careful. If your relationship breaks down and your child is habitually resident in the US, are you sure you’d be able to bring them home again, and if not, would you be able to stay yourself?

My partner and I are not married so not sure how this works?

Each state has different laws in relation to child care and protection (some anre more lax than others) and there is no country wide standardized curriculum / early years plan etc to follow and there’s patchy funding for subsidized early years You’d need a licensed daycare or similar - similar to here anywhere decent will be $$$

worth noting that Florida and California couldn’t be further apart in terms of lifestyle and local state laws on everything from education to guns.

You can’t just rock up to the US and expect to live there.

If you aren’t married how do you plan to get a visa?

No idea. My partner is very keen on going and I’m not, am just trying to educate myself. Would I be unlikely to get a VISA? He thinks I’d work over there - I’m a teacher.

There are teaching visas: https://www.teachaway.com/blog/guide-to-j-1-visas-for-teachers

But if he's American I would really, really be wary. Do you want to be stuck there if he doesn't allow his child to return with you? Google the Hague convention

Is your partner American? Does he have a job to go to there? What about medical insurance? So many questions.

Tu need to research a lot more,
Sounds less than a pipe dream at the moment

As others mentioned. Research the de Hague convention. And research "stuck parents". Basically if you move to the US and you want to move back and your partner does not agree the de Hague convention on the abduction of children applies. They means a child cannot be removed from the jurisdiction where they are habitually resident.
And if you do leave the courts will force you to return the child. There are cases where mothers have been separated from young children. And it is far from unusual.

We’re all English, since birth. His ‘dream’ is to live in the US. He’s currently going through interviews for a job there. I’m a lot more sceptical, but trying to do some research about what life would be like for us there.

The reason they are short of teachers in the US is because they are often poorly paid in poorly funded school systems. There are exceptions to this, I’m sure but beware. You could look at British Schools in the US, they recruit teachers from the U.K. you can get a spouse visa on some US visas, but you would have to be married, as far as I know.

I think childcare is the least of your concerns at this early stage. It's the same everywhere - quality varies.

What I'd be asking is.

1.Visa and entertainment requirements - I may be wrong, but AFAIK unmarried partners are not eligible for dependant visas.

2.You will prob need to work for your own entry requirement and to cover living costs. How easy will it be to move and adapt to US school system - and find work.

3.What salary is he/you looking at vs. Living costs in your chosen area. Housing, Groceries, cars etc. You will need to run two vehicles.

4.Healthcare - will this be included as part of any jobs. It's a major thing to consider as healthcare is astronomical.

5.Cultural - there's a huge difference between the UK and USA and then again between Florida and California. You'll need to find somewhere that fits for you - have you visited?

1. What would happen if you split up - practically and legally.

Good advice from @Crabwoman !

Sounds like there's much bigger issues, but purely from my expertise in watching Judge Judy, it seems like childcare is cheaper but because the ratios are bigger ie one person can look after lots more kids. Maternity leave/conditions are much less good so there has to be plenty of childcare but it will be different to here unless you have plenty of money. America can be wonderful if you have the money. If not, not so much. It doesn't sound like it'll be a viable option for you anyway unless you both make much more informed plans. Don't rely on his dreams and vague idea that you can teach over there. It's a huge matter that affects you and your DC future so needs proper in-depth research.

I'm recommending Britishexpats.com There are a lot of knowledgeable people on the site. They were invaluable when we moved to the US 6 years ago.

As so many have mentioned, there’s good and bad childcare in America just like anywhere else.

Also lots to consider regarding the visa and the fact that you’re not married would mean you don’t automatically get one if your DH does. And visas are really hard to get unless you’re in an in demand industry.

And there’s no way I’d consider potentially educating a small child in Florida right now. That’d be a non starter. Also not
wise for you OP as a woman of child bearing age.

I’ve lived in both the UK and the US and prefer the US, so you might like it here, especially California as the climate is lovely.

I’m sorry but unless he’s a highly skilled tech person and you get married then there’s no chance, and the HB1 visa is very expensive.

You won’t be able to work unmarried unless you independently find a job that will sponsor a visa for you. I can’t imagine a teaching job will meet those requirements. I’ve been there, I got a 5yr visa (B2) allowing me to stay longer than an Esta allowed but it’s a tourist visa and doesn’t permit work. We got married as it allowed me to get the spouse equivalent of his (L2) and gave me permission to work. It’s not a given he will get a visa which would allow you to work even if you’re married though.

Honestly I think you’d be taking a huge risk if he is offered a job. You’d be away from friends and family and unable to work. It’s actually quite lonely. I only started to enjoy it just as we were leaving (2yr secondment).

the childcare considerations seem like they should be some way below other, more pressing, issues you haven’t yet pinned down.

Just assuming you’ll be able to work, for example. Just assuming you’ll have healthcare.

It doesn’t even sound like you want to move to the USA. Why should the entire family just do what he’s decided he wants (without properly looking in to the practicalities).

While marriage is not the silver bullet MN often presents it to be, it is worth asking yourself why you’d commit to moving abroad (and potentially being unable to leave or, worse, having to leave without your child) just because he wants to if he hasn’t even committed to marrying you.

The childcare options are not the most pressing question in any case.

California and Florida are really really expensive to live in. And getting visas is difficult and expensive. If you aren't married you cannot go with your partner unless you get your own visa. Do some reading
https://uk.usembassy.gov/visas/immigrant-visas/#:~:text=To%20apply%20for%20an%20immigrant,applying%20for%20an%20immigrant%20visa.

But childcare is readily available as more mothers seem to work in the US. However all my American relatives seem to either have a nanny, or use family childcare. No-one uses a group setting and childminders in the British sense don't seem to be a thing.

Childcare would be the least of my worries (I’m sure there’s plenty of good childcare stateside).

My concerns would be:

Is this short term or long term?
How likely is it he will actually get a visa? Is the plan that you all eventually get American citizenship or long term residency at least? If not, what’s the timeline and what’s the plan for coming back?
How much experience does he have of living in the States? Ideally living and not just a holiday. Anyone can have fun on holiday.
The US is vast and everything varies so much from place to place. How much research has he done into specific areas and why choose those areas over other areas?
What does “dream” mean? Is this something practical he has research properly, or is it based on unrealistic ideas of what like is like in the States or indeed in any other country?
Are you all really on board with this? What about your dreams, your career, your kids’ prospects, extended families and so on?