Relocating from London to Belgium - should i do it?

[RuRou23]

Hello everyone.

After 12 years living in London with my Belgian DH (we are both expats here), we have decided to relocate to Belgium (Gent) with 2 DC’s (3 and 1 yo). Many reasons for the move:

• DH works a lot in Belgium and has to drive there regularly and is becoming difficult
• Bigger support network with his family/friends nearby
• Opportunity for DC’s to build a closer bond with in-laws is very important as we have zero family in London

I was excited about the move initially but becoming increasingly uneasy. I do not speak the language (just started learning). I have an amazing job in London and I am not sure I can find anything comparable in Belgium without speaking the language. We know a lot of people there, but they all DH’s friends/family and I have no friends of my own. Will our relationship survive? How will the kids fit in?

Do you think this move is a good idea? Anyone moved to Belgium with kids and is happy there? I guess I need encouragement and success stories. Thanks!

In what you've written the biggest issue for me would be my job.

Personally I think the opportunity to live abroad would be fab for the kids.

Can you build in some contingencies where if it doesn't work out after a few years you can move again? Also look into expat groups in Gent for you to join to make independent friends.

I would personally concentrate on learning the language, look into the possibilities of remote working at your current job or alternatively look at areas other than Gent for work. Remember that there are a lot of large multinationals aswell as the European institutions in Belgium so finding work might not be as difficult as you think. Work life balance is possibly better in Belgium than England so making friends shouldn't be too difficult in an urban area (also lots of other immigrants in Belgium), although I've heard that it can be difficult in more rural areas. You say you are an expat in London, do you speak a language other than English?

Ghent is an easy commute to Brussels where there are lots of employers with English as their working language.

Do you have an EU passport is the first question I would ask. I've lived in Belgium for many years and find it a very family place. The education system is a lot more rigid than UK though, but there are also multitudes of extra-curricular activities and holiday clubs. Work without speaking fluent Dutch is certainly not impossible. I guess with a family reunification visa it would easier to jump the post brexit hoops.

Thanks everyone for the feedback! It sounds encouraging that Belgium is so child friendly and hopefully getting an English-speaking job won’t be a problem (btw I’m in tech, so the businesses in my industry are all very international). Now we are still looking for a house and it’s harder than i thought to find something. Not many new houses are coming up for sale… need to be patient.

Btw, i don’t have an EU passport. I have a UK passport and also one of my native non-EU country. That was another questions I had: does anyone know if I have to apply for family permit from the UK or can apply when i’m already in Belgium?

I moved back from Belgium to the UK to raise my children (I'm English, but my children were born in Belgium). I'm so glad I left. The people were friendly, but it wasn't home.
You can't go hiking and stop for a pub lunch as no where opens in the country for lunch. The country and culture is entirely different. The health service is great though.

I'd go and spend time out there a truly decide if you want to live in that country. I hated being apart from my friends and family.

Property in Ghent is quite expensive as a lot of the gems get passed down to family and don’t ever come on the market and it’s an affluent city. Also you need to factor in a whopping registration fee when purchasing of course! But there are lots of lovely affordable homes in commutable towns around Ghent and public transport is good.

As others have said, Belgium is a great place to raise children so no worries there but the education system is different to that of UK. It’s more rigid, less creative and more collective than individualistic but rigorous and of a high standard. Dc are encouraged to conform more to the group rather than think on their own terms which can be good and bad at the same time.

Children have Wednesday afternoons off school to pursue sports and other extra-curricular activities, and you have to factor in transport/ childcare for that when dc are young and for long school holidays.

I’d say from my own experience (so shoot me😆) that the Flemish are a bit less open to outsiders than the French-speaking population, but obviously that’s a huge generalisation on my part. A lot of them keep their friends from school throughout adulthood and commute back to their home village at night, so there is no possibility of socialising after work for example. I would urge you therefore to go for a very international company when looking for a job. The Flemish company I worked at was quite serious and quiet and everyone worked really intensely for shorter hours than UK. Not as much chatter or banter around the water dispenser though!

I think your job will be the defining factor as to whether you enjoy living in Belgium or not. Post-Brexit you will need to get the proper paperwork in place to allow you to work in Belgium. Being in tech gives you a huge advantage! I would definitely investigate this before you come by going to see the commune (local council equivalent) where your parents-in-law live, and check out what is permitted and what is not, in terms of your proposed residency.

If you are able to work in Belgium continuously for five years, and you pay tax for that period of time, and you can prove you have integrated sufficiently by learning one of the native languages, volunteering locally, joining your commune’s sports or arts programme for example (keep all paper documentation for your dossier) and paying taxes, you can then apply to become a Belgian citizen.

I love Belgium! The people are generally friendly and polite. The work life balance is better. The health care is excellent! The food is amazing! As is the subsidised public transport. If you are prepared to work hard and make an effort to integrate you can have a great life here! The people are modest and pragmatic. They don’t like show offs or loud mouths! Very warm to children while demanding quite a lot of them academically.

The high taxes are a bit crushing - they stifle enterprise - and you will have less disposal income as a result of them. The cost of living is expensive and rising! However it does mean that provision of public services is good.

I’d say that Belgians know how to enjoy life in a modest happy way! There’s always some local Saint’s feast to celebrate or cultural event happening at weekends. The sports and the arts are easily accessible. Get involved and you will have a great time!

Good luck with your decision!

If you currently have 2 kids nursery age in UK - you will notice a positive improvement in cashflow! The 3 year old can attend kindergarten for free for a start with very modest charges for before/afterschool club. Holiday clubs are also very cheap. And any childcare or activity costs for under 12s are tax deductible. My mutuelle paid for one holiday club a year too, so free. A cleaner too is tax deductible if you use the Dienstencheque system - which has a fixed price of 10 euros per hour. You can also use these for things like ironing services. Food is expensive compared to UK though and less pre-prepared stuff, though this is getting better. You will probably find it reasonably easy to find a tech job in English - though Brussels has more international employers than Gent. It's common to get free public transport passes - for train, or local buses/trams, and if you don't get a company car (also frequent) and also lunch vouchers as part of employment package. Also eco cheques. So these little things add up.

As Frangiblepins said - the Belgian's don't tend to socialise outside of work - though happy to go for lunch. Family is seen as v important and I have seen a large proportion of male colleagues leaving early to do school run and cover sick days. There's always been sympathy and non-judginess in the event of family emergencies. I was quite surprised by the support and even funeral attendance by colleagues if someone's e.g parent/IL died. My dd is at Uni now and even the kids in Uni accommodation tend to go home at the weekend. Easier I guess as Belgium is not that big, but you'd think they'd be relishing their new-found independence. I had to put effort into making local friends, easier for you if you will have dh/family etc.

In terms of visa status, as your DH is Belgian I don't think EU family rules will apply but the Belgian immigration regulations for spouses will. It looks fairly straightforward but may take a while to process, and it looks as if it must be done before you go:

Family reunion visas in Belgium: join a relative or partner | Expatica

Official site: Family reunification | IBZ

I lived in Belgium/Brussels when my kids were small and it didn't suit me at all. We moved there from Paris and went to London afterwards and those cities were much more my type of places. I found Belgium to be quite soulless, unimaginative and slightly hostile. It doesn't help that there is a constant Flemish/French divide and an annoyance towards expats from the Belgians. It was very hard to make friends that weren't also from elsewhere and the service was horrible most of the time (much like Paris I suppose).

When I lived there it was very hard to find work if you didn't speak at least one of the official languages, but it's possible that has changed now and in IT it should be a lot easier than if you work in my field (creative).

I lasted 5 years but would never move back there. On the other hand I do know people who have moved there and stayed and been happy, but those are also the kind of people who would never be happy living somewhere like London.

On the other hand I do know people who have moved there and stayed and been happy, but those are also the kind of people who would never be happy living somewhere like London.

What does that mean Snoken?

I have lived for long periods of time in London and in Belgium and I loved both experiences!

Just that some people find cities such as London and Paris overwhelmingly big and busy and smaller cities suit them better. It's a much smaller world, especially as an expat, living in Brussels compared to London. If you find your people and have a job you enjoy it's probably great but there aren't as many opportunitues to change things if you aren't happy with what you have got.

Thank you @Snoken for sharing your experience. I can definitely see how Belgium is less exciting then London and the variety and availability of everything in London is hard to beat. I used to love London in my twenties and thought I would never move out. However, since having kids I am craving more stability than London can offer. As I am not English, I have the same experience as you had in Brussels - 90% of my friends are from abroad and I do find it difficult to make British friends. So that means that friends move/leave all the time and I am so sick of constantly making new friends. In Belgium we will have our long-term friends and my DH's family and I think we need it now for the children.

Just an update from my side. We have decided to move and are in the process of buying a property now. I will be leaving my job and look for something local after I take some time off work to learn the language. Scared but excited, wish me luck :)

Good luck! We're heading into our 18th year here.

Hi Snoken, we loved our time in Brussels although agree with PP that it feels small compared to London and Paris. Just wanted to say that there are lots of offices in Brussels where the working language is English (especially Bxl offices on international law firms, consultancy/lobbying/comms agencies and so on)- not sure exactly what you do in IT but it's not crazy to think you might find a role where you'll be able to work primarily in English.

@RuRou23 You setup is slightly different than mine as you already know people and have a family connection. I'm not British either but found both London and Paris a lot easier to move to and to make friends in. It's less of a concern for you though as you have already some established links.

It's worth trying it out, it pretty much always is, but maybe speak to your husband about what to do if you don't like it. Can you put a time limit on it when you will evaluate? Like 2 years or something. It's horrible feeling trapped in a country you don't want to be in and you don't know what it's going to be like yet.