Moving to Lausanne

[LabradorLady1]

We’re looking to move to Lausanne with my husband’s job next year. I was excited at first but now feel that the reality is sinking in- feeling a sense of unease about all the decisions to be made including schools/ where to live etc etc. Is there anyone else out there who has made a similar move or due to make one? I won’t be able to work out there at first so also feeling a bit weird about fully being dependent on my husband for income!!

Mmm. I had this with my ex husband I did not want to go as felt I would have been isolated. It's a difficult one as the marriage ended up breaking down as he wanted to go and I didn't.
Looking back, I wish I had gone. Not for
My marriage but for the experience. Is it a short term post?

What age are the kids?
There shouldn’t necessarily be a problem with you also finding work.
have you been on comparis.ch to start looking at areas.

Thank you so much for your replies, I really appreciate it. Sorry for my late reply- We’ve just got back this morning from a ridiculously busy few days in Switzerland (without the kids) to have a look at schools and areas to live in. I’m so pleased we did it as have decided we would be most at home on the Vevey/ Montreux side of Lausanne and the international school there looks great. It’s so beautiful there but I can definitely see that I will probably find it all a bit overwhelming at first and am scared of that ‘what on earth have I done?’ feeling. Is that just me or is it a completely normal feeling that people just push through?

It is fabulous here - you’ll love it!

Switzerland is a fantastic place to live, especially for children. We’re in the German part so I can’t help with the area but check out the international mothers in Switzerland fb group. It’s a really helpful group. What ages are your children? Would you consider local school? They have excellent schemes to help integrate international children and to get them up to speed on language asap.

Ah, thank you! I’m feeling a bit better today though cried at work this morning handing my notice in 😢 I’m not one to adapt to change very easily. Having said that, I was terribly sad moving to where we live now in the UK and ended up loving it. I just hope that I can hold it together enough to actually see the move to Switzerland through- I keep getting this awful feeling of impending doom that washes over me with no warning and feel like I want to back track.
The kids would be at a bilingual international school so will get to learn French/ option of doing general schooling more in French more as they improve but with no pressure as they are 8 and 10 and my eldest is dyslexic (so starting from scratch with spelling/ writing/ reading in another language might be more of a push for him). I hope that the international school will have a community of other parents who have left family/ friends behind so will be open to making new friends. Not to say that the locals wouldn’t be lovely but they would be totally bored talking to me with my current (quite rubbish) language skills. For me, I think my biggest fear is being lonely.

I’m also going to recommend thinking about local school. The support is really excellent for integration, and if the supplement with sports /activities that aren’t in English they will do great.

There are always opportunities for making friends but you have to do it actively.

Thank you for your replies. I’m quite sociable and will make the effort with friendships. Still a bit on the fence about local schools but will have a look into it.

You are moving very close to me! Feel free to pm me with any questions. Yes, it can be isolating when you first move somewhere without language skills, but you quickly make friends with other people in the same boat - and there are a lot of us!

I think your 10 year old is better off in international school as they only have two years until their pathway for schooling is decided. But your 8 year old would be fine with total immersion in local school if they are the outgoing type. You don’t have to figure that out until just before you arrive.

Bon courage!

Thank you PomPom, that is so lovely of you. Nice to know there will be other ex pats there so hopefully the transition won’t be too bumpy with other people in/ or who have been in a similar position.

We lived in Lausanne for 4 years. Switzerland is marmite, its really love or hate. We hated it unfortunately.
I would definitely recommend international schools, the Swiss school
system is very different

Thank you. Credit for you for giving it a go for four years- that must have been really tough especially as it really wasn’t your cup of tea. Did your children go to a local school? Did it get easier as time went on? I hope you’ve managed to settle back to the UK (I’m presuming) and are enjoying being back. It’s good that it sounds like your family were all on the same page. Must be really difficult if you can’t settle but your other half is having a ball and doesn’t want to go back!

We were there for my work, which was part of the issue. Switzerland works well fro a traditional family model (dad out working, mum stay at home or very part time), but not for a non traditional (me earning significantly more than husband, so husband main carer for kids).
the people I know who were/are very happy are either single/couple with no kids or traditional family model. everyone else found it very difficult as well (same sex couples, female main earners, single parents).
my husband hated it as much as I did as he was never taken seriously as primary caregiver for the kids. On the other hand, to leave, only his signature was required to sign of MY work permit (man is the head of the household…).
but if you are a “traditional family” it will be a lot easier.
We are “serial Expats”, lived happily in several countries before, and are now in the UK, so its not the expat life as such that we were struggling with.

Wow, that is a very interesting insight. I can’t work out there as I need to sit a French exam at a relatively high level which I am totally not even close at the moment! If we are there for a few years I can crack on with learning the language/ do the whole housewife thing in the mean time but it will be a bit of a change for me.

i don’t know if that is a Canton specific issue, but I certainly started working whilst learning at A1 level.

I live in the area you’re looking at. We love it. The weather is awesome and massively underrated as a plus point IMVHO. Lake all summer, skiing all winter.

Local or international depends on your longer-term plans (which I know are hard to know!) and contractual set up.

If you’re on an expat contract and likely to move on within a 5 year period, and DH’s work is paying for schooling, I’d go international. Local school would be too much unnecessary disruption.

If it’s a local contract and with little or no financial help I’d go local. Unless DH will be on CHF 250-300k+ in which case you can afford it yourselves. The big international schools will be CHF 35k per year per child. There are smaller private bilingual schools for around CHF 20k but usually offer a Swiss curriculum (so you may as well save the cash and go local).

We’re on a local contract for my work. My kids have been in local school for all of primary and are very happy. But we have seen many families struggle once kids older than about 7 start with the local system. Picking up French will take time. None of this fluent in 3 months rubbish!!! They sound fluent as they get the accent straightaway but I would say allow 2 years for full fluency. Another poster mentioned the critical part of schooling at the end of primary which is very true. It’s a bit like a compulsory 11+ which then streams them for middle school. Deffo read up on this given the age of your eldest.

Many new arrivals also get frustrated with the fact that kids go home for lunch in local schools. You can pay for lunch at school but places are very limited and you are lower on the priority list if only one of you works. We pay nearly CHF 600 per month for lunch (no before/after school) 4 days per week (Wednesday afternoons all schools are off).

In the international schools even if in a bilingual stream do not expect your kids to reach full fluency in French. Kids are lazy buggers when it comes to languages so will default to English as much as poss. Even if they do half their time in French, they’ll be pretty good, but as it’s not as immersive as local school, it’ll take longer to acquire the high levels. But perhaps that doesn’t matter too much - depends on your longer term plans.

Anyway, I guess my point is do the research re schools and you’ll be fine. It’s a beautiful corner of the world and a great place to bring up kids.

Oh last comment. Do make sure it’s a decent salary. It’s an expensive corner of the world too. Fine if you’re earning ok but do your sums first too. Allow CHF 5-5.5k for rent + health insurance.

Enjoy! And let us know if you have other questions!

Thank you for your reply ooopzy. My husband’s job offer came through which was less than we expected but he has now been offered an option to take that as a UK contract (work remotely with some travel) on the proviso that we are willing to move the family out when he is promoted (likely mid/ end next year) which would make the move a much more attractive option even taking into account cost of living/ international schools etc. I am feeling quite anxious as has been a few months of uncertainty now and feel terribly nervous about committing to going. I must admit I felt so relieved when the job offer came through initially and I thought we would be staying! It’s hard to make the leap into the unknown especially when we are very content here- lovely community, friends, school etc but I also see that if I say a point blank no at this point my husband will likely be disappointed and we could be missing out on an amazing opportunity. I am going to arrange some sessions with a councillor to discuss it as I have realised I am terrified of change- it really has sent me into a panic- I need to work out if this is something I can work through or if it’s not and I risk the wheels falling off if we do move!!

@LabradorLady1 you are right to be stressed. Moving abroad, especially with slightly older kids, is stressful. Somehow it’s easier when they are tiny. So much to worry about!! Change is scary and I get that you want to do the right thing.

DH can take the job now, and worry about moving or not later. If it’s a big employer beginning with “P” they seem to often change their minds on their org structure so if they are talking about something for the end of 2024, I’d take a “wait and see” approach and nod and smile and then decide later about moving.

What I would say though is that if you decide to go for it then you really have to embrace it. We’ve seen many families move out here where one parent (often the non-working mum) has been reluctant, the kids have picked up on this and they’ve left within 2 years. Whereas those who are determined to make it work and are positive about taking the rough with the smooth have settled much better.

In my experience of living and working abroad in 3 countries now, you’re either someone who can do it or not. It’s very black and white, and anyone falling into the grey area often ends up leaving or being super homesick/miserable. So you may need to do a bit of soul searching on that. For me and DH it was easy - we’d always wanted to live abroad and travel appt, and we’re not particularly close to family. In fact I’d say the happiest people out here are at least a little bit glad, or at the very least aren’t bothered, to have some geographical space between them and people back home!!