Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

WWYD - Partner offered job abroad

34 replies

Onelifeonly22 · 04/08/2023 17:26

My partner has been offered a fantastic job abroad (beautiful beaches, tropical small island, offshore) - great pay, good work life balance, v interesting opportunity etc. His job here is also good but not secure and he has a long commute.

The dilemma is that I have a great job here (great company, can wfh when I want, flexible hours, good pay etc although it's not perfect, but what is). My company won't permit me to work remotely from abroad.

I am lucky in that I could get a good job in the country where we'd potentially move due to my professional qualifications on similar/higher pay but I'd have to go back to a much more corporate environment, in a different area and be in the office 9-6 recording billable hours to clients.

On the one hand it is an adventure and a slower pace of pace, and a chance to save more money than we could here to put towards a forever home. It is also apparently an amazing place to raise a family (we'd be trying soon) and a chance to be near beaches and nature. However, I also can't imagine going back to being in an office 5 days a week etc and the mat leave is less good. I have spoken to people who have moved there and they all love it but none has been in my job situation.

Has anyone taken the plunge and moved abroad when it meant leaving a good job? Any regrets? We'd go for 3 years.

OP posts:

Loveatortie · 04/08/2023 17:34

How old are you both? Do you own a property in the country you live in? We did when we were mid twenties, it was a fantastic experience. Ended up staying 6 years. I would say go for it.

tescocreditcard · 04/08/2023 17:40

I might consider if if I wanted a family and it's a great place to have one and the timings not too bad but only if married. No way would I be giving up a good job for anything less than marriage and all the security that entails

londonmummy1966 · 04/08/2023 19:01

As you're not married there is no way I'd give up a job that suited me as its not for mutual benefit but all for his. Even less likely to do so if TTC.

FeelingPrickly · 04/08/2023 19:14

There are risks involved but it’s for 3 years - go and have an adventure!

roses2 · 04/08/2023 19:21

Get pregnant now then go and spend 1 year of your maternity leave there? Then decide how much you like it.

Ponderingwindow · 04/08/2023 19:21

If you aren’t married, I wouldn’t even be willing to have the conversation. You should not be making career changes that are not completely driven by your own needs in that situation.

Ilikewinter · 04/08/2023 19:22

Is it possible to take a career break from your current employer?

thelionthewitchtheaudacityofTHISbitch · 04/08/2023 19:24

I did this when i was single. Hard work but fun. But I wouldnt go if not married. However I did know several couples who married under these circumstances and not a single couple has made it long term.

bigbadbarry · 04/08/2023 19:29

Would your employer give you a sabbatical?

coxesorangepippin · 04/08/2023 19:32

What people said re. Not married

HundredMilesAnHour · 04/08/2023 19:36

A good friend of mine did this. His girlfriend went too and found her own job there as well. This was in Bermuda. They stayed there for 2 years, had a great time and then returned to the U.K. They're now happily married with a family (but their working abroad days are over).

Augustmoon1 · 04/08/2023 19:43

Is he going to be earning a lot of money? If so, get married quickly before you go and go for it. You can either get the job there or pick it back up when you're back. Life is short.

If he's not earning enough to keep you both comfortably I'm not sure I'd bother.

Strokethefurrywall · 04/08/2023 20:28

Is it Cayman? If so, happy to answer any questions, I've been here nearly 16 years, I left London in 2007!

caringcarer · 04/08/2023 22:04

I wouldn't give up my job, friends and social life to go overseas if I wasn't married and had that security. The idea of getting married and pregnant quickly then going over when on maternity leave is a good one. He could go first, find you nice accommodation and sort out furniture etc and you go when you break up for maternity leave. See how it goes.

Augustmoon1 · 04/08/2023 23:49

caringcarer · 04/08/2023 22:04

How do you propose she gets pregnant if her partner is halfway round the world?! 🤦🤦🤦

roses2 · 05/08/2023 12:12

It can be done if you know you're timings. I got pregnant with both children whilst DH was on a stint working abroad. I worked out the dates and went each month for 6 months to get pregnant then spent my 1 year maternity abroad with him.

Original poster

Onelifeonly22 · 05/08/2023 18:02

Thank you so much everyone for the replies and sorry for delay in responding. I thought no one had replied, but I just didn’t have alerts on 🤦‍♀️. It’s Bermuda not Cayman but thank you for the offer @Strokethefurrywall ! Interesting that your friends only stayed 2 years @HundredMilesAnHour. We’re late thirties. Getting pregnant beforehand is a potential option though not sure we’re quite there yet (but hopefully soon)! Can’t count on it happening of course. I couldn’t take a sabbatical sadly given it would be 3 years. I do worry it could be a lot of pressure on the relationship, that’s actually probably my biggest worry (which could happen if I am not happy), his too which is why he is putting no pressure on me. On other hand it could be a wonderful adventure and shared experience. Ultimately both are probably great options which is why it is hard. I note everyone’s comments about marriage.

OP posts:

Ilikewinter · 05/08/2023 18:36

Ooh Ive been to Bermuda and it was lovely...but eye wateringly expensive so I hope hes going to earn a salary!. Knowing thats where it is, personally I would jump at the chance to go.

Thehonestybox · 05/08/2023 18:42

In your situation I would definitely go! What you've got here in the UK is VERY easy to get back into and not worth passing up an adventure for.

If it's a disaster then no big deal if you come back in a year!

Original poster

Onelifeonly22 · 05/08/2023 18:57

Thank you for your thoughts @Ilikewinter and @Thehonestybox . We did a trip to see it and I agree about prices! 😂 My job has a LOT of benefits - 6 weeks holiday, great offices, flexi working, it’s a great name on CV and almost everyone is very nice which, after my previous company and hearing horror stories from some peers at other companies feels high stakes to lose. But if I’ve found this kind of company once hopefully I could find a similar company when we return (if we go). If I was in my last job it would have been an easier decision!

OP posts:

WoolyMammoth55 · 05/08/2023 19:15

Can you firmly establish what your visa and residency rights would be if you broke up while there?

I had a friend who moved her life overseas for he partner, he left her about 6 months in for a beautiful local woman... She had no rights to stay as had been on a 'trailing partner' visa and so got dumped and almost immediately booted out of the country.

She ended up living back with her parents and we were on suicide watch. She's ok now but it was a dream that turned into a total nightmare.

Obviously hope that won't be you but it's yet another reason to get married before you go - much longer process to dissolve that than getting dumped over breakfast!

chopc · 05/08/2023 19:21

You are late 30's - what are you waiting for? As PP said, start your family now and get the difficult stage out of the way whilst you are in Bermuda and even if you don't work out there you will have some certainty with childcare needs etc and what you need to put in place to return to the workplace.

BigGreen · 05/08/2023 19:21

Gosh yes, kids are so tying, I deeply regret not living longer abroad before we got into the whole schools thing. Bermuda for a few years sounds incredible. Fwiw, I've worked in loads of different organisations and it's been a big benefit to learn the best of all the different cultures inside them.

caerdydd12 · 05/08/2023 19:24

Have you looked at visa conditions with you being unmarried? You may find you need your own separate work visa and therefore need to secure a job beforehand. (If you decide to go, of course).

HuntingoftheSnark · 05/08/2023 19:39

@Onelifeonly22 I worked in Bermuda for 10 years (came back 20 years ago so a bit out of date!). Definitely pros and cons. One of the cons at the time was the six weeks' maternity leave (although I believe that's 13 weeks now). I hated the first year to be honest - partly the job, I went out there mid twenties with one of the big four. Obviously liked it enough to stay but it's not like being on holiday for 10 years, to state the obvious. Salaries sound great but cost of living is extremely high.

Flip

1 2